to be fed up with some pregnant women collapsing into a heap of uselessness?

[ILIketoMarmiteMarmite]

OK this is not going to go down well BUT I wish some pregnant women would not act as if they were Jane Austen women lying on chaise longues with the blinds drawn (and MN open) waiting for their confinement.

On a thread yesterday or the day before there was a mention of respect for women who give birth and so on, and as a mother myself (and heavily pregnant again now) I appreciate what a big deal giving birth is, and what a big deal raising children is. But pregnancy is not an illness. You can still mow the grass, get the required amount or more done at work, act in a reasonable manner, carry your shopping etc etc. Women who are strong and healthy should not turn into delicate little flowers who cannot be disturbed or asked to do anything in case they are upset. Nor is pregnancy a get out of jail free card for being a horror to your dh or dp.

I think I am annoyed by woman at work who has nothing wrong with her (as she delightedly reported over coffee) but takes at least one sick day a week off work because she finds it hard to get out of bed!! She's also always moaning that her dh doesn't do everything for her.

OK now come to think of it I can't actually think of any Jane Austen women who were preg. And I DO realise that some people have difficult pregnancies, but most don't.

OK maybe IABU but hey, indulge me cos I'm pregnant!

Anaemia really and truly does knock you for six.

You can be as subjective as you like, but if you develop anaemia, you will feel incredibly fatigued.

I've had four easy pregnancies and would have thought similar to the OP if it wasn't for my sister who had v difficult pregnancies in the early stages and I KNOW she wouldn't have put on an act, she isn't like that. I try to be more understanding to other women now. I make all the right noises etc, even if I don't actually know how it feels like to be so ill.

Dragonbutter if you mean that some people weakly allow themselves to give in to fatigue, while others feeling the same way just bravely carry on, I would like to go on record as thinking that that is insulting bollocks

I think women usually conduct themselves during pregnancy in keeping with their general character. If they are slackers who like a nice kip, pregnancy will be a great excuse for them. If they are stoical trojans, they will continue thus and will only slow down if really suffering.

I don't think being pregnant changes somebody's character.

Oedema causes your organs and circulatory system to struggle to function properly, taxing your energy even more.

Not to mention the extra weight stressed your joints, back and feet.

If you are one of the lucky ones to get rhinitis, sinusitis or acid reflux, your sleep will be extremely broken and may lead to panic attacks.

So you feel even more exhausted.

And Franny is right, statistically, a 19-year-old is probably going to cope better and develop fewer unpleasant side effects than a 40-year-old.

Seinging the lead is one thing and obviously no-one should do this

But I really remember a bit of an unpleasant gang of young lawyers all muttering venomously "pregnancy isn't an illness, it's a condition" when a girl got pregnant in the office and had a bit of time off

She really was ill, and it was more than a little chauvinistic

Before anyone accuses me of being on my high horse, I fall into the slacker who likes a good kip category

No no no.
I meant that everybody feels it differently and that the OP couldn't possibly comment on how somebody else was feeling.

Yes women should get up on the roof and tile it when they're pregnant, then cook dinner then give their bloke a blow job.

What's so admirable about being a martyr and carrying on struggling when you feel like shit? If you feel the same when you're pregnant as you do when you're not pregnant, congratulations, but why would you think you have the right to judge how other women should feel/ act when they're pregnant?

In short, yes, YABU.

I thought my first two pregnancies were hard until I had this one, most days I am close to tears and wonder how the hell I can carry on.

Last weekend was the utter pits, as well as the constant SPD, I pulled a muscle in my shoulder and could hardly use my right arm, my chest hurt from the coughing from my chest infection, nevermind peeing myself everytime I coughed, had a constant headache and toothaches from sinusitis and have taken so much paracetamol my baby will be born without a liver at this rate.

I have a 3 and 2yo to look after, no family help so never have a break and today in the park I could hardly push my 2yo on a swing. If one of them cries upstairs I have to leave them to it as it hurts so much to get up.

Sorry don't know why I shared that, I do think some women who are lazy arses anyway treat pregnancy as an illness especially the ones who are the "first woman in the world to get pregnant types" what pisses me off is not actually being able to do everything I want to.

I haven't read the thread, so sorry.

But the OP makes me seethe.

I had SPD in my last pregnancy and could not work for four months. Everyone acted as though I was hamming it up, my employers made remarks about 'enforced leisure' and, yes, the phrase 'chaise longue' did come up.

I was in constant pain for months before the birth and months afterwards.

Plus, unfortunately, DD2 was very poorly at birth.

Lots of women do not breeze through pregnancy, and there's is too much pressure on women these days IMO to act as though pregnancy was nothing when in fact it can take a massive, massive toll on the body.

ah you see Dragonbutter I had got cross so i thought everyone was saying more things to make me more cross

sorry I misunderstood

sweetkitty
hope you get some relief soon

phew!

thanks franny arm is better, chestinfection is clearing and I am continent again, all symptoms are set to go in oh about 9 weeks

it does my head in i worked full time and did all the usuall things untill two weeks before i gave birth although i had a very easy pregnacy so i dont know if id have been so active if i had a hard pregnancy

I was vomitting every day for three months about 10 times a day, and went to work everyday I lost a stone, I was nuts to do that, I should have been at home on my chaise longues with the blinds drawn (and MN open) waiting for my confinement. There is too much pressure on women to carry on as normal when pregnant.

Some women cruise effortlessly through pregnancy and others really struggle.

Same with birth.

If pregnancy and/or birth have been easy for you then that is great. Just don't assume it is the same for everyone.

OP really pisses me off tbh. Women are physically different. Pregnancy can be a huge pressure on the body and can take a toll which many women simply never fully recover from. Nobody should need to be a hero during pregnancy and feel required to carry on as normal.

It's probably the one time women can indulge themselves. If they want or need to be the fainting belle, let them. They are going to be working bl**dy hard once their child is born. Leave pg women to it even if it means a bit of shirking. So what?

Ooh I only read the OP so apologies if it's moved on... But I arrived at work most mornings with inward tears at the treatment on the tube.

Most days I sat on floor as no-one gave up their seats and with changing tubes and pushing around etc and trying to protect the tum every day while people stamped on me etc I felt really distressed by the time I arrived at work every day. I used to have to hold the bump rather than hold onto the rail. As when you're all squashed in people think there is a space and shove when in fact your big tum is in that space.

It was awful and yes I prob was a bit rubbish at work for an hour in the morning until I had recovered and for a bit before going home worrying about what might happen.

I suppose if people were a bit more understanding to pregnant women they wouldn't end up in such a state and would be able to work harder and behave more normally throughout their pregnancies.

You can still do those things IF pregnancy doesn't make you very ill, or so completely exhausted that you virtually fall asleep standing up. Just be very grateful you are having a straightforward pregnancy and have some regard for those who don't.

And btw when I was pregnant my health and my baby's health were paramount. If my boss thought I was shirking (which I wasn't), well that's just tough.

And since when was growing another life inside you not a big deal physically and mentally? Have I missed something?

Bring back confinement! That's what I say