to be fed up with some pregnant women collapsing into a heap of uselessness?

[ILIketoMarmiteMarmite]

OK this is not going to go down well BUT I wish some pregnant women would not act as if they were Jane Austen women lying on chaise longues with the blinds drawn (and MN open) waiting for their confinement.

On a thread yesterday or the day before there was a mention of respect for women who give birth and so on, and as a mother myself (and heavily pregnant again now) I appreciate what a big deal giving birth is, and what a big deal raising children is. But pregnancy is not an illness. You can still mow the grass, get the required amount or more done at work, act in a reasonable manner, carry your shopping etc etc. Women who are strong and healthy should not turn into delicate little flowers who cannot be disturbed or asked to do anything in case they are upset. Nor is pregnancy a get out of jail free card for being a horror to your dh or dp.

I think I am annoyed by woman at work who has nothing wrong with her (as she delightedly reported over coffee) but takes at least one sick day a week off work because she finds it hard to get out of bed!! She's also always moaning that her dh doesn't do everything for her.

OK now come to think of it I can't actually think of any Jane Austen women who were preg. And I DO realise that some people have difficult pregnancies, but most don't.

OK maybe IABU but hey, indulge me cos I'm pregnant!

and these women who confine themselves after giving birth!

instead of lacing up their plastic boots and strapping on their crampons and tackling K2.

what's with that?

they're not even pregnant anymore.

how can they be so useless?

Sorry, I've now read the thread and this jumped out "I think the thing is that fatigue, like pain, is subjective."

Yes it certainly is - if you are the one who happens to suffer the pain or severe fatigue then it's bloody awful and you struggle to cope. If you're lucky enough to escape them then you cope just fine and wonder what the fuss is all about.

haven't read through thread so please scuse if out of sync with general tone...

well, my mum carried on regardless, living the high life, working flat out, running around london etc...

until she was rushed into hospital in the last couple of weeks with high blood pressure/pre-eclampsia and nearly died (as did my brother who fortunately was born by emergency c-section)

I also know plenty of women who gave birth incredibly easily and with little pain. I wouldn't extrapolate anything from either experience but I think we should all cut ourselves a little slack and let people go through their own pregnancies in the way that best suits them and their bodies. We're not all the same, you know!

But that's what i meant by subjective.
Everyone feels tiredness differently. It is not possible for somebody to tell another that they are not really that tired.
You're the second person to take offence to that post. I'm confused.

but what about if they're in your garden and not around a cockrel?

do they need to be round a cockrel to lay?

this thread has confirmed my belief that there ain't no sympathy in this world anymore (not that there ever was of course )

Fatigue is a total nightmare. If you have ME, or chronic depression, and are silly enough to get pregnant as well, it's a kind of living hell.

I had to come off ADs in pregnancy, spent the first 3/4 months vomiting and crying, the next 5 mostly crying and snapping and feeling really guilty cos I was doing that. Self indulgent eh?

sorry, wrong thread

you have my sympathy limecrush

Where's Xenia? Didn't she hold down four full time jobs, mother seven children and manage two marriages, three nannies and a dishwasher in her last pregnancy?

very funny expat!

that's what happens when you try and multitask between chicken and pregnancy threads!

you're not pregnant are you?

Sorry, it's just that I was in a similar position to limecrush - ie pregnancy fatigue on top of ongoing recovery from a post-viral syndrome. And it was bloody horrendous and my boss did not understand - she was the most unsympathetic piece of you could imagine. So I'm pretty sensitive about it.

I guess I took your post to mean that some people cope better with fatigue than others - which is rubbish IMO. There are different grades of fatigue and if you have the worst you ain't going to cope with it, no matter how determined you are.

i'm pregnant, yes, harpo.

see what happens when the hen gets round the cockrel?

i'm pregnant, yes, harpo.

see what happens when the hen gets round the cockrel?

YABU

I felt like I was dying in all three pregnancies.Very severe sickness that needed hosptal intervention then spd that resulted in me being bedridden following months of painful pyhsio that made no difference.

Thing is I would have done ANYTHING to feel well. I used to see other pg women and feel such a failure.

Nothing could have prepared me for how bad being pregnant felt for me. I thought that women bloomed. I just felt so bad but I have to say, its so worth it.

By subjective, I meant that fatigue or tiredness isn't something you can quantify or measure. so you can't directly compare to somebody else. There are too many variable factors.
it is ridiculous to say, 'I'm just as tired as you, but I make it to work'

When pg with DS, if I felt too tired or unwell, I wouldn't go to work for that day.

It probably pissed people off but I didn't care - my baby was my priority and if my body said rest, I listened to it!

Besides, whats with all the loyalty to work??!! Companies will let you work your arse off for them, then when you are mortgaged to the hilt and have a lot of commitments, happily flip you off in favour of some poor bugger working overseas for a pittance to do your job!

too right, choos!

More fool you if you're knackered but put your sense of duty/ superiority before your own comfort and safety.

Nothing virtuous about that imo.

If you're loyal to work for the sake of it, regardless how they treat you, then you're a fool. Most of the time they don't care two hoots about you, so why should you care about them? If you love your job that's one thing, but it's pretty selfish to put your job before your health when you're pregnant IMO.

My problem was that I felt utterly cr*p and I was severely overworked. Every time I took any time off or left early using flexi-time it just made the situation even worse as the work built up even more. I got so stressed about it I ended up being really ill and depressed and signed off for a couple of months. And you know when I returned to work my boss didn't even have the courtesy to ask how I was?

And Expat - congrats on expecting!!! You should name change to EXpectingPat!!!

Pregnancy is a pretty huge deal for your body, actually. If you are fortunate enough to breeze through, lucky you. But it is not unreasonable to feel exhaused - you are growing a baby and a placentra from scratch.

The extra blood volume alone puts a real strain on your body - my regular medicine had to tripled, IIRC, to make up for it. As in, if you were taking two paracetamol pre-pregnancy, you'd have to take six during pregnancy to get the same level of pain relief - except taking beyond the recommended dose without specific medical advice would be really bad idea, so don't try this at home, kids.

placenta, even, dunno what happened to my typing!

you are clever as well as right, puss .

thanks!

if you're lucky enough to be short like me, too (i'm 5ft., 3in.), your baby takes up a huge amount of your torso, squishing up your organs and making you feel even shittier.

When is your baby due Expat? I'm getting broody for no 2 but still have 2.5st to lose from DS and am quaking at the thought that I could put on another 4st like I did with DS!! I'd be bloody whinched out the house for the birth and would appear on YouTube or similar....

i'm due on halloween!