He has me in tears

[zebraprintxmasdinner]

Posted before about partner and his temper
Saving up for a car makes him in a bad mood which in turn he has been taking out on me

Lasy weekend he went pub Friday night. Started on me Saturday for no reason, spat at me told me I make him depressed etc etc. I tried diffuse situation but doesn’t get me anywhere

Yesterday drank 4 cans of Stella then started on me. Calling me useless, controlling, I moan about everything. I don’t.
Today has drank 1l of Baileys, verbally abused me, every time I speak told me shut the fuck up. Called me a rat, a cunt, a thick fuck

Hes got history of doing this. I have stupidly sent him my rainy day fund in a hope of some peace. I’ve had this for years. Bailing him out whilst I sit at bottom of his priorities. I don’t know why I’ve done it. What’s wrong with me

My miserable life, no friends, don’t socialise, no date nights no little prezzies not even a nice text msg of a morning

I don’t know why I even post this but haven’t got irl friends talk to. Don’t have any friends full stop anymore.

Spitting on someone is absolutely disgusting. It shows complete contempt for the person. Think about it, would you do that to someone you liked, let alone loved? He does it to you because he doesn’t love you, he doesn’t even like you.

His “nice” behaviour can’t make up for the shit he puts you and your child through. He’s probably not even nice at those times, just not completely vile. It’s crumbs to keep you onside and him under your roof (that I bet you are paying everything for.)

This has gone on for so long you’re blind to how appalling it is. That happens because shit like him gradually increase the abuse over time. Get some support in real life- people you can trust and Women’s Aid. Whatever it takes to permanently get him away from you and your child

Advertise for a paying lodger.
Move the abusive one out.

Please don't put up with this, the next person he spits at could be your child.

Spitting on someone is pure contempt.
I wouldn't be surprised if violence will be on the card's soon,punch a door,wall then he will cross that line and it will be you.

@zebraprintxmasdinner come on OP this is no good for you . Also your proof kid thinking this is how mum is treated. .

You have gave him your cash.
So next step tell him he is leaving. You aren’t trapped you are choosing this life !
Either pack his bags while he is at work and leave at the gate . Send a clear message if he comes near the house you will call the police. .He is an abusive man. .
He drinks abuses you and then you hand him your cash . Hasn’t he got it sorted. .

Please find the strength to put this man out for good .

Get rid of this parasite, if not for you then for your child.
I see the ‘Freedom programme’ mentioned a lot on here- google it. Contact women’s aid, get some advice.
It won’t get better and he will likely get physical at some point.

Which region OP? I’ll be your friend! I completely know the trapped feeling. You deserve better.

Sounds like a terrible situation in which to bring up a child. Get out. His behaviour is abhorrent! Your little one is learning that this is ok behaviour. Run!

If you can’t do it for yourself, do it for your child. If your life is miserable, how much more miserable is it for your child. That rainy day fund, what could that have done for your child. It’s difficult and will take time, but the first thing is to get him to leave as quickly and quietly as possible. Once you have a safe space and stop walking on eggshells you will see things more clearly and start to heal. There are better times ahead, help is available, but you need to be brave and take that first step.

Good grief. He actually despises you.

Do you think that if you’re nice to him he will suddenly realise how valuable you are to him? Because he was nice to you when he was trying to get with you?

When he is confronted with you kicking him out he will work very hard to get you back on side. Be ready for it. Accept you’ve lost that money.

He will probably find another woman and slag you off to her. Nothing you can do about that. Have some strength and dignity. Don’t take on another one until and unless you’re confident you know how to set boundaries.

All the best.

And just because you don’t have friends now, it doesn’t mean this will always be the case. Once you’re free and happy your energy will be different. You will attract friends into your life. Right now your energy is low and you are struggling to even be a friend to yourself. Let this be the first step! You’re stronger than you think. He sounds vile.

Why on earth are you putting up with this? If you won’t leave for yourself, you need to do so for your child’s sake.

A litre of Bailey's 😳🤢
I hope he was sick as a dog.
This man is an abusive bastard with issues.
You don't have to live like this.
🍀

Op, you're in an abusive relationship. Please talk to Women's Aid or local domestic abuse services about how to get out.

Get rid.
Can't believe you gave him your fund. Hope it wasn't loads . You've lost that , now lose him .

You are wasting your life and providing an awful environment for your child. Be strong and kick him out - don’t waste another day on this poor excuse of a man.

he sounds horrible and abusive op. I know it’s not easy but it really is time to make him leave for you and your child’s sake.

He'll start on your child eventually. Get him out, even if you need some relatives with you as backup.

Have you any family or friends who can help?

Your partner is the person that is meant to make you happy; to make you feel safe; the person you look forward to spending time with and the one to navigate through life together. What you have is none of this. Get him out. Life is too short to waste time on a moron.

Spitting on someone is absolutely disgusting. It shows complete contempt for the person.

It can also be assault can't it?

He tells you to stfu, calls you a cunt & a thick fuck?

There's nothing he can ever do to make up for that.

Tell him to move out! Think of your child and yourself and get rid of asap

You don’t get a choice because you’re not only putting yourself at risk anymore, now you have to leave him for your child’s sake. You are allowing an abusive alcoholic access to your child, in your own home. It has to end, today.

Get rid of him, change the locks.

If it’s your house OP, tell him you’ve had enough and he needs to leave. And then follow through. He’s lowered your self esteem to rock bottom if you’re accepting this kind of abuse as the norm. You’re not married and he has no claim on your property. Kick him out and then get CMS involved so he contributes to your child. You and your child deserve much better than an abusive, alcoholic arsehole who emotionally blackmails you into getting his own way.