Tutor canceled lessons!

[grassisgreener2015]

AIBU to think our (now ex) tutor has behaved unreasonably?

Our 11 plus tutor charges monthly in advance and I stupidly forgot to pay for February's lessons on time. She did remind me once about the invoice but it just slipped my mind as it's been a really busy few weeks.

We turned up for our lesson on Friday and she actually turned us away and had arranged for another family to take our place! I feel really embarrassed as the other family are from our school and they were there when she sent us away.

We've been having lessons since September and I've only paid late once on one other occasion. We've cancelled very few lessons and we're really pleased with our child's progress.

I think the tutor has been really impatient and quite frankly, rude! Surely someone working with children should be kinder than this and could have given us some leeway?

You also say in your OP that you "cancelled very few lessons" since starting in September, suggesting you have cancelled some?!!

You sound like a nightmare client with a ridiculous sense of entitlement and inflated self-importance. Maybe reflect on that rather than slandering the tutor online?!

Use it as a lesson be sure to pay on time with your next tutor. The tutor did nothing wrong.

This isn't a corporate it's a sole trader, you were reminded, you need look elsewhere.

I used to private tutor. She will have a waiting list, they all do, so she’s not making up not having space for you. Suppose you hadn’t paid and hadn’t showed up because you couldn’t be bothered to formally cancel? If she’s been doing the job for a while there’s a decent chance she’ll have had that happen before, and lost income over it. She reminded you once about payment, you can’t expect more than that. I’m afraid this is totally your fault. You’re out of order saying she doesn’t care about children enough because of this. That attitude is generally from people who are trying to take advantage.

You got an invoice AND a reminder and you still had the brass neck to show up at her house expecting lessons without paying her?

You’ve cut your own brake lines here i’m afraid.

We've been having lessons since September and I've only paid late once on one other occasion. We've cancelled very few lessons

Did you pay when you cancelled lessons?

And the award for most entitled Mumsnetter of the year goes to……

I thought this too. Near identical attitude from both OPs.

Let's see.

You've been with his tutor 'for a very long time, since September'. Hardly 'a very long time' at all.

During those five months, it's the second time 'it slipped your mind' to pay. And you still didn't pay, even after a reminder.

Also, during those five months, you cancelled 'not many, JUST a few lessons'.

Yea, I'm surprised it took her the whole five months to dump you.

Also, loving the manipulation. 'Just a busy working mom' - yea, so are billions of other women. Probably including the tutor. 'She should think about the kids, poor kids' - your kids are your problem. They're clients to the tutor. She's not their mother or their friend. As you found out, she already replaced you with another family, no bother.

Next time it will slip your boss's mind to pay your wage even after you remind them - come back here and give us your thoughts on the matter. Boss might also be a busy person, juggling kids and other stuff, after all.

But you were trying to say she’s “not a bad person” which of course is 😆! Based on what we know, not sure why you are backing her up 🤣.

Are you OP 😆

Just weird you tagged me 🤣, then say I’m posting for a reaction 🤣.

Plenty of busy working people with kids remember to pay their bills - especially when they get reminders. You think this tutor owes you a better working relationship as she have been using her services for a whole five month, during which time you have forgotton to pay twice (didn't forget to turn up, though) and have cancelled numerous sessions. You're a bad client, OP, and clearly she is a good tutor who has pleny of people waiting to take your place.

She is not punishing your child for your mistake! You are the only person to blame for your child losing this tutor.

Do you have any idea how much time self employed people spend chasing payments? It’s too much time. When you get a client like that, you drop them. We self employed people deserve to be respected for the service we provide and someone who forgets to pay us doesn’t respect or value what we do, and thinks our salary is an afterthought which doesn’t matter and they don’t care if we can’t pay our bills.

That’s you. That is how you treated her. Two forgotten payments out of 6 and we all know that you’d keep doing it. You can say afterwards that you value her and know she deserves to be paid but what you say means nothing. Your actions are all that matter and your actions were to not pay her on time twice. She is not going to keep you as a client. That is not punishing your child. This isn’t vindictive. She is simply no longer going to work with someone who sees paying her on time as optional.

You did this to your own kid. Stop calling the tutor unkind and unfit to work with kids. You really need to grow up and sort out your entitled behaviour.

I wonder how many threads have been started about the OP over the years!

I have friends who tutor and considered doing it myself but their experiences with all the “busy working mums” failing to pay on time put me off.

Why the tutor should care more about your child’s future than you do is completely beyond me.

Can only imagine the contents of all the emails sent over the weekend.

YABU. Good for the tutor!

Because you tagged me 😂
Ofc if you read my other comments you’d realise my position, and that obviously I am not. Page 8 incase you’re curious…

They certainly lack self awareness, they’re unable to portray themselves positively on this threa

OPs I suspect present themselves rather more favourably in situations than was probably the reality

so quite possibly this is the OP thinking she’s portraying herself positively !

How would you feel if your employer genuinely forgot to pay you until they set eyes on you? The tutor has her own bills to pay and they can't wait until you decide you have the time to sort out payment

Didn’t it remind you on the way to the lesson that you hadn’t paid?

I agree with this the lads on the street I grew up on had extra lessons / specialist tutors to get them into our local grammar.

They both struggled and hated it so after a year their parents moved the oldest one to the local comp and then 2 years later the younger one was moved out after a year at the grammar . He went to a local Catholic ( I think ) school.
Both thrived in a environment that was better suited to them.

@grassisgreener2015 , just in case you didn't get the hint from.all the pp Yabvu.

I'd never punish a child in my class for something that was thier parent's fault

how long was she supposed to wait for payment? what if she didnt' 'punish' your child and you didn't pay say....10 lessons later....or more?

Good for the tutor.

It's hard enough being self-employed without people not paying you on top.

This cannot be serious? In less than 6 months you've paid late twice, she reminded you and you still haven't paid. And we are a long way into February not just a day or two. You are not doing her a favour employing her, good 11+ tutors are in high demand and she will be able to fill your kids session straight away with someone who pays on time. Her bills don't wait until you can be bothered.

I think the tutor was right here. You didn’t pay, she gave you a gentle reminder, you still didn’t pay yet you just turned up and expected to still have a lesson.

It’s very presumptuous of you to be honest and you can’t expect her to miss out on a session because you didn’t pay. Say you just didn’t pay because you no longer wished to continue but didn’t communicate this…that’s her wages at the end of the day 🤷🏼‍♀️

I think you know YABU.

“Disadvantaged”. This shows everything that is wrong with a grammar school system. What about those who can’t afford a tutor at all? A level playing field is what is actually needed here.