Why is it not illegal to cheat on someone

[Miratea]

I don’t want to give too many details. I found it pretty traumatising to be lied to. The person went on about how great of a person they were and how they weren’t like other guys. They acted like they cared about me and would be supportive of me. They were exactly like the “other guys” they described, they were a cheat with a number of others waiting in line, got with someone new every 5-6 months and I was nothing special like they’d made me out to be. I found it really traumatising and have trust issues because of it. They really rushed things and then moved on and I never saw them again. They turned on me and started being really nasty towards me. It feels like emotional whiplash. I know it wasn’t my fault but I don’t understand why these men do it

Anyone who says that they ‘aren’t like the other guys/girls’ or anything like that should automatically never be trusted.

He did it because he’s a dick, so sorry about that.

It’s a daft question though.

I feel your pain OP, I'm a man, was cheated on by my girlfriend of several years, the affair had been going on for over a year during which time she purchased a rental property that I spent over 6 months renovating (I'm a tradesman) I gave up other work to do it, spent out money on materials.

Then when I had finished, she dumped me, nice - I could I think, taker her to court to recoup some of it, mis-representation, fraud, whatever - but it's better just to move on and learn a lesson!

Huh? If I'm seeking countries where busybody legislation seems much more 'the thing', the USA is far down the list.

How would you actually write a law like this down, OP?

How would you define "cheating"?

And how would you enforce it?

SOme people are just cruel.
Your post does show though, that in this world of MN, (which is obviously very different to the outside world) some women are absolute horrors....it's not always the men who are the monsters.

People would still cheat even if illegal. And people would lie more just to cheat if it's made illegal.

I think it would be unworkable.

Out of interest, in your own case, what would you have liked to happen legally?

Would you want him arrested? Fined? Jailed? Have to do community service?

I suppose you should write to your MP in the first instance. If you put forward your reasons they should give this due consideration. In fact I’ll also write to my MP and together we’ll fight the good fight. Let’s sock it to the liars and dirty cheats of the world. 😂

They do it because they're emotionally immature, selfish and in a lot of cases narcissistic. You've dodged a bullet and learnt a hard lesson.

While it would be tricky in practice in some situations I do think if proven cheating should completely be taken into account if it came to a divorce and the person being cheated on being able to take the cheater to the cleaners when it comes to dividing the assets.

I do think maybe it would be nice if there was also more of a social stigma to cheating and knowingly entering an affair with the cheater. Emphasis on the word knowingly. Maybe we could start with if the cheater is a public figure both parties having to publicly apologise for any disappointment, grievances and hurt caused.

You house/car getting robbed doesn't even get attention.

My family member got burgled while in the house hiding with her kids in the bedroom, she was on the phone to the police as it happened. They said they where sending emergency response but no one ever showed, luckily the guy just took some stuff and left (probably unaware they where even in the house). Took police 2 weeks to get back in touch and asked if she was still currently being robbed and still needed an officer to attend.

No the police don't have time for real crimes, people are dying (a neighbor died after police didn't attend a welfare check on a vulnerable person raised by multiple neighbors for over 48 hours) due to overstretched forces, let alone to sort 'hurt feelings' in civil matters.

Cheating is grim but luckily we don't live under Sharia law.

If the relationship was going too fast for you, you slow down. You protect yourself.

He might have felt the first flush of love/ lust, but it waned as it sometimes does and he moved on.

Someone who future fakes and has a past stream of women behind him / never had a long term relationship/ marriage is a walking red flag. A one man carnival.
Of course he's going to lie. No one would date it sleep with him otherwise.

You weren't married, engaged etc so had no evidence except words and actions suspect mostly words.
It's not a crime to think you like someone then change your mind and be crap about telling them.

I'm on the side of free will, and staying together because we both want to.

You can (and people do) go to prison for having one small alcoholic drink while pregnant in some parts of the US. Think again.

It has moral consequences, particularly if there are children involved. I know you don’t want to go back to some medieval framework where adulterers get stoned.

if we were to get practical one could suggest you need to get better at spotting these losers to protect yourself. Freedom programme maybe?

I am NOT exaggerating when I say I just choked on my tea and inhaled some of it.
🤣🤣🤣

A truly great man wouldn't tell you he was great. That would turn me off him straight away.

I often thought there should be some sort of consequences when I was going through the aftermath. A lot of the times the person cheated on has been living a version of their lives that isn’t true. Feeling that all come tumbling down and having your brain try and work out what the fuck has been happening is pretty traumatic IME.

It causes a lot of damage to men when women do it too. But making it a criminal offence is ridiculous.

Another approach would be to make it harder to get into a bad relationship in the first place

Perhaps all potential partners shoukd be vetted for compatibility. Could save a lot of heartache

Anyone who tells you how great they are and how they're not like other guys is more likely to be a narcissist than a great guy. Going round telling people how great you are is NOT normal behaviour. Definitely a red flag to watch out for in future.

Vetted by whom?

What would the cost be and how long would the wait take until someone gives you the ok to date them?

@onceuponatimelived

No it’s fine Susan, you just keep getting cheated on and the generations after you too.

Don’t encourage, celebrate or explore any concept of change. Just stay put in your cycle of exploitation. That’s really the sort of country you want to live in.

You live in the wrong country. Saudi is >>>>> that way

This. It should be punishable by firing squad.

Do you seriously think that a law like that would be to the advantage of overly clingy ex girlfriends?

It would be used to terrorise women. Every time they left a controlling and abusive relationship, they'd be reported to the police for adultery. If they hadn't managed to leave yet, they'd be reported to the police for adultery. If they'd made eye contact with somebody, they'd be reported to the police for adultery. If they didn't want to terminate a pregnancy, they'd be reported to the police for adultery. If they did terminate a pregnancy, they'd be reported to the police for adultery. If they intended to terminate a pregnancy they'd be reported to the police for adultery, knowing that the investigation/arrest could mean the termination not going ahead. And what would you suggest is the penalty - stoning? Compulsory sexual servitude/marriage? Taking away their ability to have sex with anybody else?

Being dumped sucks. Wanting to take away the ability for somebody in an abusive, coercive relationship to escape because you feel crappy is ridiculous - but would be the sort of thing said by a perpetrator of such abuse and coercion once the person they see as their property escapes.

It's the same path of twisted logic that covers incels, annihilators, and theocratic dictatorships.