to be fed up with some pregnant women collapsing into a heap of uselessness?

[ILIketoMarmiteMarmite]

OK this is not going to go down well BUT I wish some pregnant women would not act as if they were Jane Austen women lying on chaise longues with the blinds drawn (and MN open) waiting for their confinement.

On a thread yesterday or the day before there was a mention of respect for women who give birth and so on, and as a mother myself (and heavily pregnant again now) I appreciate what a big deal giving birth is, and what a big deal raising children is. But pregnancy is not an illness. You can still mow the grass, get the required amount or more done at work, act in a reasonable manner, carry your shopping etc etc. Women who are strong and healthy should not turn into delicate little flowers who cannot be disturbed or asked to do anything in case they are upset. Nor is pregnancy a get out of jail free card for being a horror to your dh or dp.

I think I am annoyed by woman at work who has nothing wrong with her (as she delightedly reported over coffee) but takes at least one sick day a week off work because she finds it hard to get out of bed!! She's also always moaning that her dh doesn't do everything for her.

OK now come to think of it I can't actually think of any Jane Austen women who were preg. And I DO realise that some people have difficult pregnancies, but most don't.

OK maybe IABU but hey, indulge me cos I'm pregnant!

No, I don't think YABU,
I have met many a woman who decides because she is pregnant the world must stop, well, I've got news for you lvoey tons of us are doing it every day, then when we are no lnger pg, others do it, it's normal for a woman to be pg.

Not sure about the staying in bed thing, cos there are times I've been pg that I've really not felt able to function without more sleep, but then having other DC's have normally had to get on and do it anyway.

It's only once in our life we are first-time mothers so maybe we should allow peopel to indulge themselves when pg that time and just smile a knowingly smile that they won't be doing that when they have a toddler/older children to cope with too!

I speak as someone who has had relatively ok pregnancices, but with HG for a good six months and fortnightly trips to the hospital so I can see from both the bad and good pg sides.

define ill - one person's cold is another person's flu!

Agree with Sis.

At the end of my 2nd pregnancy, if people asked me how I was, I said 'Great!' because I was over the hyperemesis and the baby was doing fine. And because 'the baby's pressing on my bladder' was not information I wished to share with my colleagues.

I was, in fact, a total wreck. I only got through it thanks to some sensible people on Mumsnet saying 'Look, you're clearly not coping, you clearly need a rest and you need to take some time off work', which I had been trying really hard to avoid doing.

You just don't know how someone else feels.

I'm not a doc, RS - but I think with part of the pregnancy package you get, as free gifts, tiredness, achey back, crampy legs, multiple loo visits in an hour (perhaps that is what is EffiePerine's "bog deal" ), unpredictable reactions to things, crying jags, plus dealing with body shape, trying to "present" oneself for work reasonably smartly, and lots of other stuff that is difficult to deal with, but probably IS dealable with - and doesn't make you "ill" unless you have it to an extreme and find it disabling.

And of course spd, hyperemesis, pre-eclampsia, of course they are all illnesses.

Look - if you've something wrong with you, fine. If you haven't, get on with things. That's all I'm saying.

certainly looks like you cant win either way.
i agree that for some people pregnancy is not a pleasant experience with pain, sickness and various other horrid things. I do sympathise with them a lot. Plus the fact that there are lots of hormones whizzing around making you crabby/happy/crabby/happy.

In Sri lanka for instance the moment you are pregnant you are treated like that delicate flower you mentioned. My family over there were horrified that I was still working and scrubbing floors on my due date (I was actually doing it on purpose to get the flipping labour going - didnt work btw so dont bother trying it) whilst my cousin was being tended to like she was going to melt.

I also agree that if someone is feeling fairly well in their pg then whilst I would accept help when offered, I wouldnt milk it for what it was worth just for the sake of it. If you are poorly then fair enough but if you are well, well, be grateful and get on with it.

i'm sort of pleased i'm not going through pregnancy again. sitting on an office chair with a bad back then getting the tube home argh it was awful. i wish i'd milked it more at the time really.

oops

Charming typos make me like you even if you disagree with me!

Having had a difficult pregnancy where I was on bed rest, spent a month in hospital plus a few other stays, three scans a week (whilst on bed rest and no other way to get there than the bus) I do get cross at women who are healthy and can't appreciate what they've got.

It can be annoying. Been there 3 times and found it exhausting each time, but somehow got through it all without making a big deal of it. I worked all the way through the last one - only stopped a week before the baby was due (3 days before he was born). Totally wiped out. And when you see someone playing the primadonna when there is no discernible cause. However I tend to look at it as 'more fool me' than anything else. I should probably have whinged more and tolerated less.

sorry to hear about all of that TinkerbellesMum I thought in circs like that there was some sort of nhs taxi service.

YANBU. There is a woman at work who has been driving everyone mad with her pg. She is not having a hard pregnancy but refused to move from her desk from 14 weeks because "she was too heavy". She won't go to the vending machines or get her own drinks due to her pg, demands the blinds are shut at all times because she is pg and actually asked another pg lady in the office to go get her a drink from the coffee machine as she couldn't.

I understand if you are genuinely are having a bad time but I can't stand those who milk it. Roll on when the woman I know gets to 7 - 8 months then she will know what heavy is lol

But a lot off the time spd, hyperemesis, pre-eclampsia can be unseen by other people!

I worked until 36 weeks with dd [went into hosp for a check due to protien & had her that night] and had 2 days off during the whole time before that.

1 - I woke with such a headache/migrane that I could barely get out of bed & the other, I was given the day off to collect 24 hours worth of urine. My boos kindly thought that it would be easier at home.

All through that pregnancy I told myself things were OK. I told everyone it was OK, even tho I had protien ++ from 30 weeks & swelling & BP that crept to 140/110...

Why? Because all my friends sailed through pregnancy & I didn't want them thinking I couldn't cope.

This time, I couldn't care who knows how crap I feel, because it isn't a competition!

I suffered from hyperemisis all throughout my last pg and still went to work everyday, commuting and hour to and from the office (stopping at motorway services to chuck up) and worked right up until the day before i went into labour.

Admittedly i am tough as old boots, and probably made of stronger stuff than most by the sound of it! but i think the more you mope about feeling sorry for yourself the worse you feel, you just have to get on with it dont you.

I had 3 bad pregnancies. PE with dd and had her at 36 weeks, she stayed in scbu a week. Early contractions with ds1 which worsened the more I did, had to have steroids to mature his lungs (same with dd). Ds2 my waters broke at 22 weeks and I was on bedrest for the remainder. Even moving about too much had me leaking more and having contractions.

All 3 were scary but ds2's was the worst as I spent half my pregnancy terrified that he would be born early/ill etc.

I've also had 5 miscarriages which made me very worried with subsequent pregnancies too.

The hospital has a taxi service based there, but I didn't know till after, if I had I would have asked about it.

I didn't say I live on the top floor of a low-riser and there is another staircase to get to the bus stop as the road is about level with my flat! I could barely walk.

Not looking forward to my next pregnancy because I will need to spend more time at the hospital next time because they're expecting pre-term labour and I have a toddler this time!

lol VinegarTits

Are you a little unreasonable because you're pregnant ? Is really pregnant women who annoy you or lazy people that would find any excuse to do nothing?
I am pregnant with my fourth and felt completely exhausted especially at end of school and bedtime (my children's not mine) but with noone there to take over at times I just get on with it. TBH my dp treated me like a goddess during my first pregnancy and worse as they've gone on!! I still get regular foot massages and the odd bath run, but that's because I'm really tired.

YABU, pregnancy is not an illness but can carry lots of ill-like effects and medical complications.

I think there is a problem that women don't always let on how they are getting on. Everytime someone at work asks me how I am I say fine as to be honest I don't want to detail to them how I am actually feeling and they don't want to know, it would be the same for a pregnant work collegue I wouldn't swap stories with her either as she is a work collegue not a friend.

I think YABU - you do not really know what someone else's pregnancy is really like. my pregnancy so far has been normal in that my blood pressure, bloods, urine, heartbeat etc have all been OK.

So I was exactly like you - doing things normally, working as much as before, regular gym (although at a reduced pace) etc etc... Guess what - I then collapsed 2 weeks ago on the way to work (at the tube station); I could not remember where I lived or where I was for about an hour and had to be signed off for 3 weeks for exhaustion... Even if in itself my pregnancy is still "normal" in that there is "nothing wrong" coming back from the tests. Perhaps if I had been a bit more careful and slowed down etc this may not have happened

Good for you that you are able to go to work normally etc, but I feel you are being quite judgemental of your colleague.

Well PosieParker I guess you are right - it is lazy people that annoy me. I don't think non-lazy people go bonkers when preg, other than that of course we all go a bit bonkers.

AND yes I am probably being unreasonable because I am preg but I am ALLOWED because I am PREGNANT .

I find it's the most surprising people who do collapse. I have a colleague who is a bit of a hypochondriac, always moaning about something or other but she sailed through her pregnancy. I'm generally a hearty sort but had dreadful morning sickness and was told to take it easy after a massive bleed at 15 weeks, then suspected cholestasis and pre-eclampsia and then SPD and polyhydramnios. It was crap. Having said that, I only took 3 days off throughout my pregnancy and that was to rest until the bleeding stopped