Why is it not illegal to cheat on someone

[Miratea]

I don’t want to give too many details. I found it pretty traumatising to be lied to. The person went on about how great of a person they were and how they weren’t like other guys. They acted like they cared about me and would be supportive of me. They were exactly like the “other guys” they described, they were a cheat with a number of others waiting in line, got with someone new every 5-6 months and I was nothing special like they’d made me out to be. I found it really traumatising and have trust issues because of it. They really rushed things and then moved on and I never saw them again. They turned on me and started being really nasty towards me. It feels like emotional whiplash. I know it wasn’t my fault but I don’t understand why these men do it

Yes women too.
OP it's a batshit idea, this country has enough real crimes to sort out and they don't even do that properly.

It doesn't really surprise me that some people would welcome this level of interference in their life and I suppose it's a logical extension from people believing they have a right to a life free from offence or unpleasantness

Making cheating illegal wouldn't stop cheats from cheating

If you’re not married what contract has he broken? Yes it’s shit but you need to develop some resilience.

This response, I agree with.

It's a shame it isn't illegal - or at least some sort of wrong. The harm that it does to people is often lifechanging. And cheaters are often naively swept up in cliches so they'd benefit from giving their head a wobble.

I do understand that it's unpoliceable and the police don't even have time to do the work they have currently. Not to mention that we have no money for health and education, never mind this.

Oh no, let tax payers money go on building and buying bombs and weaponry to murder some of the poorest families in the world and fund the media to justify it too.

That seems a better way to spend tax payers hard earned money, doesn’t it?

Please, you’re talking like tax payers money goes to all round great places anyway, your ideology is skewed with a deeply diminished moral high ground. Do some soul searching.

Do we really want to be the the sort of country that bangs people up for adultery?

You could move to the USA. Over there seems more appropriate to ask to legislate every inch of life with zero respect for rights and freedom.

No it’s fine Susan, you just keep getting cheated on and the generations after you too.

Don’t encourage, celebrate or explore any concept of change. Just stay put in your cycle of exploitation. That’s really the sort of country you want to live in.

It was...women had their noses and ears cut off. Men could be killed.

Drastic but thems the rules

You sound as though you'd be much happier in Iran or Afghanistan 🙄

Change is fine if it's for the better. You just seem to want to take us back to the Middle Ages.

Adultery as mentioned can't be penalised by law for many reasons but I think a lot of people would agree in some hypothetical they wish it could. The reasons for non criminalization have been given here fully but so think the OP has the right to vent frustration there can't be any legal sanction against an adulterer given the amount of emotional distress caused.....we are only human.

It is an interesting hypothetical finals of infidelity would decrease if there was fear of sanction e.g. we speed less because we know occasionally there are speed cameras?

Most of these also apply to rape and / or sexual harassment, both of which were legal until relatively recently

Maybe what needs to change Marjory is the concept that humans belong to one another and if a person decides to have sex with or become romantically involved with a different person at any point in their life then the whole world comes crashing down. Maybe we need to teach our children that romantic rejection happens and is ....... Fine. By creating an institutional punishment for cheating we are supporting the idea that it always victimises the person who is "cheated on". It doesn't. I have been cheated on. He was an idiot and lost out on being with someone amazing. Shame for him. I was free to go on and find better relationships with different people. Lucky for me.

You picked a lowlife boyfriend who lied to you and you think that should be a criminal offence? Good lord, I know resilience is at an all time low but this is insane.

Raise your standards. Don't date people who mess you around, and dump them if they do. It's not a crime, it's just being an arsehole. If arseholes were incarcerated this country would be half empty.

I don't think adultery should be illegal but if you have a horrendous stbxh like mine, the lies, gaslighting, psychological abuse probably already are criminal acts. It's different to having a healthy relationship and then having a one night stand.

I do think it can go hand in hand with abuse, or cause someone to become abusive to cover themselves. He convinced me i was mentally ill for example to save his own image, that deserves consequences but the reason he did it was to hide the cheating. It's unforgivable.

Define cheating.

Would sexting count??

Would any lie count? For eg having a sneaky gambling or drug habit?

In the days when adultery was illegal it needed to be PIV.

Obviously there was no gay marriage then.

God only know how you'd define it now.

(Flashbacks to Bill Clinton)

Being cheated on isn't nice but no one should be 'traumatised' by it, especially from a 5-6 month relationship. Years of marriage and a complete change in life, then yes, that would be very upsetting.
The word traumatised is batted about and minimised way too much. It takes away from the suffering of people who have actually experienced trauma.

Are you suggesting that people shouldn't be allowed to leave a relationship?

OP, forgive me, but you do sound very immature and rather naïve. I am sorry this has happened to you, and I’m sure you feel awful, let down and used, but cheating, adultery, call it what you will has been going on since human’s decided to leave the swamp. And it’s not confined to men doing it, so do women, so do LGBGT persons. The trick is to try and recognise the signs, not always easy granted, but there are some basics you could learn, be aware of, not least thinking about where you met someone, how did your first few dates/times together go, what are his/her friends like, do you suspect lies, are you being over complimented, etc…….and of course there’s the minefield of social media to consider.
You do need to grow a bit of a thick skin, be a tad wary, and sadly, as many many people have found, even being in a long term relationship isn’t always any easier. There are some decent people out there, male and female, but there are also some terrible cheats. It’s just sadly a quirk of mankind, the most advanced creatures on Earth can often plumb the depths of primeval slime!

I don't take kindly to stationery thieves!
Off with their bits!

Seriously OP, you feel awful right now but you'll be all the wiser for it.
I once had a boyfriend who cheated on his ex, cheated on me with the same ex, I dumped him, he got back with the ex and then he cheated on her with her best friend (and got caught in the act so hid under the bed...)!
Absolute bottom feeder of a bloke, but he taught me how to spot the hairy-arsed narcissists! Met a lovely man (DH) years later when I wasn't even looking.
It's onwards and upwards now, leave him to his grotty life and live yours well x

Unless money is involved, being a lowlife cheat isn't a crime. If it were, the police would be overwhelmed, and the court system.

If you haven't lost any money, be grateful that you have learned a valuable lesson, and move on with your life.

What madness is this?