Elderly parents won't write wills or funeral plans.

[Iaminthefly]

AIBU to be starting to get seriously stressed about it?

My parents are both mid 70s. I have been asking them for several years now to please sort out their wills and funeral plans. They keep saying they will but still haven't done it.

I am a lone parent of two young DC. No other real family support other than my parents. I have an older brother but given my DM still buys his food shopping it's doubtful how much help he would be.

I just really worried that I'm going to end up negotiating funerals and estates (niether of which I have any experience of) absolutely blind because they won't put anything in place. I also stress I'll make a complete balls up of it because I will be absolutely grief stricken.

I've asked and asked but they will not do it. Nobody likes facing their mortality but I'm starting to feel its quite selfish of them not to get it sorted out.

You can't set up a POA for another person - they have to start the process. They decide who they want and then those people sign if they agree. And it ends with death.

Focus on the wills, they are important to do. Funeral plans as in stuff they try and sell and promote as a wise investment to save your family costs are pointless if you have a will. All you need to know is what they would like, if they want to tell you. The costs will be paid from their estate

The intestancy rules I wrote are true for where I live as ab example.

My central point still stands that a will is only needed if you want to deviate from the standard rules of inheritance.

It’s up to the OP’s parents to check what they are where she is and decide if they need a will or not.

Just leave them to it and feel no guilt when you have to do what is best for you when the time comes....

Good to clarify that you are in a different jurisdiction and that the Intestacy rules of England and Wales are different from those that you have specified. Just in case anyone is thinking of taking your advice.

I assume OP you have made a will. Give them a copy as a hint.

You won't need a LPOA to organise the funeral. When the applicant dies, so does the LPOA. We have just posted off our LPOA forms. It is very straightforward, if you have a simple family make up. You need to do 2 each, one for money, one fir health. The gov website is very easy to negotiate, and once you put you details in, the forms are printed off with your details in place. There are 22 pages for each application. The complicated bit is the order they need signing in, we sat all 4 people, me and DH, DD and the witness, and did each in order over a cup of tea. £82 each, so £164 per person. We spent quite a long time discussing implications of the various options, buy the website has plenty of notes to help you make the decisions that are right for you.
https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/make-a-lasting-power-of-attorney

Yes I agree. I should have said I’m currently an expat in a place where lots of British retire to.

If they have property (as in a house) in the UK still it's good to get a Will here as well as abroad. Saves confusion in two jurisdictions.

True, but a U.K. will doesn’t override the inheritance laws of another country for other assets if they are permanent residents elsewhere. It can get very confusing! 🫤 the U.K. will would only apply to the U.K. house and assets.

Always good to get a will in each jurisdiction where you have property. As in a house. Saves confusion.