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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Leaving 7 year old alone?

147 replies

Rumpapapum · 06/02/2025 07:50

School gate is supposed to open at 8.45 but the teachers usually stroll out and open it as slow as possible at about 8.48.
2 days a week I have a train to catch and it’s cut very fine, if I stay those extra 3/4 minutes then 9/10 times I just miss the train I need.
Outside the gate at that time there’s usually a queue of atleast 50 kids and their parents.
WIBU to just leave my 7 year old in the queue at 8.45? I asked another mum and she said if she spots her she’ll watch her but can’t guarantee she’ll be there. I don’t know any others. Other option is breakfast club at £7.50 to save 3 minutes.

AIBU to leave her?

OP posts:
DUsername · 06/02/2025 07:53

Absolutely no way I'd do this. It sounds incredibly frustrating but £7.50 is actually a small price to pay for ensuring your kid is safe

TickingAlongNicely · 06/02/2025 07:54

Your timings are too tight. When does school actually start?

Penguinmouse · 06/02/2025 07:55

Could you ask another parent to watch your child for those five minutes? And then offer a favour in return like helping with getting their little one home occasionally.

Porkyporkchop · 06/02/2025 07:57

I had a placement years ago and the supervisor asked me to leave my child at the gate so I could get to work on time (always 5 mins late)
i never did this!! I paid for breakfast club in the end. I couldn’t believe This was even asked of me!!!

purpleme12 · 06/02/2025 07:57

Do you mean that they're waiting in the school grounds/school playground?

If yes and you're confident she'll stay there then yes I would do it.
You could get her a phone to have with her so you know where she is as well

ranoutofquinoaandprosecco · 06/02/2025 07:58

I'd totally watch your child for you if asked, do you know quite a few of the other children's parents? I'm sure they wouldn't mind and you can always pay it back at some stage if they're running late to pick up etc.

Moonnstars · 06/02/2025 08:00

No. If I knew there was another parent I could leave them with then I would go, but I wouldn't leave a 7 year old on their own.

DUsername · 06/02/2025 08:04

It says in the op that she has asked the one parent she knows and she couldn't guarantee she could do it.

Channellingsophistication · 06/02/2025 08:06

I’d only do it if I knew a parent will definitely watch her otherwise no I wouldnt.

jeaux90 · 06/02/2025 08:07

Channellingsophistication · 06/02/2025 08:06

I’d only do it if I knew a parent will definitely watch her otherwise no I wouldnt.

This or I'd pay for the club two mornings a week when you have to catch the train

Answeringaquestiontonight · 06/02/2025 08:09

I would either leave with another parent or pay for breakfast club.

Didimum · 06/02/2025 08:10

Email the school and ask that the gates are opened on time.

JimHalpertsWife · 06/02/2025 08:12

It wouldn't be 7.50 for 3 minutes though would it? You could make full use of the breakfast club, save having to sort breakfast for dc, dropping them as soon as BC opens and either make you way into work earlier and with time not to stress or get some tasks done while you wait for the train?

As it is, it's probably only for a couple of years then dc can be left at the gate alone

Whaleandsnail6 · 06/02/2025 08:13

Sorry, I think you need to pay for breakfast club.

This is one of those situations where it is "probably fine" but it just wouldnt sit comfortable with me.

JimHalpertsWife · 06/02/2025 08:13

Didimum · 06/02/2025 08:10

Email the school and ask that the gates are opened on time.

I mean, this too. If they've said the gates open at 8.45 then they ought to be.

MuggleMe · 06/02/2025 08:17

There must be other parents in your dcs class waiting to go in. I'd 'watch' any child from my dd's year for a couple of mins while I'm there anyway.

rainbowstardrops · 06/02/2025 08:17

Just pay for Breakfast Club. Better to be safe than sorry. How do they charge? Is that 15 minutes, 30 minutes, an hour? Drop her off there and then you've got plenty of time to catch your train without stressing.

SnoopySantaPaws · 06/02/2025 08:24

If there are 50 people in the queue, then there are 50 people to ask surely. Ask someone while you're there don't rely on someone who's not already there.

And no harm in speaking or emailing the school about opening the gates on time explain it's making you late for work. You getting into work on time isn't their problem but they should be opening at the time they say they're opening

Alternatively, can you make any arrangements to maybe work through lunch or whatever to make the time up without being late to pick up from school?

LittleBird74 · 06/02/2025 08:25

Depends on various things really:

Where are the gates? Are they stood by a busy main road or are they set back within school grounds?

Is she 7 nearly 8, or just turned 7? Does she know where she needs to be and what she needs to do?

Can she stand with friends/classmates with their parents around? I would absolutely watch someone else’s child at school for a few minutes whether they were a friend of DS or not.

Can you pop an air tag in her bag to give you peace of mind?

Also, speak with school about opening up on time.

SunnyCrab · 06/02/2025 08:33

My family live in Scandinavia where it’s not uncommon for 7 year olds to walk/use public transportation on their own to get to school, and travel home and wait a few hours for their parents to come after school so I think from safety POV you’d be fine! But from a judgment from teachers/other parents not so sure!

Crazycatlady79 · 06/02/2025 08:36

I don't see any issue with this and I'm sure a 7 year old would be fine for a few minutes.

Person1234 · 06/02/2025 08:40

I wouldn't do this. 7 year old is still very small.

HRTQueen · 06/02/2025 08:40

SunnyCrab · 06/02/2025 08:33

My family live in Scandinavia where it’s not uncommon for 7 year olds to walk/use public transportation on their own to get to school, and travel home and wait a few hours for their parents to come after school so I think from safety POV you’d be fine! But from a judgment from teachers/other parents not so sure!

my friend lives in Germany and this is common there too

but they do bring children up from a young age to be more independent than we tend to here

I would personally pay for the breakfast club leave a little earlier so you are not so rushed. I was in a similar situation op it does get much easier in a few years time

MumblesParty · 06/02/2025 08:40

MN is always very scathing about school gate chatting, with many posters advocating the “drop and go” policy, avoiding talking to anyone, avoiding the nasty evil cliques, school mum politics and so on. I worked hard at talking to as many people as I could in the playground, so that when I needed favours, there were people to help. OP I would suggest you try and make some friends, or at least acquaintances, in the school playground. Then there’ll always be someone happy to watch your son for a couple of minutes. Or you could speak to the school. If they’re meant to open at 8.45 then you should be able to drop your son safely at 8.45.

Catza · 06/02/2025 08:41

As above poster, I walked to school by myself from the age of 6 and back home to spend a few hours waiting for my mum to come home. The entire country does it. So I would quite happily allow a 7-year-old to hang out in the crowd of 50 by the school gate for 3 minutes. Wouldn't even cross my mind that there was anything wrong with it.