Parents evening MUST be face to face

[Twinkle786]

Hello everyone, i have 2 children in mainstream school years 3&4. School has gave out parents evening dates and i replied to both teachers requesting a telephone appointment because i am unable to attend a face to face appointment. My son’s teacher gave me a date and time for a phone call no problem. However my daughter’s teacher said quite abruptly - “no it has to face to face” I said “oh my sons teacher said its fine and will do it over the phone” and she said again very sternly “well Im doing as I'm told all appointments are face to face this year so no phone call” So i replied “well the appointment you have given me i will have to cancel then as i wont be able to attend” and she said “right well il be in touch to see when you can rearrange” End of conversation i left with my children.
I have 2 other children at home, one is a non verbal autistic 3 year old who has suspected adhd too (sleeps on average 5 hours in a 24hr period) Exhausting!! and a 11 year old who cannot and will not leave the house due to his disability. During school run pickup i have a friend that comes over to sit with them whilst i collect my other children as soon as im back she has to leave as she has work commitments, so already it is extremely rushed for me to get home asap.
I have explained this to my daughters teacher in a email which i replied to straight away when she emailed me with a different date and time again to see if i was available. I also stated that during school hours i would be able to attend as i can make arrangements during these hours for childcare. I have had no response. In the past i have attended all parents evenings as i was able to rely upon my mother and father to look after my children whilst i attended the appointments, but now both have sadly passed away so i dont have anybody else who can watch them after school hours. I don't understand why she is refusing to do a telephone appointment, this is really stressing me out and i don't want to be the talk of the staff room.
100% i know what my daughters teacher is going to say during parents evening as they say it every year- good as gold, model pupil always listens works hard never in trouble etc etc so its not as if there is any concerns with my daughter i have no doubt about that.. How am i meant to approach this little situation now any advice please.

You don’t have to go at all. No-one will care, esp as you’re clearly engaged and have tried…

I miss virtual parents evenings, they were so much easier! My pref would be virtual parents evenings with actual timeslots, and then an annual evening when you can go in at any time and have a look round the school, look at books, etc, but without appointments.

They are still online only at my daughter’s secondary school. You get 5 min and then the video call automatically ends.

I prefer the virtual meetings too. Although at least at my kids school we do book a time slot for in person meetings and teachers do stick to the times ( they have a timer which goes off at the end of your slot)

I wonder if the teacher has been stung before. I had so many parents not turn up then expecting phone calls in my lunch break. It also means she may have sorted child care for a late night then will be sat twiddling her thumbs while 8 parents want another hour and a half of her time scattered througjout the following week.

Same applies. 30 children x5 mins = 2.5 hours. Plus the swap over time. The system assumes not all parents will come. OP doesn’t need to as there are no issues.

The teacher can only be required to do so many hours directed time. The directed time for parents evening will have been counted in, the headteacher is not able to make her do extra.

Or teacher could spend the 5 minutes allocated for this child to send an email or make a phone call to the parent.
Or teacher can choose not to. Very telling about the teacher.

There isn’t a 5 minutes. The timing relies on some parents not being there. All it tells us about t(e teacher is that she’s busy. No wonder, as I said, there’s a retention crisis when some parents expect teachers to be both available for personal meetings and able to write a quick report (that’s not a thing, but the way - writing a brief report is way more than a 5 minute activity) if they can’t make the set aside time. Even when there are no issues.

Why can’t the teacher just hop on a zoom meeting? We get to pick, in-person or zoom.

When? She’ll spend the 2 hours of parents evening in face to face meetings.

The OP has asked the teacher in advance, not left her twiddling her thumbs on parents evening.

Not relevant here, but I can't 'hop on zoom meetings' at work as my work computer doesn't have a camera or microphone.

Serious lack of common sense here.

We are all busy.
The teacher is not very capable if they cannot write a very brief update about the child in 5 minutes, especially when there are no issues. The parent is not asking for an end of term report.

These meetings happen ONCE per YEAR so yes it is very telling about the teacher that she cannot be slightly flexible for a parent who cannot attend the meeting as she is caring for a child with a disability.

During the time slot allocated to that child.

At my kids school parents book their time slot online. At the start of the meeting the teacher sets their timer and when the timer goes off the parent/s leave. Works very well. There is a slot available for every parent to book.

Jeez. I despair. Let's just teacher bash some more shall we (then moan that there are no decent teachers because they've all left the profession 🙄).

Whoah - every teacher writes a few pages about every child?! I work at a very expensive private school which prides itself on reporting and even ours are only a paragraph or so from each teacher about each child! Mind blown. 🤯

It will take her more than 5 minutes to leave the classroom walk to the office. Look up the phone number, call the parents, discuss the child's progress and walk back to the classroom

Yep - that's me. Costs me £50 every parents' evening and THEN I have to stay late the next day ad well to make phone calls and/or email parents who didn't turn up.

OP, I'm not saying this shouldn't be offered for you- you have a very difficult home situation and I'd be sympathetic - but SO many parents decide parents' evening is inconvenient for them and expect special treatment.

That is why an email has been suggested if the teacher is not willing to take the extra few minutes it might take to call this parent.

Lots of reasons. One teacher might have childcare to arrange for their own DC or other commitments. The other teacher might be on a temporary contract and trying to impress to become permanent. Who knows?

I have said earlier in this thread that the teachers I have encountered have been wonderful.

The OP is clearly an interested parent who would like a quick update about how her child is doing in school. Due to her disabled child she is unable to attend the meeting in person at the allocated time. She has asked the teacher in advance if an alternative could be arranged eg a phone call. The teacher of her other child has agreed to this no problem.

Yep and you've said she's incompetent 🤦🏼‍♀️

Yep. I used to work in a supermarket and this other guy would always stay and work for free for 15 mins or so after his shift ended. Did this mean I should too? Hell no!

@Worriedmotheroftwo this is my son's end of year report - so there's a paragraph for every subject. Attainment figures, which is both how well they are doing and how hard they try. Attendance figures for each term , a paragraph overview from teacher and head teacher . Details for next years teacher/school year.

Mainstream primary school. I assumed that was the norm.