To be irritated by colleagues weekly query about when I'm leaving work?

[BaMamma]

My colleague has a private meeting at 5pm and every week for the last few weeks she asks me at around 4:30 whether I'll still be in the office at 5pm and every week I say sorry, but my bus is at quarter past, and I don't want to wait in the cold, so I'll be here for a little while after 5.

It didn't bother me the first week, but it's really getting on my nerves now.

Didn't help that she took a personal call at 4:40 which mostly consisted of her saying 'I can't talk now' while walking in and out of the office.

Just say you haven't decided yet. And say that every time. She sounds a bit batty.

Oh, for goodness sake. Be a nice person. Leave at 5 to 5. Go to the loo. Do your make up. Brush your hair. Refil your water bottle. Spend 5 minutes on Tic Toc. Walk slowly to the bus stop. It doesn't take anything away from you to accommodate someone else's needs.

If she’s having counselling she won’t have a huge choice of times and straight after work is sensible. It’s a shame she couldn’t just tell you and work something out but perhaps assertiveness or lack of it is one of her problems!

So just be direct and tell her. Put on some headphones. She’ll live.

Just ask her..."why are you asking? Do you have a call? Who with?". Every.single.time she asks when you're leaving. She'll soon stop.

I'm wondering if she has permission from management to have this out-of-hours "meeting" on work premises?
Is your line-manager aware?

Why can't she do this at home?

Some information missing here...

I also thought therapy. If it’s through NHS IAPT they won’t be able to do after 5. Luckily I had an understanding boss when I had to do it and she used to let me leave at 4 so I could have my zoom in private, at home. She needs to try to find somewhere private to do it rather than asking you every week.

Edit: as a PP suggested, you could also be nice and make an exception and leave a bit earlier one day a week, because that would be a kind thing to do. But I’m going to get loads of replies saying WHY SHOULD THE OP INCONVENIENCE HERSELF JUST BECAUSE SOMEBODY CAN’T MANAGE HER TIME? WHY SHOULD THE OP WAIT IN THE COLD FOR TEN WHOLE MINUTES? SHE WILL GET HYPOTHERMIA etc etc.

Our work offers therapy from work. You join by zoom call. It’s not an obvious thing, you have to go down certain routes to know it’s available.

You could always ask her why she needs to know. Next time she does, say you’re planning to leave at your usual time, and tell her she’s been asking a lot, then ask her why. If she gets off about it, ask her if she needs anything before you go.

If someone's working day finishes at 5, that wouldn't normally mean that they have vacated the office by that time.

Where I worked, a colleague who would put 4.00 pm finishing time on her timesheet used to shut down her computer at 3.45 pm and spent the remaining 15 minutes preparing to leave. She was pulled up on this and told that she was expected to be working until 4.00 pm.

Just guessing, but if she’s getting counselling via work’s EAP , or if they have encouraged her to get help, then they will have agreed to her using work facilities for it. She may not have privacy at home and her partner may be part of the problem. Give her a break OP.

Why is she having private meetings on work premises using work facilities? Surely she should arrange them in her own time?

I'd be tempted to start leaving late that day, just for the hell of it.

Every time she asks

uou asked me that last week, the answer is the same as last week, do you want me to repeat the answer & will you ask again next week

Why cheeky?

When I was temporarily working from different continent, I used to call my family from a meeting room just before/after work quite regularly.

Given the timezone difference, going home first and calling from there wouldn't work, and calling using the laptop and office equipment was much nicer than having just my phone.
Yes, the difference is that we had meeting rooms and some was always free at that time.
The management knew, I asked about the office opening times at the beginning. The answer was "of course, it's fine"

I suppose the difference is asking permission vs sneaky using it.

Who cares? A random coworker isn’t your boss and I’m assuming you’re not banned from working late!

Christ alive that would irritate me too. You need to nip it in the bud - tell her to stop asking, you leave after 5pm every week and this won't change. If she has a private call she needs to find a private space/meeting room/cupboard or suggest she move her meeting to 5:15pm by which time you will have left.

It might be, if the zoom meeting is private and there is no where else to do it (and she’s meant to have finished work!).

Tell her to reschedule her meeting for 5.15, that’s easier for her than for you to reschedule your bus!

Do you not have private meeting rooms in the office? If it after hours these should be free.

Depends what the meetings for really. If it is counselling or something like that then you’re actually being a bit of a PITA. Though to be fair offices are rarely totally empty by 5pm.
Are there no other rooms one of you could move to?

It sounds to me like she's having online counselling or similar. She won't get a huge say in when that happens. Can you sit elsewhere while you wait for the bus? Doesn't seem a huge ask.

you are confusing offices and "private" meeting rooms you can book.

No one is entitled to have the office to themselves, people can work late or do whatever they please.

OP, for the fun of it, I would do what the poster above suggested and stay late a couple of times. What cheeky cow thinks she can childishly hint you need to be out every week? Let her hint away and schedule some work call or something 😂

It only sounds like you’re staying an extra few minutes so what’s her problem? By that point you’d be gathering your bag and leaving anyway.

If it’s not work related then she should go and find somewhere else to take the call.