Tutor canceled lessons!

[grassisgreener2015]

AIBU to think our (now ex) tutor has behaved unreasonably?

Our 11 plus tutor charges monthly in advance and I stupidly forgot to pay for February's lessons on time. She did remind me once about the invoice but it just slipped my mind as it's been a really busy few weeks.

We turned up for our lesson on Friday and she actually turned us away and had arranged for another family to take our place! I feel really embarrassed as the other family are from our school and they were there when she sent us away.

We've been having lessons since September and I've only paid late once on one other occasion. We've cancelled very few lessons and we're really pleased with our child's progress.

I think the tutor has been really impatient and quite frankly, rude! Surely someone working with children should be kinder than this and could have given us some leeway?

To add to what everyone has said, it was January and I'll bet you're not the only people who didn't pay her because everyone is broke in January. Just imagine how difficult that is for her! Why should she have to spend her time chasing you for payment?

who's the 1% ?????????????

someone with butterfingers

Omg total derailing of the thread but everything you said happened to me when I tutored at home, including the toilet scenario. Not once, but MULTIPLE times. I don’t tutor anymore and the things you mention were some of the contributing factors!!. It’s horrible seeing people have absolutely zero respect of your home.

Once I even had to ask a PARENT to stop spilling coffee on the carpet, they thought this was somehow acceptable?

Agree with you though that people don’t see working from home as meaningful “work”, lots see it as some hobby. Including the OP!!!!

You’ve left your child with no tutor by not paying, let’s get that one straight.

Maybe idiots like me who pressed the wrong response. I realised and changed

I agree with PP the tutor is not disadvantaging your child - you are - you didn't pay.
The fact that you feel that someone that rude and impatient should not be teaching children is completely unfair.
When I retired from teaching I tutored for a few years and as a tutor you are filling two roles. You are not only delivering a service - teaching - which you are really comfortable with; you also running a business, which after many years in teaching, I was much less comfortable with.
I hated having to chase invoices; I found it uncomfortable to be hard headed and I was surprised how often I had to chase and I am sure I came across as 'rude' on occasion, but that did not reflect, in anyway, the relationship I had with my pupils or how I interacted with them.

Therefore I can understand why the tutor deals with unpaid invoices the way she does.

Had you paid your February invoice before turning up on Friday? If not then, after an invoice and reminder stating that if you don't pay she will assume lessons are cancelled, you were unreasonable just to turn up. The onus was very much on you to contact the tutor to try to sort it out .

She's left our child with no tutor

No, YOU left your child with no tutor. If you had paid what you were supposed to when you were supposed to your child would still have a tutor.
You strike me as the sort of person who, if they walked into a lamppost, would blame the lamppost.

You're actually nuts right?

You didn't pay her on time. She can't say to her mortgage company 'don't worry I'm planning on paying you but X hasn't paid me yet'

You wouldn't be taking it lightly if your workplace forgot to pay you and brushed it off with a 'ooo we were busy, I was planning on paying you at some point'. If you'd only been there since September and they had fucked up your payroll TWICE you'd be looking for an out.

This is absolutely on you. Some of the comments you make about her not being kind etc. are completely out of order. She is not a charity, this is her income and it looks like you didn't read her terms properly. She is not beholden to you or your daughter. Late paying twice since September and cancelling some sessions - I'm not surprised that she's filled your slot.
Take some responsibility.

She hasn't left your child without a tutor. You did. That's on you. Your anger is misplaced.

It's a pity the tutor isn't more understanding but maybe that's why she's no longer a class teacher.

Thats an utterly disgusting thing to say, you really need to reflect on why you have such a dreadful attitude.

You broke the contract. She’s not a charity. Bet she’s well glad to see the back of you.

Presumably you get invoiced roughly the same time each month? Set a reminder on your phone or a standing order if it's for the same amount each time. Tutors shouldn't have to be chasing you for payment, they have bills to pay the same as you. If she has to chase every parent several times for payment each month, then that's quite a bit of extra work and stress for her. It sounds like she's in demand and can pick more reliable clients, so I don't blame her.

I was going to say that I find it hard to believe someone (the OP, obviously) is this arrogant, self-centred and entitled - but here we are.

The "shame" is on YOU.

Would you be OK with your work not paying you on time twice in 6 months and you having to email to chase and them still not paying you? If everyone of her clients did the same as you she would spend her life doing admin. Please apologise a lot and hope she can fit you back in, then set up a direct debit.

Grovel and offer to pay the next 3 months in advance?
You cannot pay tutors and after school clubs late. They end up spending tons of time chasing invoices otherwise so many have this kind of policy. They do not want time wasters.

I am sure every class teacher expects to be paid on time so I really don't get why you think that expectation makes her unfit to be one.

And please do drop the 'busy mum' excuse it really doesn't wash on a site that is mostly used by other 'busy mums'. You screwed up (we all do) and suffered the quite reasonable consequences. It's rough on your child but most people will sympathise with the tutor having to deal with repeatedly reminding a customer that they actually do have to pay for their service.

So, you didn't pay? She reminded you, and you still didn't pay?

It's her job. She needs to fill slots. You're very unreasonable.

OP, you have really let your child down by not valuing the tutors services.

I have 4 children in years of music lessons, individual coaching etc.

No one ever waited for payment because I respected them and what they were offering my child...being the best around at what they taught.

No way would I fxxk about with payment and unnecessarily irritate them.

You messed up and your child pays for it.
Learn from this.

I wouldn't tolerate being paid my salary late, not for a minute.

How does this impact her working with children?

She hasn't been impatient or unkind. She sent you a polite reminder that the payment was due, and still had no response from you.
She has a business to run, so of course she is going to offer the place to another family.

Why are you asking her to squeeze your daughter in as an extra if you think she shouldn’t be working with children then? How do you know your “small mistake” didn’t result in a direct debit bouncing on her and costing her more in fees? It’s so tiring when clients think work is a hobby for us that offer services.

I agree that the trick as a busy Mum is to do things as soon as they appear. Or at least make sure the email is left on unread until you deal with it.

Says a currently unbusy mum, bored on maternity leave, scrolling Mumsnet 😁.

Honestly take this as a lesson learnt. The tutors tend to know each other and refer to each other when they're full. It's important to treat them like the professionals they are as word spreads. Most people I know with good tutors pay by standing order regardless of any cancellations . This is on you I'm afraid and yes your child will be at a disadvantage versus other tutored kids as demonstrated that someone was only too willing to jump into your spot . At this stage all the really good tutors are typically booked up .

Sounds like its a stretch to afford these lessons? 2 late payments in less than 6 months doesnt sound great TBH. Tuition is a stretch for most people.We paid for our DS to have a private Tutor 20 years ago ,it was £15.00 a session then!Look elsewhere,but no more tardy payments