Is this normal for a grandparent

[Custardcreamsbetterwithtea]

to send the following text?

"Hi Custard, Just checking on dd's age on 3rd of March, is she 8yrs old? What type of cards does she like?"

Dm is 70, and compos mentis. She will show photos of her gcs to others, and acts like is is really involved. She has no other grandchildren. I feel saddened by the message. She sees them every school holidays, and has never been any support, and can be quite selfish. I did think she knew how old they were though. Do I say anything to her?

My own mum thought I was 32 this birthday. I'm 33. She is only 67 and only has three of us to remember about!

I often get muddled with ages of other children now, when they start school it all starts to blur!

I have to write everyone's age on the calendar on the day their birthday - shocking bad and we only have 8 nieces and nephews between us as well as 5 other god children. Don't even ask about friends kids birthdays i just buy them a car without their age and give money if we are invited😂🙀And to note i am in md forties 😅

Perfectly normal, I often have to check.

I think we are all different. I have 8 GC and I can reel off their ages, date of birth. I frequently go through a list of names when calling them, so I might go John James Michael David, when John James and Michael are my sons and David is the GS I'm talking to. Not their real names.

I can do numbers but names defeat me.

Maybe it could be something like that? If not then I think it is poor, if she knows she is poor with ages she could write them down.

Just wanted to add I'm 71 if that helps. I can also tell you the birthdays of my kids and their partners although I struggle with ages of their partners although I could give a close guess.

I'm in my second year of being 46 as I accidentally skipped 45.

Only having 1 DGC might make it harder to remember. I know how old my DNs are by triangulation their age using my DDs.

My DM inexplicably decided to write the date of my birthday in my card last year and got it wrong.

Im 69, ompos mentis as you put it, but I quite often have to check my (very much loved) grand children’s ages!

as for my own age ……..

I'm only 60 and I'm the same, but I have got 7 to try to remember.

I know my birth date, mothers and DDs - and that's it

I don't know any ages without calculating from the date

I get what you are saying and agree with you totally on how you feel.
But i actually hate with a passion cards that say granddaughter sister etc - I go out of my way to buy cards that don't say that. I cringe when i get cards off my mother at xmas say to my daughter and her husband 😩 I do not buy birthday cards that say happy birthday niece or nephew.

I think you’re overthinking.

Your mum clearly remembers the date but not the year. This is understandable. The years fly by and it’s easy to skip ahead one or forget one in your minds eye.

My dh’s brother forgets his three dc’s birthday date despite the fact that he lives with them .
My dm only remembers her eldest grandchild’s birthday .She is an active grandparent to all her grandchildren

She maybe compos mentis but as you get older you do start to doubt your memory on somethings. I’m 66 so I know. At least she considers it important enough to check

I think you are way over thinking this. I heard my dh the other on a work call say he has an 11, 10 and 5 year old (our eldest is turning 13 in a few days and middle is 11!). People don't always remember ages.

“Hi Custard, Just checking on dd's age on 3rd of March, is she 8yrs old? What type of cards does she like?"

Did she get the age and date right? Not a bad thing for her to double check just to be sure. It might be because she has a busy life? If so, be thankful you’re not in the position of being her only focus. That can be draining!

Over the years, I’ve had a few Mum friends who’ve got the age of one of their own children wrong!

I love my Grandchildren more than you can imagine. Every year i have to check their ages. As for my adult children it is a guessing game as to how old they are, when they were young i could tell you to the month how old they were, now they are over 21 and that is all i need to remember. Crikey i have been telling folk i am 58, i am not, i am younger.

I write down when friends and relatives' kids are born in my phone contacts so I always know how old they are.

My husband said my daughter was 5 yesterday, she overheard him and was uber indignant, 6 and a half! Bet he won´t forget again, or being him he will...

I am GOOD with dates, but still have to think carefully about DS2's DOB sometimes. His due date was a significant family date, and he was born two days before it. An entire decade later and I still occasionally have to remind myself he was born on 12th, not 14th.....

Agreed. I can’t remember the exact age of my nieces and nephews. No big deal 🤷‍♀️

Thats so terrible sad. I watched it with my dear friend and her mother.

dear god - I sometimes have to check my own age, and I frequently get my DCs muddled up.

Team Grandma

I used to do this with step grandchild. Obviously I didn’t see her much as she mainly lived with her mum and I lived hundreds of miles away. I’d rather my dd bought something the child liked/wanted/ fitted her than some random thing I thought she might like.
My mother never sent a gift on time for any of my dc birthdays. And one Christmas my 10 year old got two bars of lavender soap and £5 as a gift. 😳

I think if she hasn't been particularly interested then it's not a surprise.

I think it's odd as I always have a bday written as dd/mm/yy iyswim.

Habit picked up from Mum & Dad!

I don't always remember off the top of my head mind!

It's so normal. I always lose track of neices and nephews and even have to think about my own teen children. GPs always double check!

I can understand your initial hurt OP. I think age is a funny thing, how many people do you know ( men usually) who don't remember their own DCs ages, ( I have one of those) and your MIL obviously wanted to get the age right or she wouldn't bother asking. Kids grow up quickly, the days go by quickly as you age and unless she writes their ages or birthdates on the calendar each year...well she must ask. Having the character trait of being selfish and unsupportive doesn't have much to do with someone's memory for dates and ages I don't think, and at least she wanted to get their age right?