Page 9 | I wasn't invited to my coworker's house warming party

user1471867483 · 2025-02-10T09:27:58+00:00

Everyone in my office was invited except me. I live 30 miles away so really I couldn't have made it, but I would've bought him a house warming gift. He said he'd invite me, but I only knew he had the party just this weekend as everyone in the office is talking about it now and I can't join in as in the end I wasn't invited. I feel so embarrassed. He has the day off today. I feel rejected and left out. Am I being too sensitive? The others live nearer him (so maybe they could have made it there better than me) and one lives far away from him like I do, but he still he got invited 🤔

Wobblemonster · 18/02/2025 09:39

This would be considered workplace bullying in my organisation. Excluding one person from things taking place in the office is an absolute no-no.

LaundryPond · 18/02/2025 09:43

user1471867483 · 18/02/2025 09:27

Could be. I'm exactly what you say - a single, white female and blonde! But then another woman was invited from another office and she's not married 🤔

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OP, you seem absolutely fixated on the guest list, to the point of registering the marital status and nationality of those invited. Your colleague for some reason changed his mind about inviting you to his party. You don’t particularly like him, and weren’t going to go. Surely that’s all it needs to be, not that he’s suddenly a diabolical person?

RampantIvy · 18/02/2025 09:46

LaundryPond · 18/02/2025 09:43

OP, you seem absolutely fixated on the guest list, to the point of registering the marital status and nationality of those invited. Your colleague for some reason changed his mind about inviting you to his party. You don’t particularly like him, and weren’t going to go. Surely that’s all it needs to be, not that he’s suddenly a diabolical person?

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Have you even read the OP's recent updates?

He is deliberately excluding her.

Original poster

user1471867483 · 18/02/2025 09:47

LaundryPond · 18/02/2025 09:43

OP, you seem absolutely fixated on the guest list, to the point of registering the marital status and nationality of those invited. Your colleague for some reason changed his mind about inviting you to his party. You don’t particularly like him, and weren’t going to go. Surely that’s all it needs to be, not that he’s suddenly a diabolical person?

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I don't know. I'm just answering/commenting what's put to me on here 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:

MissDoubleU · 18/02/2025 09:52

RampantIvy · 18/02/2025 09:46

Have you even read the OP's recent updates?

He is deliberately excluding her.

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Did he..? Or maybe he hasn’t offered her one of his sweets today because, as she already said, she’s not being nice to him any longer.

There’s definitely two sides to this and OP is positively fixated on this party issue. She could approach this man and gently ask if he has a problem with her, but she is instead settling for assumptions about being too blonde and intimidating.

ifionlyhadacat · 18/02/2025 09:55

I don't know if someone has already suggested this as I've only dipped in and out of the thread, OP, but I get the feeling that he may be keen on you and as he knows you are not interested, is deliberately "negging" you in a very childish way?

Original poster

user1471867483 · 18/02/2025 09:56

ifionlyhadacat · 18/02/2025 09:55

I don't know if someone has already suggested this as I've only dipped in and out of the thread, OP, but I get the feeling that he may be keen on you and as he knows you are not interested, is deliberately "negging" you in a very childish way?

Oh gosh. God forbid it 😮🤦‍♀️

OP posts:

LaundryPond · 18/02/2025 09:59

RampantIvy · 18/02/2025 09:46

Have you even read the OP's recent updates?

He is deliberately excluding her.

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He didn’t invite her to his housewarming that she wasn’t planning to go to, and he didn’t offer her an Indian sweet. I think that’s hardly some kind of HR-worthy campaign of ‘exclusion’.

He also brought in chocolates the day he returned to work which he apparently left in a central position for anyone who wanted them. He’s not to know the OP is so desperately resenting the lack of invitation to a distant housewarming she was never planning to attend, and regretting her daily donation of a Metro and her phone help.

MikeRafone · 18/02/2025 10:13

Although this wasn't at work, to invite all your colleagues and leave one person out - its bullying

You are not being oversensitive

what happened is not appropriate as they have ostracising you.

Ohnobackagain · 18/02/2025 10:13

user1471867483 · 12/02/2025 09:14

Just an update. He came in just now with a box of chocs for everyone and placed them on the centre desk. I asked him what was the occasion. He said it's from his home warming on the weekend. I said, "I wasn't invited and I was the only one who wasn't". He laughed and he said, "I know. Sorry, but you wouldn't have probably liked the food anyway". Not nice. I just left it there 🤔.

That was your opportunity then - when he said “I know” did you not say “why?”

Original poster

user1471867483 · 18/02/2025 10:16

Ohnobackagain · 18/02/2025 10:13

That was your opportunity then - when he said “I know” did you not say “why?”

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He gave his reason in the second to last sentence, so I didn't need to ask? 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:

Maddy70 · 18/02/2025 10:16

user1471867483 · 18/02/2025 09:37

He gave out the invites physically. It wasn't word of mouth.

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At this point you say. Hey where's mine you invited me last week...

LaundryPond · 18/02/2025 10:18

MikeRafone · 18/02/2025 10:13

Although this wasn't at work, to invite all your colleagues and leave one person out - its bullying

You are not being oversensitive

what happened is not appropriate as they have ostracising you.

It’s really not. Not a work event. Everyone is free to socialise or not socialise with their colleagues in their own homes out of work time.

Some people on here are still living in the days of the early years of primary school ‘whole class/or all girls/ boys’ party ‘rules’.

Ohnobackagain · 18/02/2025 10:19

@user1471867483 I know he added the bit about you probably not liking the food, but that was more of a comment. You could have said ‘that’s for me to decide’. To be honest, as you said he picks his nose and smells you had a lucky escape. Try to put it out of your mind.

Maddy70 · 18/02/2025 10:20

I,ve sussed it. He was going to invite you and he's overheard a comment you've made about Indian food. That's why he added "you wouldn't like the food anyway". You've either said something derogatory about Indian food , or culture or something even if innocently that he's taken offence to

LaundryPond · 18/02/2025 10:20

user1471867483 · 18/02/2025 10:16

He gave his reason in the second to last sentence, so I didn't need to ask? 🤷‍♀️

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Surely that’s when you say ‘But I love Indian food!’? If you do in fact love Indian food despite your cholesterol.

Original poster

user1471867483 · 18/02/2025 10:28

Maddy70 · 18/02/2025 10:16

At this point you say. Hey where's mine you invited me last week...

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Oh gosh. They were handed out when I wasn't present.

OP posts:

MissDoubleU · 18/02/2025 10:32

user1471867483 · 18/02/2025 10:28

Oh gosh. They were handed out when I wasn't present.

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and you don’t think that might have had something to do with it..? Or this information might have been useful, what, a week ago when myself and numerous other people were asking if physical invites were involved (or if it were invite by text etc…) and you point blank ignored every post requesting these important details?

Original poster

user1471867483 · 18/02/2025 10:35

MikeRafone · 18/02/2025 10:13

Although this wasn't at work, to invite all your colleagues and leave one person out - its bullying

You are not being oversensitive

what happened is not appropriate as they have ostracising you.

Absolutely.

OP posts:

RampantIvy · 18/02/2025 10:37

LaundryPond · 18/02/2025 10:18

It’s really not. Not a work event. Everyone is free to socialise or not socialise with their colleagues in their own homes out of work time.

Some people on here are still living in the days of the early years of primary school ‘whole class/or all girls/ boys’ party ‘rules’.

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He seems to lack the social awareness not to be blatant about it, as do you.

wizzywig · 18/02/2025 10:40

Has he said anything about you not giving him the newspaper?

Original poster

user1471867483 · 18/02/2025 10:51

wizzywig · 18/02/2025 10:40

Has he said anything about you not giving him the newspaper?

Nope. I've just left a whole pile of them on the centre desk.

OP posts:

MissDoubleU · 18/02/2025 10:51

I would go so far as to suggest maybe he thinks you were interested in him. Regardless of how “gross” you say you find him, what if he didn’t invite you because he didn’t want to give you the impression? Or encourage what he assumes is already a crush? You did bring him a paper every day.

saying “ah, you’re a good soul” sounds like a man trying to say something nice without complimenting you exactly. Keeping his distance.

Original poster

user1471867483 · 18/02/2025 10:56

MissDoubleU · 18/02/2025 10:51

I would go so far as to suggest maybe he thinks you were interested in him. Regardless of how “gross” you say you find him, what if he didn’t invite you because he didn’t want to give you the impression? Or encourage what he assumes is already a crush? You did bring him a paper every day.

saying “ah, you’re a good soul” sounds like a man trying to say something nice without complimenting you exactly. Keeping his distance.

Good point, except I bring the paper in for four others too.

OP posts:

MissDoubleU · 18/02/2025 11:06

And you haven’t considered just that.. you weren’t there when he handed out invites. He then didn’t consider the party/the invites again, quite unaware you hadn’t got yours? He then didn’t want to say “sorry I overlooked you” so made an excuse with the food.