Struggling with son's girlfriends personality

[Bluebrownies]

Hi all, so my son is 23, in August he set off to go travelling, he met a girl on the trip and they are now dating. He came home last Monday, just for 3 weeks, then they are going to her parents for 3 weeks before setting off around Europe. We live in London so they are staying with us which is great as we missed him a lot, plus they are keeping themselves busy with museums/theatre etc.
She lives abroad and a lot more rural so that will be a nice change of pace for them when they stop with her family.
The issue is I'm really struggling with his girlfriend's personality, she is respectful but I find her quite "a lot". She is very confident, I thought it might be a front as she was nervous but I'm now thinking she is just naturally very self-assured. Obviously there is nothing wrong with confidence but I've also found her to be very judgemental, she has said multiple times that brits are all so fat (as someone with a higher BMI I feel like this is targeted) and she has said several times British girls are ugly, in front of my impressionable teen girls (13 and 16). She usually follows with "not you guys but generally". I also feel like she is just overly opinionated in general, be it the food I cook, what I'm drinking etc. she has something to say about everything.
We also seem to be having a massive PDA issue, I know this is my son too but he has never been like this before, I feel like they are always touching in some way, she constantly plays with his hair or his hands, they kiss all the time, be it pecks or longer kisses it seems to be every 5 minutes, we went out to the pub for rugby on Saturday and despite their being plenty of seats she insisted on sitting on his lap, even feeding him food off her plate like he was a toddler. It all just makes me little uncomfortable, nothing against hand holding, odd kiss here and there but it's relentless, even when I'm trying to talk to them.
There are other things I dislike but I know aren't really any of my business (her dress sense is very revealing for one).

I'm finding it quite draining as obviously she is always with my son and I don't enjoy her presence so I almost avoid them both. I was so looking forward to having him home but now I'm looking forward to them going). My husband thinks it's just cultural and I will learn to love her but AIBU to feel like this because of these things?

Said about British girls in front of 2 British girls.

Would it be ok for an English person to tell for example a South American child that all South Americans stink?

Also @SuperTrooper14 whilst everyone is entitled to an opinion NOBODY is entitled to voice it

You can do that???? It's that easy???? 😮😮

falls on floor in dead faint

Nasty opinions about the people hating her. Yea that is a crime of bad manners in my book

This thread show just how much value some people put on women based only on their appearance. Very sad.

Why are there so many fat british people though? Her delivery was unkind, particularly describing British people as ugly but the fat part is surely factual? We have no excuse for not eating better, we are fatter than countries who are poorer than us. There's no excuse other than laziness and a reliance on processed food. You can often tell who the British tourists are when travelling abroad.

😂😂

Imagine being so ashamed on something out of control like where you were born that leads you to exaggerated self deprication.

Thwres a lot to be proud of being British, rightly or wrongly we may not have the best food but we’ve been leading in fashion, innovation, human rights, manners, heritage….and the best Royal Family too!

Nahhhh, she needs to go. I would not be tolerating that rudeness.

This threads getting nasty now. Feels like an excuse to say shitty, nasty, hurtful things under the guise of being honest and direct

'A superior person'??

Jesus Christ, what is the matter with you?!

But she isn't 5

She's offered a genuine apology and been thoughtful with the gifts. I think it's all been blown out of proportion, I'd write a little card to give her before she leaves. Just highlighting that you're happy your son has found someone who makes him so happy and treats him well. That you appreciate her going out of her way to put things right, and hoping that it doesn't put her off visiting again as you'd love to have her back.

She could very well end up marrying your son, so don't burn bridges.

Ps - she's right. Sauce in a jar is full of crap.

Oh well she gets a cookie then for only being a dick about how people look 🙄

I'm really glad for this update. I think she's a good egg and is experiencing culture shock. Please give her more grace going forward - she's young and expressing herself in a different language. Please also try to be less offended by things - and try see the humour in her comments and/or respond non-judgementally (and in the moment when the comment is said rather than awkward interventions/discussions later on).

If you're genuinely open minded, she sounds like the kind of daughter in law you could develop a great relationship with. She's honest, open and self-reflective - all fantastic character traits.

Yes I probably would have let that go and snogged DH in front of them to make a point.

Also I think there’s a lot of weight in “Don’t ask question to you don’t to hear the answers to” but it doesn’t excuse the girl’s rudeness

Me too! I see a lot of smart people round these parts and lots of effort put into appearances. Our school run is like a catwalk sometimes!

Because it’s true. OP’s DS and DH are letting rudeness and manners slide - why? Is the fact she is attractive and wears revealing clothes just a coincidence?

Exactly. Some of the biggest dickheads I know are conventionally beautiful. A shame so many people are so shallow

Her own husband also accused her of being jealous of this girls appearance. Says a lot really

Alls well that ends well! Pleased their collective tantrum is over.

Maybe read the post I am REPLYING to and take my answer into the right context?

it's not me who started talking about "superior person".

HTH

Personally I don’t make friends with people because they’re pretty, I make friends with people because they’re nice/funny etc. I also don’t see attractiveness as the only marker of self pride.

I guess some people just have superior minds in being able to look past appearances 🤷‍♀️

The chances are that in the not-too-distant future, your son will be very embarrassed and she will be nothing but an amusing anecdote for a while 😅. I know other posters are saying to call out her rudeness but I think that can be really hard to do sometimes. Just rest safe in the knowledge that she'll be out of your house soon and that you are most certainly not being unreasonable! It's a shame that you're having to minimise time spent with your son though, that seems unfair.

It's not rude to give your opinion if you're asked for it. However, constantly sharing negative opinions is wearing. Maybe it's cultural but if she wants to be welcome in your home she sounds intelligent enough to learn how to read the room. Constantly harping on with the same criticisms is the behaviour of someone much older usually, in the UK.

What I mean is my relatives will talk about the woman down the road who is a tramp because she sleeps with men outside of marriage or a relative who got pregnant out of wedlock of laugh about a man they know who loves to grab bottoms and can’t help himself.

Would it be ok if I started saying how gross Italian men and how much everyone hated women?