Is this normal for a grandparent

[Custardcreamsbetterwithtea]

to send the following text?

"Hi Custard, Just checking on dd's age on 3rd of March, is she 8yrs old? What type of cards does she like?"

Dm is 70, and compos mentis. She will show photos of her gcs to others, and acts like is is really involved. She has no other grandchildren. I feel saddened by the message. She sees them every school holidays, and has never been any support, and can be quite selfish. I did think she knew how old they were though. Do I say anything to her?

I suppose for me it is a representation of how little she bothers about us. it’s never about the thing is it!

Very normal to forget an age of a child , especially at 70. I would just laugh to myself personally and not think more of it

I do not think this means that the GPs love them any less. My dad gave DS a sum of money for his 21st birthday and nice card... only he was 20 not 21. Not really a big deal, just slightly embarrassing for GPs. With hindsight I might be tempted just to remind them how old they are. Quite good if they ask what GCs would like and check with you first. The drum kit my dad brought the kids lives in infamy

70 is not old.

That a different story and i get you . My mother is always late with my Birthday card. Its not a hard date to remember, its a huge bank holiday and festival date here. Also her birthday is a few days later. I might get it a month later ( after me making sure i send her birthday card in time). It will say the cringy happy birthday my beloved daughter etc but it will go straight in bin as i have taken the rest of my cards down. It will be also a present that i dont use or like cause she doesn't really know me well, so will be given away or donated. Someone told me many years ago you cant change the way she treats but you can change how you deal with it. rise above it

It really is. There is a high chance of some memory loss as we get older.
It's not a put down, it's just a fact.

Yes, of course 70 is old! It's past retirement age.

It’s not. It’s very unusual for memory loss to be noticeable at 70.

I'm nearly 45 and I just stopped and wondered if my grandchild turns 7 or 8 this year, so it's definitely not an age thing.

Completely fine I'd have to check my nieces / nephews

I do think 70 is regarded as old.
I do think age-related memory loss is common and it's things like Birthdays and ages of people which older people may struggle with.
Whether this is noticeable or not depends on many factors.

Me too!! I had to ask my Mum how old I was 😂

Why on earth would you say anything to her? I’m not really sure what you are complaining about. I’m younger than her and I lose track of how old some of my grandchildren are

Totally normal. I absolutely adore my neices and nephews but do occasionally forget their ages (or at least have a moment of doubt!) I don't think I would offended if someone needed to double check my DCs birthdays either.

I think it's quite normal.

I like my FIL, but can never remember the date he was born on. I always have to double check his birthday every year.

Completely agree, expecting them to have a change of personality is futile. I suppose at least mine shows she doesn’t care across the board rather than not caring but then sending a gushing card , hmm perhaps that would be worse!

Oh don't be silly. If 70 is not old, all those people can come back to work, give up their pensions and all their discounts. Someone can die of old age at 70.

At least she's asking .....

Nobody under 100 dies of old age any more. It’s only acceptable as a cause of death on a death certificate for a very, very old person with no diagnosed disease.

A quick google give me "“Old age” is not a cause of death. In 2022, “old age” was removed from official documents as a cause of death and replaced with “aging-associated biological decline in intrinsic capacity.”

Now, that age related biological decline sounds quite a lot like old age to me!

An elderly relative had "frailty of old age" on his death certificate. Is that not used now, it wasn't that long ago.

No, not used any more. My aunt’s GP put it on her death certificate very reluctantly when she died eleven years ago because she had no diagnosis of any condition. She was 104 and he said he could only do it because of her great age and there was no alternative. He said it was the only time he’d given it as a cause of death in 20 years of looking after that particular care home and, after Shipman, it’s viewed with suspicion.