Tutor canceled lessons!

[grassisgreener2015]

AIBU to think our (now ex) tutor has behaved unreasonably?

Our 11 plus tutor charges monthly in advance and I stupidly forgot to pay for February's lessons on time. She did remind me once about the invoice but it just slipped my mind as it's been a really busy few weeks.

We turned up for our lesson on Friday and she actually turned us away and had arranged for another family to take our place! I feel really embarrassed as the other family are from our school and they were there when she sent us away.

We've been having lessons since September and I've only paid late once on one other occasion. We've cancelled very few lessons and we're really pleased with our child's progress.

I think the tutor has been really impatient and quite frankly, rude! Surely someone working with children should be kinder than this and could have given us some leeway?

Dreadful. I would give notice. It’s not worth the stress. @DaringlyDizzy

A tutor doesn't owe you anything either if you don’t pay for their time. Thinking otherwise is incredibly entitled.

You say that you accept you made a mistake, but I don't think you do. You still think she is completely in the wrong and you are a blameless bystander who couldn't have done anything to prevent this.

You say you cancelled a few times, I'd guess that is quite a few times. You also didn't pay on time once before. Would you be happy if your employers didn't pay your salary on time?

Very unfair to say this is clearly why she isn't a teacher anymore, maybe the hours of tutoring suit her a lot better.

Reverse? You accept that you've paid late twice and cancelled lessons within less than six months, you accept that you had an invoice and a reminder warning you that lessons would be cancelled if you didn't pay, you were too busy to remember to pay the invoice but not too busy to turn up for lessons. How could anyone possibly think it's the tutor who is being unreasonable?

Pretty sure the OP has got the message by now. Find a new tutor OP and chalk it up to lesson learnt

No it isnt entitled. This word is so over used now in society. Honestly, you ppl learn some fancy words and you run away with it. 🤣 There is what's know as reasonable behaviour and being able to demonstrate some level of communication. To cut someone some slack if they forgot to pay is being reasonable. If you read my original post I said it's abit of both sides at fault here. Of course op needs to pay if she wants lessons , I simply said that the slot being given away should have been communicated to op. Are we done here?

It seems quite strict but fair to be honest OP. I can understand forgetting to pay, I forget stuff like that all the time, but I would be embarrassed and do it instantly when reminded. We're quite far into February now, and you can't expect to turn up for a lesson you haven't paid for.

This is the exact same scenario that was posted very recently - except that one related to not paying a new child minder in advance. The answers to that post, were exactly the same as here. The entitlement of the poster was identical too.

@grassisgreener2015 I presume you have changed your name? You aren't going to get any different answers here.

I swear I've read this exact story on here recently except it was a music teacher.

I call bullshit

CHILDMINDER! yes that was it

Although im still sure piano lessons have featured somewhere too

She was saying she's fully booked on friday, although I'm not sure that's completely true. I've suggested maybe she could offer us cancellation lessons or maybe squeeze us in as an extra but she's not replied to my emails sent over the weekend.

So you're doubting her honesty - and you don't know why she's not replied to your emails.

Look, you are that Parent From Hell.

She doesn't want to have anything to do with you.

If you are so lacking in social skills that you can't interpret her silence, maybe start putting yourself in the other person's shoes?

So 5 months of lessons and you paid late before, cancelled some lessons already, didnt pay on time, didnt pay when reminded, and you are actually thinking you might have a reason to be annoyed?

It's not a 'small mistake'.

You've been with her since September, so out of 6 months of pre-paying for the months of tutoring sessions, you've been late or forgotten entirely 1/3 of the time. And cancelled various other sessions.

This is how the tutor makes a living and pays her own bills. You not being reliable with your payments fully ONE THIRD of the time you've been with her is a real problem, not a 'small' one.

I wonder, OP, would you be happy with not being paid on time? Presumably the tutor also has bills to pay.

Omg, are you for real? Not only are you entitled , you're a hypocrite too! You go grovelling to her begging to be accommodated, but at the same don't think someone this "unkind" should be working with kids??!!. If she shouldn't be working with kids why are you begging for a space? Go find someone who is not unkind and should be working with children then, esp someone who will be willing to put up with your level of entitlement!

God, you are so entitled. You did not pay for a service she has given, you forgot twice to pay and you cancelled lessons.

How many times had your employer forgot to pay you? This is her business, her income, you are very disrespectful. Don't give me all this be kind bullshit you failed to pay, and the tutor filled her place with hopefully more reliable people.
Stop deflecting and take responsibility. I say good firbthe tutor.

You've paid late twice what do you expect? It isn't difficult to have the courtesy to pay people on time.

The children don't pay the invoice do they? Only one person here has let down and disadvantaged the child - you. If you cared that much you'd have paid on time.

The tutor has made the terms and conditions absolutely clear. In my business a new client pays on booking to secure the session. Thereafter a 24 hour payment in advance policy applies. No payment - no session. You knew what you were supposed to do. I'm not surprised she's not replying to your messages. I wouldn't either. She's in demand and doesn't want unreliable clients on her books.

Not paying the bills twice in six months and ignoring reminders/not reading T&Cs and still thinking you can turn up to a lesson is entitled. It really is. She's expecting to receive a service she hasn't paid for.

When she didn't react to the reminder to pay, the tutor might have taken that as communication that the lessons were no longer wanted. I would have.

How much unbilled time are self-employed people supposed to spend chasing flaky clients?

They grow up so fast these days!

Sorry I am with the tutor on this one.

So you have only been with them since September, so 6 months and out of those 6 months you have twice paid late. I don't blame them for cancelling.

How would you feel if your employer paid you late? Would you be so blasé and think mistakes happen.

At the end of the day the tutor is running a business, if you want to keep their business, you pay on time.

YABU and entitled. There are lots of equally busy mums who will pay her on time why should the tutor have to spend her time chasing you when she clearly has other families ready and willing to pay on time.
Also she wasn't rude she reminded you and let it pass that you had already paid late once. Next time put a reminder on your phone to pay I do this with every payment I have that isn't by direct debit or standing order because I don't think anyone providing me a service should go without payment just because I've not been organised.

I can’t believe that you posted this online, it shows how entitled you are.

You missed the payment and not for the first time, a clear lack of respect for the tutor, who has every right to have nothing further to do with you.

PS: Spelling ….. cancelled (two Ls!).

Do you work 7 days a week OP?

I wouldn’t be responding to emails at the weekend, as I don’t work weekends. I assume your tutor is the same.

You’re being spoilt. It’s your fault, not hers.

She's left our child with no tutor and they're now disadvantaged compared to their friends (grammar area)

You left your own child without a tutor as you didn't pay for their tutoring, even after you were reminded...seems not for the first time either.

Yes, I can now see that her email reminder did say that if the invoice was not paid, lessons would be cancelled but I'd still expect a more personal text or phonecall before actually replacing us bearing in mind we've been with her since September!

I'm not sure you re read before posting the above.
How much entitlement can one person feel they're owed...September, hardly been a reliable loyal customer forgetting to pay twice in that time.

If you were replaced so quickly it sounds like the tutor is a very busy person tutoring paying customers, why would they have time to keep contacting someone for payment when their last reminder email was ignored, shown so by you still turning up for a lesson you hadn't paid for.