Tutor canceled lessons!

[grassisgreener2015]

AIBU to think our (now ex) tutor has behaved unreasonably?

Our 11 plus tutor charges monthly in advance and I stupidly forgot to pay for February's lessons on time. She did remind me once about the invoice but it just slipped my mind as it's been a really busy few weeks.

We turned up for our lesson on Friday and she actually turned us away and had arranged for another family to take our place! I feel really embarrassed as the other family are from our school and they were there when she sent us away.

We've been having lessons since September and I've only paid late once on one other occasion. We've cancelled very few lessons and we're really pleased with our child's progress.

I think the tutor has been really impatient and quite frankly, rude! Surely someone working with children should be kinder than this and could have given us some leeway?

But you didn’t make “a mistake”. You failed to pay on time twice and the second time, you didn’t even pay when you received a reminder. I don’t believe that when you drove to her house for the (unpaid) lesson, that didn’t trigger the realisation that you still hadn’t paid. Despite your “I realise now . . . .” comments, you are still behaving in an entitled way and failing to take responsibility.

More money orientated?? You sound like an awful person who shouldn't be around children! She is reliant on her tutor income, yes mistakes are made but this is the second time you haven't paid on time. Your attitude is the one that stinks, you are the only person who has let your kid down not her.

Goodness OP, you really are not getting it are you? You’re certainly not doing yourself any favours ! You’re calling the tutor ‘money orientated’ now….. she’s doing a job. Yep she’s earning more than you, but she’s had the gumption to start a business as a tutor, she has a ‘nice warm cabin’ that she has to heat, not to mention purchase/build the cabin in the first place to accommodate her students! She has tax (and probably NI) to pay on her earnings. She’s not just tutoring - she has to spend time invoicing and chasing parents for payment, dealing with queries, booking appointments. She’s obviously well worth her fee having filled your space so quickly! You talk about her with contempt yet you’re planning on going round with a bunch of flowers to try and butter her up!! Yet you turned up last week having not even paid for that session 🤣. I’m stunned by your lack of awareness.

I truly hope she’s a mn’er and she’s reading this!

I'd hate to think that someone with OP's snarky attitude, lack of interpersonal skills and poor organisational skills could make the grade as a teacher.

Ur the one in the wrong here and ur embarrassed therefore trying to make out the tutors done you dirty. Pay the tutor on time going forward.

Are you for real?

She shouldn't be working with children because she expects to be paid promptly for her services?? 🤣

And I seriously doubt that 1 missed tutoring session is going to 'seriously disadvantage' your child.

You didn't pay (again), tutor followed her published procedures & replaced you. End of. She owes you nothing.

Something weird here, this is almost exactly the same as a thread last year but I think that was about music lessons. Exactly the same rude entitled attitude continuing to snidely argue her corner and ignore most of the comments.

Are you in a volunteer role? Do you volunteer your hours for free at a school?
No?
Then your money orientated as well. The reason you go to work , is not out of good will and love for the kids, it is because you get paid. Like most of us. We go to work for the money.

I've got 4 outstanding invoices at the moment. Totalled, they come to more than my mortgage payment.

This thread has prompted me to send reminders.

Your inability to pay on time (more than once by your own admission) is not the tutor’s problem to deal with. Maybe you will learn your lesson and just set yourself reminders and pay on time.

Our tutor has a lovely heated wooden cabin in her garden and offers lots of hands on learning, which is exactly what my child needs.

She's not your child's tutor anymore, OP.

Yes, I remember that one. Unfortunately I think a lot of middle class parents are just like that (I say that as a middle class parent).

Yep. And the fact that the child needs it is totally irrelevant to the tutor but should’ve been a critical factor in motivating OP to pay properly.

@anchoviesanchovies Oh that's ringing bells!

Unfortunately I agree. I work with a lot of MC parents and the way they talk about the people who work with their kids is appalling. They’re seen as little more than “the help”.

Unfortunately there is genuinely way more than 1 person like this.

I'm astounded at the cheekyfuckery of turning up for a lesson you knew you hadn't paid for and acting shocked at being turned away. Do you expect to continue receiving other services when you've failed to pay for them? Electricity? Car insurance?

The tutor is child orientated.. when she’s paid to be. Her job is to be child orientated to paying customers. (The children of paying customers at least). You were not a paying customer even though you had been reminded. Since September (which isn’t that long ago), you’ve forgotten to pay. You are a pretty useless customer.

I'm a tutor (SEN) and I rely on my income to pay the rent and put food on the table for my kids. So yes, YABU.

She shouldn’t have had to remind you and even after she did you still didn’t pay. That’s on you! Chances are she needs income so wasn’t hanging around when another family were waiting who were going to pay up.

Just in case the OP is reading still....and wishes she could earn what the tutor does.

The hourly fee doesn't cover just the time your child is with a tutor.

I used to spend up to 30 mins per student, preparing their lesson before they arrived. I had to buy books, materials, paper, printer ink, etc etc.

So whatever you paid your ex tutor it was possibly no more than you get working as TA or whatever you say you do in school.

Because the amount of time doing admin, preparing invoices, doing a self-assessment for tax, etc makes it a lot of work that a parent wouldn't see.

In these types of situations it’s very simple to work out the answer yourself by imagining how you’d feel if your boss forgot to pay you on time. See? Easy isn’t it?

It is very easy to be “child centred” when you know that you will be paid your full wage every month, on time.

A lot of schools are really struggling for money at the moment. So many wonderful things that they could do if they just had a bit more money. Perhaps you could be truly child centred and offer to take a pay cut for the next couple of years?

Yeah, only September and still you've managed to mess up.

I just feel that someone this unkind and impatient should not be working with children to be honest. She's left our child with no tutor and they're now disadvantaged compared to their friends (grammar area).

If she was that valuable to you, you really should have paid on time then. Shouldn't you?

Your child is your priority. Not hers.

You left your child with no tutor when you didn't pay 🤷🏻‍♀️