AIBU to think family should wait for us to order

[CatherineRose16]

I am away for 2 nights in a hotel with my 2 sisters and our families to celebrate my oldest sisters birthday. I am the youngest sister. My older sisters are very close and I often feel a little left out with my sisters. Anyway we had a meal booked for 6.30 in the hotel restaurant last night. My kids wanted to go for a swim so we did that before the meal. My sisters and their families went for a drink in the bar. Anyway at 6.15 my sister texts me to ask were we coming for the meal. We were just getting dressed after the swim so I replied yes, we will be there at 6.30. We arrived at 6.30 and they were already seated and had ordered their food. So it ended up that they were eating their food and were completely finished by the time our food arrived. My kids had to sit and watch their cousins eat and it just made me very uncomfortable. My nephew told my kids that they were late (we were perfectly on time for the booking). If we had known sisters were going early we could have spent less time in the pool. AIBU to be upset about this? I obviously didn't say anything to my sisters as I didn't want to argue on my sisters birthday but it's just another time where my sisters have made me feel bad about myself.

When we stay in a hotel we usually meet in the bar an hour or so before dinner for a drink. I'd think it was really odd of someone didn't arrive in those circumstances til the time the table was booked.

And plenty of people - me included - would find it odd to turn up an hour before the meal was booked unless drinks were specifically mentioned.

It is rude and they should have waited.

Meeting up earlier for drinks should have been communicated to you.

Eh? What does that have to do with them ordering food before OP was even seated when she was on time? Why would they order early

I have literally never heard of arriving 15 minutes early for a meal booked at a certain time! If anything my friends and I would give each other 10-15 mins leeway after 6.30 to arrive, this is just bizarre.

Did they mean the actual eating of dinner had to start at 6.30..?

The table was booked for 6.30, not eating time.

Why? What for?

You've assumed quite a bit here

If there is a plan to go to the bar that everyone knows about fine. It's clear there was no explicit plan or certainly not one that was shared with the OP.

If a booking is for 6:30 and there has been no discussion about turning up early for drinks then you turn up at 6:30

Are you one of those people why the up 15 min before you have been invited to a party or dinner?
That's rude

If there was only 15 minutes between them arriving and you arriving it’s a bit hard to believe they ordered, got served and completely finished eating before you got served. Anyway, if there was a plan to meet in the bar did you know about it? It does seem weird to go swimming right beforehand and stress the timing to the limit.

Presume?
That's weird. Just as ordering before the actual booking time is weird. And rude

Yep, posts like this are so strange. It's like they deliberately make up whatever they can to make someone unreasonable.

I'm surprised so many people turn up early to a table booking, most restaurants I've booked at don't have it free til the time booked as they're either turning it over from last sitters or those people are finishing up, if the sister didn't explicitly say 6:15 to order drinks then turning up at 6:30 isn't a faux pas, they could have ordered drinks and maybe light starters if they were that starving and waiting for you guys for main courses as they were early, you weren't late.

No she wasn't
It was however really rude of them to not even be able to wait 15 minutes for you to arrive, or tell you they were starving and already seated so they were going to go ahead and order.

No, they ordered before we arrived. Their food came after we arrived but our food did not come until after they were finished eating so we were watching them eat.

Yeah I am also surprised. Some restaurants don't even get you seated until the whole party arrives.

Perhaps you and your sisters just have a slightly different outlook on life? Is there a big age gap? It’s possible they had a conversation earlier in the day about having a drink first and hadn’t even really realised that you weren’t there to hear it. Or perhaps they were being a bit petty because they felt you were going off and doing your own thing with the swimming. Maybe they knew what time you got out of the pool and assumed you would be longer than you were and decided it was too long to wait. You probably could have arrived a little early and they also should have waited for you to order so I can see it from both sides, I think perhaps the depth of your hurt relates to your wider relationship rather than the specific incident which in isolation would be spoken about and moved on from quite quickly. For example, you could have asked ‘hang on a minute why did you order without us?’ in a lighthearted way and they could have answered ‘sorry sis the kids were hangry, doesn’t matter though,will hang on for dessert’. So yanbu, but perhaps see it from their side too.

Bloody hell, that's super rude and weird. I'd understand it if you'd been half an hour late but you were perfectly on time.

There's no unwritten rule about arriving at restaurants before the time your table is booked.

What?

This

Thanks for your reply, when you say I could have arrived earlier, what time would have been good?

It’s not like turning up at a restaurant though: they’re all staying in the same hotel, specifically to celebrate the sister’s birthday. Going off and doing something else that means you avoid their company until the dot of 6.30 implies that you’re more interested in having your own fun without them but will squeeze in the obligatory dinner.

Your sisters WERE deliberately rude. Even if you were late they should have allowed a few mins before ordering. Seems the two of them get on well but have a different relationship with you for whatever reason. It's sad but rather than work yourself up about it focus on your own family and building close friendships

I'm not sure why so many people are defending them. You don't order without someone who isn't late.