Tutor canceled lessons!

[grassisgreener2015]

AIBU to think our (now ex) tutor has behaved unreasonably?

Our 11 plus tutor charges monthly in advance and I stupidly forgot to pay for February's lessons on time. She did remind me once about the invoice but it just slipped my mind as it's been a really busy few weeks.

We turned up for our lesson on Friday and she actually turned us away and had arranged for another family to take our place! I feel really embarrassed as the other family are from our school and they were there when she sent us away.

We've been having lessons since September and I've only paid late once on one other occasion. We've cancelled very few lessons and we're really pleased with our child's progress.

I think the tutor has been really impatient and quite frankly, rude! Surely someone working with children should be kinder than this and could have given us some leeway?

I'm a SEN tutor with the LA, and I'm literally having to turn down students because the waiting list is so long.
Guessing similar here with private tutoring?

The tutor isn't in the wrong, the email reminding to pay the invoice made it quite clear that not paying would constitute cancellation.

Why does the tutor need to run around like a blue arsed fly reminding people of information they've already had, multiple times (in the Ts & Cs on starting tuition, and in the invoice reminder).

OP clearly hasn't bothered properly reading the tutors emails, in fact I'd bet she never even opened them, just saw the email subject, thought 'oh yes I should have paid that' and then carried on doing something much more important and forgot.

So what chance was there that the OP would read any other communication from the tutor?

The tutor's small print said lessons that weren't paid for would be cancelled

You can click on what you want though. Change your vote as many times as you like.

Amanda Hughes, is that you?

I know, but a lot of people don't seem to know this.

I can't believe you said it's a pity the tutor isn't more understanding but maybe that's why she's no longer a class teacher! Wtf does that mean? I bet she's glad she can pick and choose the parents she has to deal with now.
You keep saying you are very busy. Firstly you didn't pay the invoice on time and even after a reminder. With any other bill, there would be consequences. We have to remember to pay bills. It's called being an adult. Secondly, the tutor is also a busy working woman who most likely doesn't have the time to keep chasing late payments.

It was in her terms so the op knew late payment would result in in her cancelling the tuition. The tutor doesn't owe her any further communication.

What did I just read in relation to the section "But they should have communicated that to you before the lesson so you didn't make the journey over there".

The Tutor had previously communicated to the OP about previous late payments. There is also a section in the Terms & Conditions (or small print as it's sometimes called) where the tutor clearly mentions about late payments and releasing the spot to other potential clients.
The OP acknowledges that there was an email about late payments and mentions losing the spot for late/no payment.

Finally, the OP went over there knowing that they hadn't paid and were hoping that the tutor could squeeze them in.

Nope. Not having any of it. Fair dues to this tutor who clearly knows how good they are and clearly knows when people are having a laugh by not showing up for lessons or not paying them. Their time is valuable (clearly as others are already in the timeslot that the OP's son previously used) and they had no issues filling that timeslot.

It was communicated in the email that the tutor sent to her.

The OP.just didn't think it would, or should, apply to her.

This is why good akd experienced tutors have Ts&Cs because, otherwise, some parents try taking the piss.

The tutor had no reason to expect the OP is making a journey to a lesson which wasn't paid for and noone got in touch about.

The reminder said that failure to pay means giving up the place. It would be rather abrupt ending, but I suppose the tutor have seen a lots if weird communication from the parents.

Please don’t go over there with flowers and an insincere essentially self serving “apology”. I am a Tutor and if people don’t pay me and don’t respond and pay when they are send reminders then I am forced to cease lessons. I would personally message them to say that lessons have now ceased due to lack of payment and wish them and their child all the best for the future. This would prevent them appearing as OP did… however, once I have made the difficult decision to end a parent / tutor relationship I won’t go back on that. The issues that have arisen will doubtless arise again. If you go to her house unannounced with flowers and essentially ambush her at her home she will be alarmed and wrong footed. She will not take it well I guarantee you. This type of thing has happened to me when a parent appears with a gift out of the blue on a Sunday morning or when I’ve just had a baby… text first and ask if it’s agreeable for you to stop by… and take no reply as a “No”.

I agree a bunch of flowers at this point would just be embarrassing. I think OP has left the thread, but let’s hope she’s learnt something from the unanimous YABU.

Please leave the poor woman alone, for all our sakes 🤣.

That she wants to be paid does not make her money oriented, it just makes her self employed and in need to pay bills. It's not that she dislikes children, it's the fact that she needs money to pay her bills.

You have somehow managed to still stay entitled and have taken nothing on board. It was not her fault. She isn't prioritising money, she is not a charity.

A colleague and I (music teachers) said today that we are treated like 'the help' despite our expertise and years of training.

Wonder If OP will be back….

Self-employed people are not charities.
Tesco don’t allow you to pay for your groceries late..
Its on you!

Oh dear , I'm late to the party ........but never go over with flowers as an apology, it's just embarrassing.
I'm a retired teacher, if I worked as a tutor I'd have clear boundaries and sadly late payments would be a red flag for me.
Sorry OP you've learnt a hard lesson.

Not the point of this thread but FFS how ANYONE can defend the grammar school system and claim that it improves social mobility is beyond me. Because yes, clearly a child who needs 121 tutoring in a private heated cabin because they would be too distracted in a small group setting is more worthy of a place at a grammar school than a more naturally academic child who has zero parental engagement in their educational.

(I'm not knocking the OP, as parents we do what we can for our children and I'd probably be doing the same if we lived in a grammar area. But my god it is SO WRONG).

How do you know they are tutoring for grammar school? Private schools also have 11+ exams

OP wrote in her second post "She's left our child with no tutor and they're now disadvantaged compared to their friends (grammar area)."

They aren't usually the11+ exam.
They are usually Common Entrance for admission to senior schools for children aged 13.

I don't understand your point.

Most pupils doing an 11+ exam are prepared for it. That's whether they are academic or not. I was 'prepared' for the 11+ at my state school, years ago.

Not all children who are tutored will pass the 11+ exam.

Old proverb- you can't make a silk purse out of a pig's ear.

She certainly earns more per hour than I do though! Maybe I'm in the wrong job!

Maybe you should retrain then, imagine it will involve a few years studying and considerable expense but definitely go for it. You can then offer your tutoring services with your own particular flexible "pay when you remember" fee set up. You may struggle to pay your bills but am sure that will be a minor irritation.

The point is that tutoring makes what was designed as a way of promoting academic children from all backgrounds, into a way of perpetuating class inequality: if wealthier children are given a lot of practice while poorer kids see the test for the first time when they sit it, they have an advantage at passing.

furthermore tutored children often arrive at grammar schools and find that they struggle, because they’ve been coached and not presented a true reflection of their academic abilities. Whereas maybe a child who didn’t get tutoring might have been able to fly academically in a grammar setting, if the tutored kid had not had that advantage.