Parents evening MUST be face to face

[Twinkle786]

Hello everyone, i have 2 children in mainstream school years 3&4. School has gave out parents evening dates and i replied to both teachers requesting a telephone appointment because i am unable to attend a face to face appointment. My son’s teacher gave me a date and time for a phone call no problem. However my daughter’s teacher said quite abruptly - “no it has to face to face” I said “oh my sons teacher said its fine and will do it over the phone” and she said again very sternly “well Im doing as I'm told all appointments are face to face this year so no phone call” So i replied “well the appointment you have given me i will have to cancel then as i wont be able to attend” and she said “right well il be in touch to see when you can rearrange” End of conversation i left with my children.
I have 2 other children at home, one is a non verbal autistic 3 year old who has suspected adhd too (sleeps on average 5 hours in a 24hr period) Exhausting!! and a 11 year old who cannot and will not leave the house due to his disability. During school run pickup i have a friend that comes over to sit with them whilst i collect my other children as soon as im back she has to leave as she has work commitments, so already it is extremely rushed for me to get home asap.
I have explained this to my daughters teacher in a email which i replied to straight away when she emailed me with a different date and time again to see if i was available. I also stated that during school hours i would be able to attend as i can make arrangements during these hours for childcare. I have had no response. In the past i have attended all parents evenings as i was able to rely upon my mother and father to look after my children whilst i attended the appointments, but now both have sadly passed away so i dont have anybody else who can watch them after school hours. I don't understand why she is refusing to do a telephone appointment, this is really stressing me out and i don't want to be the talk of the staff room.
100% i know what my daughters teacher is going to say during parents evening as they say it every year- good as gold, model pupil always listens works hard never in trouble etc etc so its not as if there is any concerns with my daughter i have no doubt about that.. How am i meant to approach this little situation now any advice please.

@Foostit I think you just read it wrong which is easily done. I can understand why you thought someone suggesting a christmas day visit was crazy.

Oh yeah! 😂 Thanks for pointing that out. Apologies for that.

@TheignT isn’t understanding that there wouldn’t be time on the allocated evening. As someone pointed out earlier in the thread, you never get 100% attendance and lots of parental meetings overrun for various reasons. It would definitely involve the teacher giving up another another evening. Parents’ evenings are planned in advance and calculated as part of a directed time budget. Anything additional would not be so it would be unpaid.
If you have a class of 30 kids and even if you did get full attendance that would be 2.5 hours on top of what is already probably a 7.5/8 hour day with a 15 minute break for lunch if you’re lucky. That’s assuming they all run to time which never happens! The teacher would not have time to call on the scheduled day.
We don’t know the teachers circumstances here either, I’ve worked with many teachers who are single parents and have had to put their own DC in childcare to attend parents evening. Lots of childcare facilities charge late fees for every 15 minutes after pick up time. This could be on the teacher’s mind and she will understandably be prioritising her own DC and be trying to minimise the chance of her being late. The fact is that we don’t know.

I understand that teachers are busy.
But I think that most people (including teachers) on this thread have agreed that the teacher should ideally get back to the parent with a quick update whether it be by phone call, email, quick chat at pickup. Whenever and whatever suits the teacher best.

Setting up a zoom is so easy for a F to F meeting. I think she's being very old-fashioned.

This.

YANBU
Schools need to accommodate different needs.
I asked for a phone appointment due to me having ME/CFS. School told me they would accommodate that but no phone call came 🤷‍♀️
I wish they would go back to virtual, much easier for so many reasons.

My school doesn't even have enough timeslots available for all parents to attend it's first-come first-served, so I wouldn't worry if you can't attend

Ask to speak with the teachers another time. One in one.

Or ignore the law that states I can only work so many directed hours per year? 🤔 Bit stuck now, aren’t we?

She already has 5 minutes allocated for parents evening. Those five minutes don't turn into more time because it's on the phone.

A five minute phone call would not take up another evening neither would an email. Note that she has already done a pointless email trying to set up an appointment when the OP has told her she can't do it.

If appointments run over that is on the school and/or teacher to sort out and does not mean the OP should be denied feedback on her child.

My GSs school did on line meetings during COVID, it was brilliant as there was a clock counting down your allocated time and when it was times up the call ended. Maybe schools could do that.

Yes. Many schools, including mine, have been doing that. And now we're back to face to face. Know why? Because the parents have pushed for it 🤦🏼‍♀️ I despair.

@TheignT
🙄 I have tried to explain the potential issues, you have either ignored these or refused to acknowledge them. If you really are that narrow minded and can’t understand why a teacher might want to put boundaries in place or how making exceptions for one parent might lead to others asking for the same thing and therefore extra UNPAID work then that’s your issue.
I’m pretty sure the teacher would prefer the Covid style online parents’ evening too but lots of schools got rid of that at the request of parents who demanded a return to face to face meetings!

You don't seem able or willing to understand that if the mother goes in for the appointment she can't do that the teacher has wasted time emailing about it will take 5 minutes. Why are you so determined that the 5 minutes face to face is fine but the 5 minutes on the phone or computer isn't.

It is perfectly reasonable possible and legally required to have different boundaries for a disabled person or carer.

Maybe school leaders need to grow some balls and set the policies for parents evenings and not let parents set them. They don't let parents decide everything so why is this different.

Maybe teachers should push back to SLT. If parents pushed for school starting at 11am would they get that? No of course they wouldn't.

I had a GC living with me through COVID and those online meetings, no standing round while Mr and Mrs fusspot spend half an hour and you are stood thinking do I miss my next 3 appointments or carryon waiting here? I think most of us have been in that situation.

Maybe teachers should push back to SLT. If parents pushed for school starting at 11am would they get that? No of course they wouldn't.

But school starting at 11am is nothing like parents evening.

Parents evenings are between parents and teachers (and not SLT or pupils).

And the needs of teachers are very often overlooked in schools.

Well my point was about overlooking needs of teachers and also for the parents who enjoyed missing the scrum of parents evening. SLT must have some involvement in how it's run.

The connection about how you do parents evening and school starting time is SLT are allowing some parents to dictate one but are extremely unlikely to let them dictate the other.

@TheignT

Quite simply you haven’t got a clue! Despite myself and others trying to explain why the teacher might have made this decision, you are refusing to accept it.
What part of what I am saying are you still struggling to understand?
When exactly is the teacher expected to make this phone call? It’s not going to happen on the scheduled parents’ evening so is going to involve the teacher giving up more of her free unpaid time on another day. She might have arranged childcare and would have to do this again for a second day.
The 5 minute phone call won’t be 5 minutes (they never are!) and as I’ve said several times now, once other parents hear that the teacher has made an exception for one then others will be requesting the same thing. If you’re refusing to accept that this is a very real possibility then I refuse to believe you’ve ever set foot in a primary school playground.
Why are you so against this teacher who is either protecting her own wellbeing or following the rules of her organisation?
Actually please don’t reply because you’ll just repeat the same nonsense again showing you clearly don’t have a clue!

Yes they do, because you can’t sit in the hall surrounded by hundreds of parents, children and staff, and make a phone call. You have to remain in the hall till the end of the show, then make the call in your own time. The call might well go beyond 5 minutes depending on the parent. She should ask for an email, which will give her all the information she needs and is easier to fit in.

Well you could allocate the first 5 minutes to her and make the call from the office. At the end of her time you politely say you have to go to your next appointment. Or even easier do it in the busy hall from your laptop and send the email. Of course she's already sent a pointless email and could have done it then

Yes and I bet if you make adjustments for a disabled child they will all demand that as well. All the teachers I know could manage that.

At the end of the day it is all irrelevant as the school has to make reasonable adjustments however much that annoys you or other parents.

Pointless answering you again as you are dead set on making sure this woman can't exercise her legal rights.

The first five minutes will be booked by another parent! You honestly have no idea! There are more children than time slots so it’s first come first served, and we don’t stop talking all evening. Next week I have 44 x 4 min slots for 150 Y7 pupils. I won’t be making 106 phone calls after the evening lol. 😂

The first five minutes will be booked by another parent! You honestly have no idea! There are more children than time slots so it’s first come first served, and we don’t stop talking all evening. Next week I have 44 x 4 min slots for 150 Y7 pupils. I won’t be making 106 phone calls after the evening lol. 😂

💯! I’m still trying to make a point on another comment that they keep arguing with. I’m out now!

@TicklishMintDuck I’ve just seen that! Absolutely batshit! There’s just no reasoning with some people! 🙄😂
I particularly love the ‘you can send an email from the hall at the start?’ WTF? Has she ever actually been to a parents’ evening? As if you can just ignore the big queue of parents who are waiting patiently while you send an email! FFS! 😂
I won’t engage with her again.