He has me in tears

[zebraprintxmasdinner]

Posted before about partner and his temper
Saving up for a car makes him in a bad mood which in turn he has been taking out on me

Lasy weekend he went pub Friday night. Started on me Saturday for no reason, spat at me told me I make him depressed etc etc. I tried diffuse situation but doesn’t get me anywhere

Yesterday drank 4 cans of Stella then started on me. Calling me useless, controlling, I moan about everything. I don’t.
Today has drank 1l of Baileys, verbally abused me, every time I speak told me shut the fuck up. Called me a rat, a cunt, a thick fuck

Hes got history of doing this. I have stupidly sent him my rainy day fund in a hope of some peace. I’ve had this for years. Bailing him out whilst I sit at bottom of his priorities. I don’t know why I’ve done it. What’s wrong with me

My miserable life, no friends, don’t socialise, no date nights no little prezzies not even a nice text msg of a morning

I don’t know why I even post this but haven’t got irl friends talk to. Don’t have any friends full stop anymore.

How dare you be so judgemental to a woman who is already being abused. It is not her fault that her child is around this abuse. It's her partner's fault.

People with views and opinions like yours make it harder for victims to leave. You're abusing her too. Disgusting behaviour. She's reaching out because she's suffering and you're kicking her while she's down. You should be ashamed.

He sounds absolutely repulsive. Please get him out of your and your child’s life. Things will be so much better for you when he is gone. No one should be treated like that.

It is not her fault that her child is around this abuse. It's her partner's fault.

Hmm, it kind of is. OP's the one putting up with this and letting her child(ren) live in this abusive relationship.

OP wrote after cataliguing how vile this man is no date nights no little prezzies not even a nice text msg of a morning . It's not as if any of those will make things better

And this

My house but he constantly threatens to move out cos he knows he gets his own way. I’m a gullible mess.

"Threatens to move out?" - he'd be no loss if he did.

It's all very well criticising Hazylazydays for being judgemental and say "be kind" but OP needs to take a long hard look at herself.

You can think what you like but I’m entitled to an opinion as much as anyone else. The OP has already stated it’s her house, unless she musters up some Inner strength to actually do something she will be back on here again next week saying exactly the same thing, you see it on here week in week out. She needs to be pro active or nothing changes, her child is an innocent victim here, living in that household, she needs to fight like a lion to protect them.

Dont argue with him when he threatens this. In fact call the police to report the abusive piece of shit. Report his abuse. Get ring cameras.

She is also an innocent victim. And you are blaming her. Victims of abuse will not be more likely to leave when those they turn to for help attack them.

Inner strength is hard to find when you're being abused. I should know. I've lived it. If I'd been criticised for staying so long with my ex, during the time I was thinking about leaving, I might not have had the courage to go.

OP it is not your fault you are being abused. I hope you aren't put off asking for help. Advice is available if you want it. Please keep talking.

You need to get onto your bank ASAP and cancel the transfer, tell them you got the details wrong. You need that money to leave him.

Hard agree. She’s in a better position than most. Even if she has to change the locks and throw his stuff out of a window while he’s out. That’s a positive first step. I’ve had the depressing feeling from the start of this thread that OPis here to vent and nothing more.

Why is she putting up with it? BECAUSE SHE IS BEING CONTROLLED.
I really thought we'd come a long way since the 'why did she stay?' days.
Sadly I was wrong. I'm shocked amd disgusted by the victim blaming on this thread.

Absolutely agree. Anyone can end up in this situation. It's very easy for someone as close as a partner to manipulate you if they want to.

This.
As a 22 year old I was full of sass.
Fast forward four and a half years and I was a shadow of my former self. A hermit with a huge lack of self esteem and worth

Anyone that spat at me would not be in my life anymore!! That's disgusting and hugely disrespectful. Get rid of him.

You deserve so much better than this.
It's really hard but you can have a much nicer life than this.

I have NC.
The only person I ever spat on was the disgusting fucking wanker who SA my child. I was not a planned action, I lost my shit when I found him.
I was more angry than I ever thought possible. Never felt rage like it since.

It's a vile thing to do, I can't imagine doing that ever again but certainly not to somebody I'm in a relationship with and share a child with.

Remove him from your house as soon as possible (and you feel safe to do so)
You can report him for assault. The police may assist in removing him.
Stay safe

Do you want your dc to think this is normal? To think this is how they should treat a partner, when they're older? Or how they should allow themselves to be treated? Put his stuff on the front lawn today and change the locks.

One day you'll be nostalgic for those lovely peaceful, stress-free days after you threw this waste of blood and organs out. Better days are ahead.