Parents evening MUST be face to face

[Twinkle786]

Hello everyone, i have 2 children in mainstream school years 3&4. School has gave out parents evening dates and i replied to both teachers requesting a telephone appointment because i am unable to attend a face to face appointment. My son’s teacher gave me a date and time for a phone call no problem. However my daughter’s teacher said quite abruptly - “no it has to face to face” I said “oh my sons teacher said its fine and will do it over the phone” and she said again very sternly “well Im doing as I'm told all appointments are face to face this year so no phone call” So i replied “well the appointment you have given me i will have to cancel then as i wont be able to attend” and she said “right well il be in touch to see when you can rearrange” End of conversation i left with my children.
I have 2 other children at home, one is a non verbal autistic 3 year old who has suspected adhd too (sleeps on average 5 hours in a 24hr period) Exhausting!! and a 11 year old who cannot and will not leave the house due to his disability. During school run pickup i have a friend that comes over to sit with them whilst i collect my other children as soon as im back she has to leave as she has work commitments, so already it is extremely rushed for me to get home asap.
I have explained this to my daughters teacher in a email which i replied to straight away when she emailed me with a different date and time again to see if i was available. I also stated that during school hours i would be able to attend as i can make arrangements during these hours for childcare. I have had no response. In the past i have attended all parents evenings as i was able to rely upon my mother and father to look after my children whilst i attended the appointments, but now both have sadly passed away so i dont have anybody else who can watch them after school hours. I don't understand why she is refusing to do a telephone appointment, this is really stressing me out and i don't want to be the talk of the staff room.
100% i know what my daughters teacher is going to say during parents evening as they say it every year- good as gold, model pupil always listens works hard never in trouble etc etc so its not as if there is any concerns with my daughter i have no doubt about that.. How am i meant to approach this little situation now any advice please.

Absolutely! Although that poster has a lot who agree with her with the tell on her dob her in posters!
Really is no wonder teachers are leaving! But hey, maybe all these posters will get their dream and there will be no school soon and everything will be back online for good!...

@cardibach Come on now, everyone knows teachers don’t work enough hours and have too many holidays. The minimum expected would be for her to set up a zoom meeting for one parent on a different day. Maybe even a Saturday or Sunday! 😂
Seriously though I wonder how many of these entitled parents would give up their own free time to do unpaid work! If you can’t make parents’ evening then that’s tough. It’s primary school FFS! If there were any issues then you’d have heard from the teacher by now anyway! Posts like this make me even more glad that I quit teaching!

Simply put because after school is about preparing the classroom for the next day. The teacher is probably already working longer than she's paid for. Parents evening is time that's been set aside to see parents, and in ten minute slots, with some parents taking longer anyway, there won't be time for the teacher to go to the office to make a call. Put bluntly, what you've asked will probably eat into the teacher's personal unpaid time. If you want to see her, you need to make yourself available in her work time.

I would leave the ball in the teachers court.

Haven't read the entire thread so this might have been suggested - when you agree a time for the phone call with your son's teacher, you could suggest to your son's teacher that they make DDs teacher aware of the timings and IF DDs teacher is available at that time they could talk to you afterwards.

I rarely went to parents evening. My DS found school very tricky so I had frequent conversations with the teacher after school. I would say to the teacher each year "do I need to attend - is there anything left to say?" and they would say "not really".

You might like to recheck that. Its not what I said.

I said a teacher who is not able to write a very brief email within the space of 5 minutes is not very capable.

Hi OP,

Katie is doing great in class. Her maths and English reading have improved this year. She participates well in class and is kind to all her classmates. She has a lovely group of friends and always offers to help when I ask for volunteers.

Kind regards, teacher

This took me less than 2 minutes to type and I am not a fast typer

Maybe because parents care about their child's education and this is a ONCE a YEAR opportunity to hear from their child's teacher about their progress.

Nobody is asking for a zoom meeting every evening and at weekends 😂

Clearly OP you've got a lot on your plate that you're trying to juggle. You've asked for a phone call about how the kids are doing so it's clear it's not a case of you just not caring. I would just not worry about it now, you know your dd is fine.

If she contacts you to rearrange I would just explain you have two disabled children at home which unfortunately make face to face meetings impossible and leave the ball in her court as to where to go from there. If the teacher is able to contact you to arrange another appointment by email or phone though then I don't see why she couldn't just tell you then that your dd is doing fine.

Well done you can make up a fictional email in 2 minutes. If it needed to be accurate and reference data it might have taken a little bit longer to get that information though.

But the teacher should already have the info prepped for the meeting.

All I am reading here from posters are a lot of excuses and exaggerations.

So you’re agreeing that it takes longer than 5 minutes to dash off an email to a parent reporting on their child’s progress? Right.

Is it very telling for the parent that she can’t be slightly flexible and attend? Or is it possible they are both busy and if it can’t happen, it can’t happen? Anything written in 5 mins would be largely meaningless and therefore a waste of time. There are no issues. Why does anyone need to know any more than that?

There. Is. No. Time. Slot. Allocated. To. Her. Child.
She’s not going. No slot will be allocated. All slots will be full because no parents evening could accommodate 100% attendance without being far ,9nger than the time budget can support.

So if she goes to the meeting the teacher will not be able to see her?

It’s not about being willing. You are determined that the teacher is unreasonably hostile/lazy/whatever. It’s about this being the time allocated in a very, very busy and time consuming job and then half the parents wanting it at another time/in a email because it doesn’t suit. OP has a very difficult situation, but she won’t be the only one asking this.

And it’s utterly meaningless. No new info. No point at all.

Then go to parents evening. It’s a ONCE a YEAR opportunity both ways. I appreciate the OP has some difficulties, but she isn’t the only parent who does and some want alternatives for no reason. Maybe the teacher has similar difficulties with child care herself. Who knows?
I taught for 35 years. I think parents’ evening was helpful in any way at all on a handful occasions. It’s usually a waste of time. The report has all the data. If there are concerns about behaviour or progress the school will be in touch anyway.

It is not meaningless to a parent who is interested in their child's education.

If she goes with no appointment, then she shouldn’t be seen, no. Can you turn up at your doctor without an appointment and waltz in? Parents’ Evening slots are timetabled based on who says they are coming. Some parents do turn up without though, and teachers will very often squeeze them in to avoid having that confrontation - by either adding to their hours or reducing time spent with parents who actually made the appointment.

What does it tell t(em about their child’s education? It’s not backed up with data. It’s meaningless.

Well then, she can make the appointment and during that appointment time the teacher can send her an emailed update. Easy!

"I will be raising this with the school governors as a discrimination issue as communicating the information by telephone is a perfectly reasonable adjustment which I have to ask for due to the additional needs of my family based on a number of Protected Characteristics so your refusal to accommodate such an easy adjustment is a breach of the Equalities Act"

(The protected characteristics being disability and carer status)

You really have no idea. I hope you aren’t so dishonest with your children’s teachers. OP needn’t worry that teachers will think badly of her for not go8ng when she’s clearly engaged. They would think badly of someone making an appointment they don’t intend to keep. Did you miss the but where there aren’t slots for everyone? There physically isn’t the time?
Im not engaging with you again. I’m so glad I’ve left education (after 35 very successful years) when parents are mor3 and more becoming like this.

I don't live on the UK but I know where I am there is a slot available for every parent/s ( at primary school). My kids haven't reached secondary school age yet. I know they are very well attended by parents.
I know it can be a long day for teachers but it is so important to have a positive relationship between school and home.

Teachers are so utterly fed up of being told ‘teachers can just….’ when there are huge issues with teachers leaving the profession due to stress and overwork.

Nobody is lying to the teacher. She has already told the teacher she is unable to attend so the teacher can use the appointment time to send the email. She has made the teacher aware she cannot attend. I have explained this to you.
I feel you are being deliberately beligerant.