Is this normal for a grandparent

[Custardcreamsbetterwithtea]

to send the following text?

"Hi Custard, Just checking on dd's age on 3rd of March, is she 8yrs old? What type of cards does she like?"

Dm is 70, and compos mentis. She will show photos of her gcs to others, and acts like is is really involved. She has no other grandchildren. I feel saddened by the message. She sees them every school holidays, and has never been any support, and can be quite selfish. I did think she knew how old they were though. Do I say anything to her?

I think you’re maybe overthinking it- my dad always has to check how old I am/ when my birthday is, and we’re very close.

My DM was like this, she had dyslexia and was bad at dates too, I didn’t think anything of it.

I can't say that would bother me to be honest - I can barely remember how old I am most days.

My DM is of a similar age and its not inconceivable that she'd want to double check the age of either of my kids before, say, buying a birthday card or something similar. And she's asking what kind of thing she is into for the card (and maybe gift) - better than buying any old crap she might not like.

I suspect a back story, because I could not get worked up over this to be honest.

Completely normal in my experience.

I sometimes forget how old my niece and nephew are and I adore them and seem to have all my faculties. My niece is the same age as one of my kids.

My dad could never remember how old we were.

I check the kids birthdays with their parents, and also get what clothes size they are wearing and Im ten years younger then your mum

My kids are adults every year for decades mum has asked "what age are they" I really wouldn't be too concerned she just wants to get it right.

It sounds like a nice message, I can’t see what’s wrong with this. How many years out was she? Was the date wrong too?

For many people time really does fly!!
Maybe be glad she is thinking of your dd and of her birthday?

My FIL is exactly the same. He checks every time. He always says it's since we lost mum, as that was "her job", but she was just as bad in all fairness and would phone me to check long before she died bless her.

My mum was a young mum then gran so she is just early 70s now so even in her 50s she asked every single birthday.

I'd say unless you talk about the dc age regularly it's quite easy to get mixed up

I've got to the age where I have to think twice about my own age!

Don't fret on it 🙂

I spent ages the other day working out whether my grandchild who lives overseas is one age or the next age. I ended up working it out by working out what age they were when they last came over. I have since written their birth year on my calendar too so that I don't have to think about it again.

I am really good at cards and presents but with a younger child would ask what they are into ad I would rather send a fortnight than a Minecraft or a Spiderman than Superman if that was their preference and no as a grandparent I didn't always know what was "in" this week as often what was in 6 weeks ago was ugh now!

Cut her some slack and be thankful she has asked and you can guide her appropriately so that your child had the better experience.

Oh me too 😂

Tell her to put the year of their birthday in repeat calendar entry that’s what I do as terrible at this for children.

No, don't say anything - about this, anyway. This is trivial.
It's a shame she doesn't provide support but some GPs don't and there's nothing you can do about it.

Haha yes there is a bit of back story, you're spot on; I won't go into it, but we haven't had the best relationship. This maybe contributes to why it irriated me.

No, dm has never bought a gift herself, she gives me money, then I go out and get it, wrap it and write a tag out from her. You're right, it is good she asked for the card at least.

Seems fine to me.

My dad, 74, gets my name wrong, forgets my birthday let alone the kids. I think it's normal.

I'm a Gran. When l start a new calendar in January, l go through it and on grandchildren birthday l write how old they are on that day-- from what they were the previous year.

I agree with PP, you are overthinking it. Easy to get it wrong. Also on choice of card.

I think that’s perfectly normal. They don’t want to get it wrong, or get something inappropriate for their age etc.

Better to check, then get something to old/young for her.

DH forgot his own age last year - he had to ring me and ask

I really wouldn't look too much into it.

My DM is a couple of years older and doesn’t know who I am any more , don’t fret the small stuff.

I’ve been known to scroll back through Facebook to check brith announcements / previous birthday to check on age 😬