to be fed up with some pregnant women collapsing into a heap of uselessness?

[ILIketoMarmiteMarmite]

OK this is not going to go down well BUT I wish some pregnant women would not act as if they were Jane Austen women lying on chaise longues with the blinds drawn (and MN open) waiting for their confinement.

On a thread yesterday or the day before there was a mention of respect for women who give birth and so on, and as a mother myself (and heavily pregnant again now) I appreciate what a big deal giving birth is, and what a big deal raising children is. But pregnancy is not an illness. You can still mow the grass, get the required amount or more done at work, act in a reasonable manner, carry your shopping etc etc. Women who are strong and healthy should not turn into delicate little flowers who cannot be disturbed or asked to do anything in case they are upset. Nor is pregnancy a get out of jail free card for being a horror to your dh or dp.

I think I am annoyed by woman at work who has nothing wrong with her (as she delightedly reported over coffee) but takes at least one sick day a week off work because she finds it hard to get out of bed!! She's also always moaning that her dh doesn't do everything for her.

OK now come to think of it I can't actually think of any Jane Austen women who were preg. And I DO realise that some people have difficult pregnancies, but most don't.

OK maybe IABU but hey, indulge me cos I'm pregnant!

Maybe IABU too but I sympathise! (and I am pregnant). I think some people do use it as a bit of a "get out of jail free" card.

I am all for treating the pregnant with consideration (and happily accept seats and help when offered!!) but I agree, there's no need to act like you're made of china and are the ONLY woman in the world ever to have experienced morning sickness/fatigue or whatever.

There do seem to be a lot of wimps about, don't there? I worked f/t till 2 weeks before ds1 due, and remember running down the street on the actual due date as I needed to pick something up from a shop and hadn't any change to put in the meter.

I looked like a brick shithouse at the time, sprinting along the street ....

Tell you what, when I was pregnant with the DTs, and DS was under two, I really really struggled. Yes I carried my own shopping etc, and did a bit of hoovering, but I would have struggled doing much more. I was so bloody tired and uncomfortable, and I was not even huge, didn't have SPD or any other problems, just could not have physically lifted heavy things even if I wanted to and could no way have stood up all the way to work on a train (was not working, but hypothetically speaking, if that's the right term ).

With my first pregnancy I felt great, and really could do more or less everything I did when not pregnant. Second one was very different.

YANBU if the woman is having a trouble free and normal pregnancy. The woman in your office is definitely taking the mickey and not doing other pregnant women any favours by making pregnancy an excuse for skivving.

BUT we don't always know if people are struggling so I think we have to give people the benefit of the doubt.

I probably went too far the other way and made a superhuman effort to appear as normal as possible and over compensated for people's perception of pregnant women by doing more than usual.

I got told off several times for moving heavy boxes around at work and I painted the hall when I was on maternity leave (only the ground floor bit not the stair well so not as awful as it sounds). I personally have too much pride to allow people to run around after me if it wasn't necessary so I can't understand women who just give up for 9mths.

YABU.
Be grateful that you have had easy pregnancies and spare a bit more sympathy for those of us who were permanently exhausted and needed all the help and sympathy we got. I blame this type of "I'm pregnant not ill" view for the fact that many of us had to struggle to stand on public transport.
On the other hand I agree that pregnant women who are "well" should not expect time off work.

My SIL was exactly like that! She has now got 2 DC (same as me) but both pregnancies were an excuse for her to lie around with the whole family running around for her! Since she's had number 2 my MIL is taking her DD1 'off her hands' constantly to 'give her a break' even though DD1 goes to nursery on most days anyway. I however, have hardly received any help!! Bitter? Me? No!!

Forgot to say I did still hoik DS1 (sturdy toddler) up and down steps every day in his pushchair up to the day I gave birth to DTs. I kind of got on with the things that had to be done, but nothing that wasn't necessary.

YABVU. It's typical of someone who has an easy pregnancy - absoultely no understanding of women who really suffer during pregnancy.

Pregnancy may not be an illness in itself, but it can cause illnesses - just search hyperemesis gravidarum on mumsnet and you will find some awful stories.

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hmm I think YANBU AND UABU.
Whilst I agree that some women can powerhouse thru pregnancy with no problems there are others who do not find it as easy going. I have a friend who had SPD so bad that she couldn't sit in a chair long enough to get any work done, whilst I don't have this problem I wouldn't be overjoyed at having to mow the lawn as I would be achey the next day and it would take me 3 times as long as usual as I get out of breath much more easily.

Whilst pregnancy is not an illness or disease I think it is ok to admit to yourself you can't do all the things you could do whilst non-pregnant and there is nothing wrong with accepting help with heavy bags or a sit offered on a train.

Some people do get very sick and unwell during pregnancy you know. There are sorts of things that can go wrong.

I had three very healthy pregnancies, bouncing around like a skinny bean with a basketball clamped to my front, and then a 3 month (doomed) one during which I hardly moved from the sofa I felt so ill. There's no telling which you're going to get. I think you ABU.

pregnancy certainly felt like an illness to me for the first 16 weeks...and i was distinctly unreasonable...as you are now.

Of course I appreciate that some people become ill during pregnancy, or have pregnancy-related conditions - I am not talking about those people AT ALL.

But how do you know that your colleague is not those people?

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duchesse - because we are preg at the same time (she is a bit behind) we keep up with each other & she tells me how fine she is feeling, and that on her sick days it's just because she doesn't feel like getting out of bed. I feel that too, I can tell you, but I still haul my ass out and get on the train.

Ultimately, though, she is wrecking her career and you are not... She sounds like the kind of person who might take a week off for a cold, frankly.

ok OP.

asome days i can barely get out of bed due to morning sickness and terrible headaches. i sat in darkness last week sorting out laundry, as the light hurt my eyes due to a migraine. i often sleep in the afternoon as am exhausted.

But other days I am doing houseowrk (like today), mowing the lawn, gardening, (i do send dh to do the shopping as i do end up feeling sick due to the bad lighting in the shops), picking up kids from school, cooking etc.

I have good days and bad days. and the bad days are very very bad.

You're kidding me, right? I think that an awful lot of women have difficult pregnancies, me included (OK, so I'm biased ). It's bad enough feeling like crap all the time, without having people look down their nose at you.
The reason why you feel fine when you're pregnant isn't because you're bloody marvellous, it's because you're lucky. I had three days of early labour (no sleep) then 14 hours of back-to-back agonising active labour, vomiting throughout, then 4.5 hours of pushing, and at the end of it I felt wonderful and was practically skipping around because the pregnancy hormones had gone away and I didn't feel completely leaden and exhausted all the time. DD didn't sleep, and so that feeling didn't last but I think that it illustrates just how much pregnancy drags me down.

I had high blood pressure, puffed up like a baloon and felt awful but I carried on pretty much same as normal until the midwife told me either I slowed down or she would admit me to hospital to force me to. Actually she put me on BP tablets which made me sleep all the time so I had no choice in the end

I can remember one pregnant girl I worked with in an office who shut herself into a meeting room every afternoon for a nap - but then she was a complete wimp even before pregnancy.

So either she doesnt feel as great as she says or if her pg is really trouble free she is taking the piss.

I don't remember remarking that I was bloody marvellous. And I have said twice that I do appreciate that some people have difficult pregnancies and/or pregnancy-related conditions.

The point is healthy women with normal pregnancies using pregnancy as an excuse for idling, being irritable with dh, being unable to do things, etc etc.