To be irritated by colleagues weekly query about when I'm leaving work?

[BaMamma]

My colleague has a private meeting at 5pm and every week for the last few weeks she asks me at around 4:30 whether I'll still be in the office at 5pm and every week I say sorry, but my bus is at quarter past, and I don't want to wait in the cold, so I'll be here for a little while after 5.

It didn't bother me the first week, but it's really getting on my nerves now.

Didn't help that she took a personal call at 4:40 which mostly consisted of her saying 'I can't talk now' while walking in and out of the office.

@CheeseWisely she could be having issues at home hence unable to take the calls at home.
Nobody would want to have private calls at work if they could avoid it.

If it's a work meeting and it's booked for 5 as that is when you are supposed to be finished work and she should have the office to herself, then YABU.

Do your hour's and don't let her hound you out before that and tell her straight that's what you'll be doing.

That’s a lot of ifs, but it isn’t and I’m not so she shouldn’t.

Completely disagree with this - no office I have worked in as a deadline like that. Some days you might need to stay a bit more to fishing some things off. No one is kicked off at 5pm on the dot. Completely unreasonable. If it is a work meeting that cannot be overhead by colleagues it’s her responsibility to find a private space to take said meeting or escalate it to management stating that she can’t find a place where she won’t be overheard.

She wants you to take the hint. One of you is going to have been up front,

I know quite a few people who do teletherapy from their office, often because they don’t have a safe or private place at home.

Regardless, OP, I understand why it grates but also she’s not being openly rude so I’d just be neutral and direct. “I noticed you’ve asked the last few Mondays what time I’ll be leaving. Just so we don’t need to rehash the same conversation every week… I’m here until a few minutes past 5 every Monday because of the bus schedule.”

If she wants to ask you to do her a kindness and step out at 5pm then you could consider obliging, but otherwise I wouldn’t entertain the clumsy hints or indirect pressure.

Time to be blunt OP - if she asks again tell her you will always be leaving after 5 as that has always been your schedule to get home. It doesn't change, she doesn't need to keep asking, there's no room for negotiation. If it's a problem she needs to rearrange her meeting as your travel circumstances were always pre-existing.

Then if she asks again, ask if she's joking or should you be concerned about her memory
Just kidding.. ish

Do the higher ups know she's doing this?

"Please could you stop asking me the same question every single week. I leave at 10 past 5 every day to catch my bus. This is a general office space and I'm working - if you have a private call you need to take, just go somewhere more private or reschedule your call. Please don't ask me again".

I never understand why people don't just communicate with each other in a simple, straightforward way!

Sounds to me like she's having some kind of online counselling session and doesn't want to be overheard. Probably can't do it at home due to lack of privacy and needs to reschedule her appointment to 5:30 or a different day if you leave earlier instead. It's a her problem.

Then she could speak to her employer / HR and see if an actually private space could be facilitated for her.

Maybe Barrie from accounts comes over, opens up her spreadsheet, goes through her budget, sees she’s overspent?

Is it a personal or work meeting ?
I'd breezily answer with 'same as every week Sandra, I'll be here till 10 past....'
if it's none work related she can book it later or find somewhere else quiet to go. Not your problem at all.

I think you are being incredibly unkind op. She's clearly in a tight spot and I think you should show her a bit of empathy, especially if, other than you, everyone else has gone.

Get your coat on at 4.59.45 and go and wash up your mug, pop to the loo, put on some lippy, scroll MNet for five minutes. Just give a colleague who may be having a very hard time a break. You never know, she might do you a favour one day.

She is being unreasonable, for two reasons.

First if she needs a private space, then it’s on her to find one. If it was something like counselling as some have suggested, I’m sure the employer would facilitate a private space for her if she asked. But actually OP hasn’t posted anything to suggest that it’s anything like that. And this woman hasn’t actually asked OP to leave and give her privacy; she is just hinting that she wants it.

Second is that if OP is quite regular in what time she leaves the office, she doesn’t need to ask every week what time OP is leaving! If it were me, it might be reasonable for my colleague to ask, because I leave anywhere between 4.30 and 5.30 just depending on how busy I am and what I’m doing after work. But that isn’t the case here - this is someone at the mercy of the bus timetable.

I imagine she is having a counselling or coaching session.

Id just say the same as last week when you asked, and the one before that and the one before that. Do we need this conversation every week when it's never going to change, as it's getting tiresome now.

I wanna know what the private after hours "meeting" is! Walking in/out saying "I can't talk now" while OP is there is hilariously intriguing. 🤣

This is the way to go...

She needs to go elsewhere for her private meeting. Not a general office space.

If it's a personal meeting and she's a colleague not a boss, just say "sorry Janine, I know you've got this call everyday but I work until 5:15. Maybe you should reschedule it for later if it's confidential."

It’s probably AA or counseling. Unless you’re an international company it’s unusual to have meeting scheduled in at 5pm. Just cheerfully say ‘Ten past five. Sheila’. Then pop your headphones on.

This

God forbid anyone put themselves out slightly to help someone else out

Yes I had a team member who was having counselling online. She was in an abusive relationship and couldn't do it from home. Maybe it's something like that ?

Is there nowhere else in the whole building you can wait in the warm for your bus? It’s obvious she’s trying to have therapy or something. A bit of kindness would go a long way here.