Parents evening MUST be face to face

[Twinkle786]

Hello everyone, i have 2 children in mainstream school years 3&4. School has gave out parents evening dates and i replied to both teachers requesting a telephone appointment because i am unable to attend a face to face appointment. My son’s teacher gave me a date and time for a phone call no problem. However my daughter’s teacher said quite abruptly - “no it has to face to face” I said “oh my sons teacher said its fine and will do it over the phone” and she said again very sternly “well Im doing as I'm told all appointments are face to face this year so no phone call” So i replied “well the appointment you have given me i will have to cancel then as i wont be able to attend” and she said “right well il be in touch to see when you can rearrange” End of conversation i left with my children.
I have 2 other children at home, one is a non verbal autistic 3 year old who has suspected adhd too (sleeps on average 5 hours in a 24hr period) Exhausting!! and a 11 year old who cannot and will not leave the house due to his disability. During school run pickup i have a friend that comes over to sit with them whilst i collect my other children as soon as im back she has to leave as she has work commitments, so already it is extremely rushed for me to get home asap.
I have explained this to my daughters teacher in a email which i replied to straight away when she emailed me with a different date and time again to see if i was available. I also stated that during school hours i would be able to attend as i can make arrangements during these hours for childcare. I have had no response. In the past i have attended all parents evenings as i was able to rely upon my mother and father to look after my children whilst i attended the appointments, but now both have sadly passed away so i dont have anybody else who can watch them after school hours. I don't understand why she is refusing to do a telephone appointment, this is really stressing me out and i don't want to be the talk of the staff room.
100% i know what my daughters teacher is going to say during parents evening as they say it every year- good as gold, model pupil always listens works hard never in trouble etc etc so its not as if there is any concerns with my daughter i have no doubt about that.. How am i meant to approach this little situation now any advice please.

Parent teacher meetings are part of the teachers job so the teacher should facilitate this.

What do you think parents evenings are for?

Have you not read the thread? The OP is unable to attend the meeting in the evening as she is a carer for her disabled child. She has politely asked the teacher to facilitate the meeting by phone call.

Yes, I have read the thread. The teacher has facilitated a meeting with parents by offering parents evening appointments. That the parent can’t make it doesn’t mean that the teacher is obliged to offer an alternative.

Teachers generally would go out of their way and do this because we are well-used to going above and beyond the call of duty, but it’s clear from the OP that the teacher has been told not to.

Take it up with the person who told them not to.

I am always sympathetic to teachers on here and in general but if spending 5 minutes writing an email about a well behaved child who is doing well is causing stress I'm amazed. Not sure how anyone can cope with teaching if that is the case.

Because it’s not ‘just one email’ is it? ‘Teachers can just….it’s easy’ is spiralling utterly out of control.

My dentist opened his surgery on boxing day and his wife came with him to act as his nurse when I left a message saying a molar had broken in two. I didn't expect him to just wanted to be seen as soon as they reopened.

It might not be needed by others and there might be concerns that can't be addressed with a quick email. In this case I think due to disability it is justified.

We know the other teacher in the school has said that he can do a phone call.

Having worked as a primary school teacher for years I absoutley think the teacher should facilitate this. I have been asked for a meeting by phone on a few occasions and was more than happy to do it. It absoutley did not lead to half the parents demanding phone calls, meetings taking up my lunch breaks or some of the other ridiculous things suggested here.

That doesn’t mean that the teacher hasn’t been told not to.

Everyone thinks their ‘teachers can just….’ is justified.

And now we don’t have anywhere near enough teachers and kids are going without.

Something needs to change.

I would make the phonecall, but then perhaps I am part of the problem.

This should be obvious, but it’s not the 5 mins. It’s the 5 mins on top of everything else. Nobody has said they are stressed by it anyway - just that there isn’t time (or need - if we removed all the unnecessary jobs teaching would be more manageable and there wouldn’t be a crisis in recruitment and retention).

"A quick paragraph manages to both meaningless and a point of stress for the teacher"

These are your own words.

Unfortunately we can't just pick and choose the parts of our jobs we enjoy.

Well it was said to be a point of stress. It's five minutes she'd have spent face to face with the OP so the time was allocated anyway.

For that matter if the child is well behaved and no issues she could have just said that instead of the debate about if she could do a phone call or even said it in the email she did send.

Absoutley, some people are really making a mountain out of a molehill here.

”point of stress” - a pinch point in the time available.
@AnxiousRose i said I wasn’t responding to you again, but since you are so fantastic at this stuff I think it’s best you become a teacher. Or maybe reflect that someone who was done the job for 35 years might, possibly, know more about it than you. Or that with a retention and recruitment crisis something is wrong somewhere.
Like @noblegiraffe id probably have made the call unless I’d been directly instructed not to (which does appear to be the case here, despite one teacher going against the instruction) but it should not be expected - it’s not a right.

Yes, I agree. There are plenty of things I got stressed about as a teacher but updating an clearly interested parent about their child (who has no issues) is not one of them.
I think good communication between teacher and parent/guardian is so important. As a parent I value all feedback from teachers.

I’ve looked again at the OP. The teacher is available on Parents’ Evening. She’s offered another face to face meeting. She’s been in contact with the OP. OP wants a time within the school day - but the teacher is teaching then. She could be covered, but that takes the teacher away from the rest of the class. The only other alternative is she gives up her break - the only time she has to pee or eat or to get on with things which might be necessary for the next class.
While I can see the OP is having a difficult time, the teacher isn’t being unreasonable.
@Twinkle786 can you clarify whether in the email about an appointment the teacher mentioned she had no concerns about your DC?

Reading through your posts, it does seem like you are being deliberately obtuse and difficult here @cardibach

Really @ByOliveSheep ?
Im just trying to explain why you can’t expect a teacher to provide endless opportunities at your convenience when they are already busy and leaving the profession in droves, not to be replaced. Sorry if that’s not a message you like.

@cardibach you spent the whole morning yesterday arguing that the teacher should in no way make the call.
Now you are saying that you would make the call.
Good that we have changed your mind and you can see that it's the obvious thing to do and the world won't end.

Thank you for the kind praise but I have no desire to be a teacher.

Nobody is asking for endless opportunities, so much exaggeration going on here.

Oh ffs. Arguing why a teacher shouldn’t have to make the call isn’t the same as saying nobody would. It’s the expectation I was arguing against. Bloody glad to be out of it I have to say. And I love actual teaching.

Well you were pretty certain about it yesterday. But we are all entitled to change our minds.