Tutor canceled lessons!

[grassisgreener2015]

AIBU to think our (now ex) tutor has behaved unreasonably?

Our 11 plus tutor charges monthly in advance and I stupidly forgot to pay for February's lessons on time. She did remind me once about the invoice but it just slipped my mind as it's been a really busy few weeks.

We turned up for our lesson on Friday and she actually turned us away and had arranged for another family to take our place! I feel really embarrassed as the other family are from our school and they were there when she sent us away.

We've been having lessons since September and I've only paid late once on one other occasion. We've cancelled very few lessons and we're really pleased with our child's progress.

I think the tutor has been really impatient and quite frankly, rude! Surely someone working with children should be kinder than this and could have given us some leeway?

Yes, exactly. Indeed, one could easily make a case that the OP, by dint of being so disorganised and unable to critically analyse the situation and fairly apportion blame, is entirely unsuited to be in a position of authority over any children at all, never mind work in a school ;)

Wonder just how many reminders the OP feels entitled to ?

Nope. She reminded you and you still didn’t pay. You are not a reliable customer. She has to make a living.

Why would you assume the lesson is going ahead when you haven’t paid, despite the tutor chasing up the payment. You cancelled the lessons yourself.

This has to be a reverse! How on earth would you feel if your job paid you late TWICE?! I can't believe you weren't mortified that you paid her late the first time. As a consequence of your disrespect to their tutor, your child will now miss out, potentially fail the 11 plus and- shock horror- attend an ordinary state school with the other children.

Intending to pay the bill is all very well, but she cannot pay her bills with good intent.

I run a small business providing lessons to children (sport) and whilst we are understanding we are not a charity and have bills to pay.

Its funny you expect the tutor to bend over backwards to be kind to your child, to prioritise your child over their own time/needs/other customers...

And yet you couldn't be bothered to pay for your child, or to properly read emails sent to you relevant to your child!

Why should the tutor have more consideration for your childs needs than you apparently do?

Everyone makes mistakes but what makes you sound unpleasant is your criticism of the tutor. Saying she's unkind etc.

This is 100% on you and your child might pay the actual price.

Have you settled the invoice now?

I'm not a troll. Just someone who has made a genuine mistake and was feeling angry but is now regretting that.

Thank you for all your comments. I think working in a school, I'm so focused on being child centered and concentrating on the child's needs that I hadn't seen it from the point of view that the tutor is more money oriented. She certainly earns more per hour than I do though! Maybe I'm in the wrong job!

I will be apologizing to the tutor properly. I think I'll pop round with some flowers and see if I can persuade her to give us another chance. All the other options seem to be online which just won't suit my child, or groups which I'm not keen on. Our tutor has a lovely heated wooden cabin in her garden and offers lots of hands on learning, which is exactly what my child needs. There's no way they'd concentrate properly on Zoom. They'd probably just wander off! 🤣

Yep on you. Perhaps you will learn your lesson now! No excuse with all the apps/SO in the world that can be set up

OMG haven't you learnt anything from this thread? No, you do not go around there with flowers, trying to manipulate her into changing her mind. That would be harassment. She has told you 'no'. She is quite rightly, ignoring you. She has assertively enforced her rules. You do not get to continue to shit all over her boundaries.

And the little digs about her wage... You've obviously never run your own business. You are so insulting.

You may be upset but you need to recognise who you should be upset with…..Thats you. You did not pay the tutors wages.
imagine how you would feel if your employer forgot to pay your wages.

I get the impression you want to bad mouth the tutor, you should not do that. This is all your fault,

Can’t you see how passive aggressive that second paragraph is? Are you genuinely not able to see that? You’re openly admitting that you plan to offer an insincere apology and some kind of floral guilt trip. For heaven’s sake leave the poor woman alone.

I suspect this is a reverse.
"You" have paid late twice since just September, AND have cancelled "very few lessons" (therefore you have cancelled some lessons).

1. The tutor must be paid on time, every time. Just as any employee expects in the UK.
2. Cancelling lessons is not on - any reduction in lessons means your child is less likely to pass the 11+ which reflects badly on the teachers stats.

I dread to ask if you paid for the lessons you cancelled....
Ps. Just read your update. I suggest you try going self-employed and report back.
PPS. There's a reason the tutor earns more than you.

@grassisgreener2015 of course the tutor was being child focused- she gave the space to another child as she thought you didn’t need it as you hadn’t paid!

yes you earn more money (I worked in a school I know the pay) but invoicing and people paying late is awful - I work for companies and one is great the other is awful. They were 10 days later once invoicing as it was getting all the invoices for a year and the effect on making sure the direct debits etc was covered was awful. Late payments are a massive issue when you are self employed

I'm so focused on being child centered and concentrating on the child's needs that I hadn't seen it from the point of view that the tutor is more money oriented.

Guess how long teachers in a school would stay if they didn't get paid. 😂

An apology isn’t a PROPER apology if it’s simply a means to an end. Going round with a bunch of flowers and ACTUALLY apologising is fine. Going round with a bunch of flowers, and trying to pressure the tutor to give you another chance is not an apology at all, and frankly I hope she hands you your arse on a plate. Please don’t embarrass yourself (and your child) further.
This is on you, and if you can’t find another tutor, and it impacts your child’s education and future remember that this is entirely on you, and don’t try to pass the buck onto the tutor or your child. Next time just set up a direct debit - if “I” can manage it, I’m sure “you” can!

You’re still being really rude about the tutor here. You’re “child centred and focused on the child’s needs” and she is “money oriented”. Why don’t you prove you’re child oriented by telling your employer that you will forgo your salary this month? Or are you a nasty money oriented person who doesn’t put the children first too?🙄

"She certainly earns more per hour than I do though!"

Reading your posts, I'm surprised that anybody pays you anything at all!

Imagine running a business and expecting to get paid - how very dare she 😁 if it was a Kip McGrath or something do you think you could just forget to pay and they would be kind and understanding and ‘child centred’ or would you see them as a business who provide a service for payment? You seem to think you’re doing this tutor a favour by letting her work with your child, but as you can see she probably has a waiting list and doesn’t need to keep slots free for people who won’t reliably pay.

@grassisgreener2015

I'm so focused on being child centered and concentrating on the child's needs that I hadn't seen it from the point of view that the tutor is more money oriented
You just can't help yourself can you.

You really are coming across terribly. You can't stop trying to paint the tutor in a bad light. It seems beyond you.

The tutor has not punished your child. You have let your child down.

All the tutor did was set boundaries and that's totally appropriate because otherwise people like you would run roughshod over them with your lack of planning, organisation and being damn rude.

Absolutely. @grassisgreener2015 she's made it clear she no longer wants you as a customer.
Oh and from what she earns per hour, she has to factor in all sorts of costs and there's no sick pay and holiday pay, which I'm sure you get.

OP I'd say the tutor was very child focused. Just not YOUR child. Someone else's who got the spot. The child of the parent who wasn't constantly letting them down. Sadly one tutor isn't able to make up for all the disappointments you are creating for your child.

I'm so focused on being child centered and concentrating on the child's needs that I hadn't seen it from the point of view that the tutor is more money oriented

Yup, you're definitely just trying to wind people up.

You do your job for free do you?

The OP hasn't said she's a teacher - she "works in a school". I think she's a TA.