To think being single should be celebrated more than getting married?

[BeChicMember]

Marriage gets all the glory, but choosing to focus on yourself or remain single is just as valid, if not braver.

No being poor or from a crap area is not a great thing.
It's a disadvantage.

Yes some poor people or people from deprived areas do well but statiscally it's a disadvantage.

Just like single parenthood.

It may be rude but it's true.

I am a single parent, not through choice, and sadly it IS a disadvantage, statistically speaking.

More to take pride in it - so many people talking about broken families and I'm really resenting it

Take pride in doing a great job in less than ideal circumstances.

No need to pretend the circumstance itself is a great thing when it isn't.

You can take a personal pride in it if you want. You can’t force other people to have the same opinion, and certainly not through the medium of an advert for toiletries 🤷🏻‍♀️

Why does everything have to be a contest?

Im refusing to accept it

Being black is a statistical disadvantage - i dare anyone to try and look down on someone for being black. As a result of people trying, we have fantastic campaigns and celebrations.

Being gay means you're more likely to face discrimination and more at risk of illness from sex - i would argue against anyone who tried to make a gay person feel bad for *being gay, it's something to be rightly celebrated, and we do yearly - me and dd love going to pride

Being a single mum may have its statistics but single mums don't deserve the bashing and stigma they face. I'd love for a celebration of all of the contributions to society made by single mums

To elaborate on my previously poorly written comment

I'm starting to think all celebrations should be cancelled because there is always another group giving out that they aren't celebrated! Soon enough every day of the year will be a different celebration.

What do single mum’s contribute to society solely by virtue of being single Mums?

@mumofoneAlonebutokay I bet you are a wonderful mum doing a great job and I hope you are celebrated by those who know you including your child as they grow.

Most of us are parenting in less than ideal circumstances in differing ways, as that is life.

I'm only being blunt because I don't think it's good to pretend something is good for children when it's not, it's not a personal attack on yours or anyone else's parenting.

Single mums have taken over ops just being single thing.

So no op you can’t have a single celebration day. Single mummies will be coming after you 🤷🏻‍♀️🤣

I think being single should be valued as much as being married/partnered. There is far too much emphasis on romantic relationships and 'finding someone' and little acknowledgement that being single can be a positive choice.
That said, I don't begrudge people who do get married a celebration.

Nooo of course, being single is something to be celebrated too, agreed with op

I think its taken a personal turn, didn't mean to derail the thread!

🥰 thank you for saying i sound like a good mum - I'm sure you are too, and sometimes people don't always get what they want in terms of how they parent

Sometimes that isn't a terrible thing though, imo x

It would be far better if being a non-resident parents who doesn't support their kids financially/emotionally became socially unacceptable. Coupled with enforced payments and effective penalties for trying to avoid payments, this would be really supportive of single parents.

Well I'm planning on throwing a 'Becoming Single' party once the house is sold and ExP and I can finally go our separate ways 😎

Living with a man is much braver though as you're far more likely to be hurt or murdered by them.

Choosing not to ignore that and settle should be celebrated but married women don't like being told they settled.

The whole idea is weird tbh. Weddings are a celebration of a milestone, two people starting a new life together and making a commitment. It's about love and companionship, it's natural to celebrate that as social creatures.

Being single is absolutely fine and "valid" (how I loathe the crass overuse of that term) but it's difficult to see how it is comparable in terms of generating something for others to mark with a celebration. If you want to have a party, have one

@mumofoneAlonebutokay I get where you’re coming from as a former single mum but in this day and age anyone who judges single parents is a twat. Isn’t it just easier and cheaper to repeat that in your head?

But that’s ok op. As a pp said, people who are getting married throw the party and invite their friends and family to celebrate.

so do the same. The issue is for many people being single isn’t a choice. It’s due to a bad relationship ending, or not able to find a good partner, it is seldom well I could be with this great person and get married, but I will chose to be single.

That’s exactly what someone unable to find someone willing to marry them will say 😂

"Choosing to focus on yourself"

😂😂 My God, what a hero you are

As others said, the people getting married organise the celebration (or don't for some that elope). You choose what you celebrate. You can't make other people celebrate it.

Not everyone has their choice to get married celebrated or any 'glory'. I was openly mocked, got asked if I was pregnant or having immigration trouble, about 5 years after I got married, I had a family member apologise to me because they had thought very poorly of our decision & had held a very poor opinion of me for a time because of it. I've had it more than once said to me that my marriage was to get British citizenship or benefits... I think it would be very easy to be celebrated more than that.

While that may sound extreme, it's really not that unusual for people to talk poorly behind the backs of people getting married - they may be at the party, but they aren't really celebrating it. That kind of thing can't be forced and really, other people celebrating it doesn't really matter.

being married is also a state of being which at any point may or may not continue… you could have a big wedding at age 30 and then find yourself separated at age 31. Look at the relationships forum, women posting every day about how they were happily married until they saw his phone, tried to contact him at work, saw the bank statement etc. By your logic, why celebrate weddings at all, at statistically there’s a good chance the marriage won’t last?

You celebrate the change in status, otherwise you have to celebrate every day.

Moving to a married status is an event a change in your status and public position.

How do you celebrate being single when you were also single yesterday/ last week last year?

You can celebrate becoming single through divorce if that's your thing and people do. (Sadly imo.)

You could celebrate the anniversary each year of becoming single I suppose.

But celebrating being single would be like throwing a house warming party for a house you've lived in for 5 years.

Moving house is an event. Still living in a house isn't.