I wasn't invited to my coworker's house warming party

[user1471867483]

Everyone in my office was invited except me. I live 30 miles away so really I couldn't have made it, but I would've bought him a house warming gift. He said he'd invite me, but I only knew he had the party just this weekend as everyone in the office is talking about it now and I can't join in as in the end I wasn't invited. I feel so embarrassed. He has the day off today. I feel rejected and left out. Am I being too sensitive? The others live nearer him (so maybe they could have made it there better than me) and one lives far away from him like I do, but he still he got invited 🤔

Have you commented on the food he eats?

That's what I'm doing. Thanks for that.

@user1471867483 - with reference to your longer-term feelings about exclusion, look up rejection-sensitive dysphoria.

Thank you so much. I really appreciate that. I'm going to look it up.

Why are you ignoring any commenter who isn’t agreeing that you have been dreadfully slighted? You’ve glossed over several people asking what comments you’ve made about his food and highlighting your judgement towards his smells and comment on his accent.

You’re so focused on your own apparent rejection you won’t even consider that you’ve, in fact, made this man uncomfortable.

@Janiie

No, not that. I think it's awful to say she would be invited, then invite everyone but her. That's just awful.

I think the Op was just letting us know that she didn't fancy him, that doesn't necessarily mean she has shown him this in person.

But if you want to play on that, go ahead.

The fact he knew quite factually that OP would not enjoy the food on offer suggests strongly that she must have commented on his food already. Alongside commenting on his smell and strong accent it wouldn’t surprise me if this man considered her to be, in the least, culturally insensitive.

I've always had confidence issues. Something I still need to work on by the sounds of it! You'd think I'd be used to this 'treatment' by now from people, but it still stings.

What a complete twat that man is. Never do anything to help him again OP. I am sorry you have to go through this as I know it hurts.

Wow at your update! What an absolute twunt.

Please don't worry too much says more about him. Some people have a cruel streak. I hope you have friends in real life ❤️

@user1471867483 and fwiw I've been left out and ghosted before but have some lovely friends nowadays. Some people are just weird. I was never popular when younger (although tbh I was a pain 🙈) but am fairly popular now in my 50s. Just shrug it off and don't let anyone take the piss.

Op please ignore the posters on here trying to get a rise out of you for saying he has a strong accent, what they are forgetting is that YOU helped him with his calls when his accent made things tricky with his calls. Also saying he picks his ears and nose doesn’t mean you had previously disliked him just that he has habits you (and all the posters on here too) don’t like.

No one would take a newspaper in for someone they dislike, you didn’t fancy him but obviously liked him prior to him not inviting you to his party, that is clear from your original post and that is why his purposeful exclusion of you hurts. If you didn’t like him as a colleague you wouldn’t have been bothered.

once again sending my best wishes to the OP. Remember be professional with him but absolutely no more than that and definitely no newspapers or help (and I bet he will ask you at some point for help or a newspaper but dont, just say sorry and laugh just like he did).

This would really hurt me. I'm sorry this happened. Do you think you could ask him about it? Xx

Thank you very much.

Yes, the OP could say 'Why, given that I think you're smelly and have grotesque personal habits and a 'thick' foreign accent, didn't you invite me to your housewarming that I couldn't have gone to, anyway?'

Why are you being so arsey and making weird and aggressive comments? The OP is hurt and reasonably so. Why not ask him? It could have been a complete oversight. What is wrong with an open and honest conversation?

The guy is a twat. A bullying little twat.

@Nobodyknowsitall op did ask

Have you read her updates?

Wow, he's very rude.

Sadly some people see kindness as weakness, it justifies their ego to be superior and mean.

His loss.

He really has no social awareness does he?
@user1471867483 Why did he think you wouldn't like the food?

I told him I have to cut down on fatty foods as my cholesterol is high but so are others where I work. I really don't know. I have to accept that he just doesn't like me. I mean, who wouldn't like a coworker who helps him out? I don't get it.

So much "woe is me" coming from OP

You expressed you don't like his food. Have you complained about distance too?

Is it possible he misunderstood you as "I was the only one who couldn't attend"?

Well done for speaking up OP, he's the one who should be embarrassed here, not you, he sounds absolutely awful. In a couple of days you won't even care about this, if indeed you care today now he has shown his true colours.

You expressed you don't like his food.

No she didn't. She just said she had to cut back on fatty foods. That isn't the same as "I don't like Indian food".

I wouldn't not invite someone because they couldn't eat fatty foods because I'm not petty.