To think my mum over reacted. Photo attached

[Lou989]

I was washing my hands at my mums, a bit of water went on the stainless steel bit where the pots dry. She got annoyed saying she’d spent time doing it today. It was only a bit of water. So threw. A piece of cutlery at my hands whilst they were still under the tap and said I was selfish. Haven’t done anything wrong I don’t feel

That's something, I'm glad she said that.

Your mother does need help managing her anger, Lou, but may not take kindly to you suggesting it. I must say, in your place, I'd be scared to mention it. If there are others in her life, she is bound to lose it with them at times, perhaps one will say something or take action if she goes for them.

It's a sorry business. Where do you go from here in your relationship?

Have you suggested that she go to the doctor about her obsession with cleanliness and her violent response to you getting a few drops of water on the draining board?

It's no good being ashamed but not addressing what lies behind the irrationality and violence.

Jesys Christ! What an appalling way to live.

She sounds like a bit of a psycho. I would have a stern chat and say she is right to feel ashamed and if it happens again you will report it to the police. There could be a time when she flips out completely with a child and seriously hurts them. It's not impossible and it needs addressing now.

My thoughts too, early onset dementias such as FTD and vascular often start or show with unreasonable behaviour.
The knife thrown was extreme, but the issue with water in the sink is unreasonable in itself and concerning.
Defo something is not right.

I'm glad you don't live with her.. she should feel ashamed.
Say your not going to let her treat you like that ever again and to get help .

I think I would tell her not to contact me again until she was ready to apologise and reassure me she would never do anything like that again.

She may feel ashamed but it's likely that this behaviour will worsen, given there've been at least two incidents, without her seriously taking an in depth look at -why- she's behaving like this.

Am I right in thinking the excuse version- throwing the knife violently into the sink near ops hand- is also not OK. It doesn't matter if it was an accident or not.

Looks sore - she was being unreasonable. Is she menopausal? She might need some help if so? Sorry your hurt 😢

Late 50s. She could be going through the menopause.

I’m not defending her behaviour, but if she’s feeling bad about it, perhaps suggest she sees a Dr. I know that feeling when rage rises; it physically hurts. I’ve never thrown anything at my kids, but I’ve had to exit rooms quickly, which also hurts them because they can see my irritation. I have explained it all to them- it’s in no way anything they have done, but I had a responsibility to get treatment too.

Agee, do we go back and ask the snake why it bit us and sympathise or do we get away from the snake?

Good grief, that's your contribution? I really despair. Someone needs to tell the police/womens aid, when they get a call about DV they can do your "is it bleeding" test and, if not laugh at her and put the phone down.

AI Overview From Google

While violence or aggression can be a symptom of dementia, it's not typically considered a sign of early dementia in the UK; it's more likely to occur in later stages, and is often a result of confusion, frustration, or pain that the person with dementia is unable to communicate effectively, rather than a primary symptom of the disease itself; always consult a medical professional for diagnosis and support if you suspect dementia.

She’s nuts. That’s one hell of an over reaction. Sorry, haven’t RTFT. Do you live with her?

That sounds like the police when they were searching for the woman in the river. They publicised more about the menopause than anything else, giving that the reason for her missing.

I said when they are looking for a man they should - in the same vein, be saying his is missing through impotence! They never do though. They will criticise women over the menopause, but have you ever heard them describe a man as impotent?

The problem is that we don't really know if it was the knife or the water was too hot. It looks more like a burn than a cut.

We can only answer on the facts the op gives us.

Get a grip - no criticism of women in my post. Ops mum was being unreasonable. Menopause makes women unreasonable and she might need help. End of story.

And the photograph. Is it possible the OP was washing cutlery under the hot tap?

Does it though? To that extent? Should menopausal women even drive? Should they do anything at all if the risk is that great?

No wonder some religions don't employ them, or women during periods.

Is there no limit to the effects of female hormones?

What shite. You say you're not criticising women, then write "menopause makes women unreasonable"

Seriously, you absolutely are a misogynist.

Oh do come the fuck on. Sudden emotional outbursts do happen with plunging oestrogen. I’m through it and out the other side. I had at least a few emotional outbursts when I was perimenopausal, but was capable of continuing all aspects of my life. Are we to pretend that only misogynists believe that menopause can be the cause of an emotional roller coaster. During the past year in the UK there has been serious discussions (including increasingly amongst MPs) for women to have some flexibility at work during menopause. You may think there is no issue. You either had a very smooth menopause, or you are not there yet!

I’m actually a menopausal woman but there you go 😆

OP message it clear that her mum had a temper. It's not just this incident.

And I find that using the menopause to excuse the mother throwing a knife at her own daughter just ridiculous.

If the mum is so obsessed about cleanliness that a few drops of water is enough for her to do this, she needs help. This is more likely to be OCD (not the 'I'm a bit ocd', the actual serious condition) and she needs to go to her GP, tell them what happened and ask for help.