Is this normal for a grandparent

[Custardcreamsbetterwithtea]

to send the following text?

"Hi Custard, Just checking on dd's age on 3rd of March, is she 8yrs old? What type of cards does she like?"

Dm is 70, and compos mentis. She will show photos of her gcs to others, and acts like is is really involved. She has no other grandchildren. I feel saddened by the message. She sees them every school holidays, and has never been any support, and can be quite selfish. I did think she knew how old they were though. Do I say anything to her?

I always need to check the ages of my nieces. I just can't remember but I see them most days . My dad is the same with my age. I don't think there's anything wrong with her asking and quite sweet to check to make sure she gets the right age and ask re type of card. She couldve just got a general card but probably knows kids like the ones with numbers. Chill.

It is odd.

My parents would ask that about my children (their grandchildren) but they are now in their 30s.

However, if your mu m has never been involved with your child, I'm not surprised she's lost count.

I have to double check the ages of my nieces and nephews sometimes, and I'm only in my 40s - to be fair there's 8 of them. I'm usually ok up to about 5 and then I start to get lost. On its own this wouldn't bother me, but if it's against a wider background of seeming disinterest then I can see why it would.

Just checking especially if getting a card with the age on. I always doubt myself when buying for nieces and nephews. Better to check than get it wrong.

My ds asked me what day he was born and it took a minute for me to remember. I'm 38 and have 3 kids. Sometimes certain things slip your mind and at least she had the foresight to check with you. I'd let it go.

Completely normal and a lovely touch that she asked what cards she likes.

My mum knows but my dad has no idea, well he knows they are in their 20's I hope, he also probably doesn't know my age, never has, it's not age related

I personally wouldn’t ask, but I often forget how old my grandchildren are ( only by a year 😄 ) so have to check my own notes! haha.

My dad was the same. He often forgot my siblings birthday, it's only because I was born on December 25th that he remembered mine.

To be fair, I have several GKs and usually need reminding of dates and actual ages and I'm a lot younger

My DM doesn't know my age! I do think it tells me something.

Perfectly normal ''How old is Grandchild now, and what does she like?

No harm in that.

Jean Cocteau was bought a teddy by a relative who hadn't seen him since he was a child, and assumed he was still the same age.
Cocteau was 21 at the time!

It's a joke in our family that the one sister who keeps track of how old all the (14) nieces and nephews are gets a flurry of messages shortly before a Birthday.

Or we'll desperately scroll through our photos to find the Birthday cake pic from the previous year. We love them all.

I now mark the age they're going to be on the calendar when I put their Birthdays on, so now there will be two sisters in the know.

Today, I've been sat trying to work out the age of my adult niece. I'm quite close to the her. Very close to my mum but sometimes her her age mixed up. It's normal.

I forget how old everyone is.

Thoughtful to ask what kind of cards she likes. Although I don't think it is necessary.

Do you dislike her?

Sounds like you're looking for a reason to criticise her.

It's just nothing to be upset about.

Sounds like my parents . They used to forget too. I wouldn't read too into it.

My dad probably knows my age within a year or so, and would get the month of my birthday- his family didn’t make a big deal about birthdays, I wonder if that makes a difference.

I had to double check how old my son was the other day! And always forget how.old my siblings are and I love them all. It's easy to forget.
It doesn't mean she doesn't love your daughter. I think the message was kind. Checking what she would like and just making sure she got the age right.

If any consolation @Custardcreamsbetterwithtea my delightful and adoring/adored ILs once went out for their wedding anniversary on DH's birthday and sent him a birthday card on their anniversary 😂They're the same month but that's it! I struggle with dates and ages - even for people I love.

There is absolutely no way my DFIL knows how old my DH is, how old I am, and definitely not how old my teens are. He could probably guess to within a couple of years. But I know he adores all of us. Not retaining that level of information isn’t an indicator of how much someone cares about you.

I think this js pretty normal - I forget how old my youngest is sometimes

We have a shared google calendar for birthdays (you can just set them to repeat every year), and thanks to this thread I'm going to add everyone's year of birth to it!

Seems quite sensible to me.
People say children grow up so fast these days, so she might be 9 or even 10 by now!

My pretty fit and well stepdad has just checked out youngest’s age, upcoming birthday. He thought our son was 20, he’s 22 😁

Pretty normal, I’d say. They don’t want to get it wrong on the card.

We all forget things from time to time as we age.

Sounds perfectly normal and reasonable to me. I can never remember the ages of children I know (friends children, nieces, nephews, colleagues children that I sometimes talk about) even my closest friends baby I have to ask how old she is to remind me, even though she's one of my favourite people!
Sounds like she wants to double check she's correct and wants to get her something she likes. Asking the parent is usually the best bet!

Note I even sometimes forget how old I am myself!! Have to literally count from my birth year to check how long I've got left til I'm 40!