To think being single should be celebrated more than getting married?

[BeChicMember]

Marriage gets all the glory, but choosing to focus on yourself or remain single is just as valid, if not braver.

Way to prove the point...they're not victims. And if from my post you got "men can't help themselves" fuck knows where, because nothing of the sort was said or implied.

Your notion that all single mothers are victims of terrible men but also shining heroes is as nauseating as it is patronising.

Her literal point was about celebrating a marriage....you do that with a party (wedding).

And why should we appreciate or applaud anyone's decisions?

Being single is just being single. You’ve not done anything to be single apart from just be single. You’ve not made a commitment, lived another year, promised yourself to god, been just born

Lol like you have to do anything to be born, live another year, make a commitment or be christened.

No her literal point was celebrating being single and you don’t do that with a party. Just a bit of validation will do.

Validation for what? Congratulations for... continuing to exist and not doing something that's quite common?

I think there's some serious misunderstanding about what celebrating marriage is all about here.

This is just daft. We "celebrate marriage" when people throw weddings and invite people. It's an event. Just like if you decide to have a birthday party. It's not like we go round constantly congratulating people on their married status forever more, or tell them they're doing so much better than all those single people.

Validation for having making a perfectly fine life choice rather than the whole “life revolves around marriage (particularly if you’re a woman)” attitude.

Wasn’t there a study that found the happiest people are single women and married men?

There's your problem. Nobody has that attitude. Why do you imagine anyone cares if you're married or single or anything in-between?

Also, being single is often not a choice at all.

I’m a woman. Lots of people make issue of whether I’m married or not, believe me.

But since your keen to push the idea no-one could be single through choice I guess youre not one of them 🤣

Appreciation? In what form? From whom?
Why is anyone obligated to “appreciate” someone else just going about their life? It’s really baffling.

Please see my replies to HipMax

Are you blind or just wilfully obtuse? Where could you possibly have got the idea I think noone could be single through choice?

Whilst I think removing single is a perfectly valid decision, I think from a societal perspective there are many benefits to marriage. Studies show that it is particularly important when raising children for a variety of reasons. The financial benefits of marriage, especially when you have children, are very important and can enable families to make decisions that will benefit the family unit knowing that the individual parents within the unit have some financial protection. This is especially true if the family feel it's better to have a SAHP, a parent that works PT to facilitate family life or just someone that takes their foot off the gas slightly in their career so that they can be around more for the children at critical times. It is absolutely fair that this burden should be shared from a financial perspective.

I also think you are statistically less likely to be such a financial burden to the state of you get ill or when you get old if you're married. I know of lots of couples where one person effectively cares for the other which effectively means someone can cope for longer without state funded care. Sometimes it's just low level but essential stuff that is relatively easy for the partner to provide but would be a big burden on the state if you needed external parties to do it.

From your posts.

No one has a huge celebration day / days for being single though do they …

So what if you’re single, why should others care? A marriage is an event, a union between two people and an important commitment. It’s a partnership embedded in law. that’s why it gets celebrated.

What’s next? A big celebration for having brown eyes? Or wearing trousers??

You must have imagined some extra ones that aren't there, I said nothing of the sort.

Perhaps you're confused by" being single is often not a choice"...which by definition means it is sometimes a choice.

How you then leapt to me supposedly saying "nobody could ever be single by choice" is unclear. Perhaps read what is written and not whatever you dream up to support your narrative.

No it’s really not.

who are the many people you know of that make a choice to stay single. I bet you don’t even know one person.

YABU, this makes no sense. Single is the default until someone gets into a relationship and gets married. A wedding is a big thing for a lot of people. What sort of celebration would you have in mind for someone who stays single? Do they have a party every few months, or what?

Perhaps you're confused by" being single is often not a choice"...which by definition means it is sometimes a choice

So why mention it as a rebuttal to the idea we shouldn’t celebrate being single? It’s like me saying “oh don’t celebrate marriages, some marriages are shit”

So what is the point when singleness is declared? 20? 25? 35? A party every year?

I can get behind the idea of a Just Divorced party though.

Oh for goodness sake, the celebration isn't about marriage being 'valid' (whatever you mean by that catch-all term) or 'brave', Its just part of human culture to celebrate milestone events in people lives.

So stop being ridiculous.

What is your next post going to be 'aibu to say that being alive should be celebrated more than being dead? Funerals get all the glory but choosing to remain alive is just as valid, if not braver.'

We’re back at with the party’s I see 😂

Hello, just so you are aware we suspect this one was started by a previously banned poster who will not be coming back. However we are going to let it run as it has gained some traction.
MNHQ