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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Leaving 7 year old alone?

147 replies

Rumpapapum · 06/02/2025 07:50

School gate is supposed to open at 8.45 but the teachers usually stroll out and open it as slow as possible at about 8.48.
2 days a week I have a train to catch and it’s cut very fine, if I stay those extra 3/4 minutes then 9/10 times I just miss the train I need.
Outside the gate at that time there’s usually a queue of atleast 50 kids and their parents.
WIBU to just leave my 7 year old in the queue at 8.45? I asked another mum and she said if she spots her she’ll watch her but can’t guarantee she’ll be there. I don’t know any others. Other option is breakfast club at £7.50 to save 3 minutes.

AIBU to leave her?

OP posts:
MisoSalmonForLunch · 06/02/2025 09:55

As above - in Switzerland five year-olds walk to school and back on their own, and it’s considered a bit shameful for parents to insist on going with them. It blows my mind that in the UK we think a seven year old waiting three minutes outside a school gate is too risky.

Goldbar · 06/02/2025 09:57

Didimum · 06/02/2025 08:10

Email the school and ask that the gates are opened on time.

This.

RedSkyDelights · 06/02/2025 10:00

I'd leave her in the school playground but not in a queue outside the gate.

If you do the school run every day, surely you must know some other parents well enough just to ask if they can watch her for a few minutes? For twice a week, just ask someone who is there, don't put any expectation on anyone to do it regularly. Can't imagine anyone having an issue with this.

MxFlibble · 06/02/2025 10:05

Round here this wouldn't be a problem - it's a small school, but another parent would always keep an eye. We're on the outskirts of the city, semi-rural really though, so it might be a bit different to yours?

Goldbar · 06/02/2025 10:05

RedSkyDelights · 06/02/2025 10:00

I'd leave her in the school playground but not in a queue outside the gate.

If you do the school run every day, surely you must know some other parents well enough just to ask if they can watch her for a few minutes? For twice a week, just ask someone who is there, don't put any expectation on anyone to do it regularly. Can't imagine anyone having an issue with this.

It's not a big ask tbh. I don't think it would be taking advantage to ask a parent already there with their kids to keep an eye for a couple of minutes. I would happily do this.

It's not like you're expecting free childcare for the whole half-term with meals, snacks and trips thrown in 😂.

mugglewump · 06/02/2025 10:05

Gates open is not the same as school start, which I imagine is 8:55. If your child is comfortable hanging around alone in a school playground, I am sure they can do it in the street queue. But the school would probably see this as a safe-guarding risk. As a teacher, I don't allow children to go into the playground to collect their coats left out at playtime if the school gates are open, as an open playground is not a secure environment. The safe and sensible thing to do would be to put your child in breakfast club or make a regular arrangement with another parent at the school to mind them in the mornings.

boulevardofbrokendreamss · 06/02/2025 10:10

I used to be in this position, I asked another mum if she could keep an eye on them. We worked opposing days so did it for each other. I had five minutes to make the 6 minute walk to the station, I was a lot thinner then!

QforCucumber · 06/02/2025 10:27

MxFlibble · 06/02/2025 10:05

Round here this wouldn't be a problem - it's a small school, but another parent would always keep an eye. We're on the outskirts of the city, semi-rural really though, so it might be a bit different to yours?

same here, there's many times I've been in school and one of Ds class has come over and said 'my mum has had to rush off, can I stand with you?' and I've done the same with ds, its a small, 1 form entry school and all of the parent sin his class know each other so we can point out in the car park - there's johns mum or whatever and send them on their way,

The school also allow lone walking into and home from year 4 as long as a form is signed off by the parents, ds1 walks in alone as I'm always following with ds2 (who's just started reception) but he goes to childminder after still as although I'd be fine with him walking, we aren't home and I don't want him to come home to an empty house just yet.

WhatALightbulbMoment · 06/02/2025 10:32

I can't see the issue here. How can people be worried about leaving a 7 year old for less than 5 minutes in a crowd of people waiting to get into school? What exactly is supposed to happen?

user2848502016 · 06/02/2025 10:34

No you can't do that! You'll have to pay for breakfast club, it'll save you loads of stress and your DD will be safe.
Once she's 9/10 it'll be easier and you can leave her for a few minutes

stayathomer · 06/02/2025 10:38

I have the same issue op and on those days I drop them into the preschool and yes have to pay ten euro. Once or twice at the start I asked parents could they drop the kids to the school with their kids so dropping my kids to theirs half an hour earlier. It’s awful but just not worth them standing there on their own/ something happening without an adult to help/ me being reported.

HoneyB2025 · 06/02/2025 11:10

@MisoSalmonForLunch Switzerland is different from the UK.

theotherplace · 06/02/2025 11:12

Email the school and ask them to rectify their lateness.

If that doesn't work sign up for the club, annoying but you can't leave her.

HoneyB2025 · 06/02/2025 11:13

@Keepingongoing and this was how many years ago? This is 2025, times have changed and the world much less safer now, kids can't play outside anymore without having a grown up watching constantly.

NoKnit · 06/02/2025 11:13

Both my kids were walking to school alone age 7. Here it is normal to walk alone from 6.

So obviously I think leaving alone outside school gates for 5 minutes is no issue whatsoever

Whotenanny · 06/02/2025 11:16

I would, as long as they were well behaved! I might ask another parent to just keep an eye out for a couple of weeks before you can trust them to not do anything risky.

KarmenPQZ · 06/02/2025 11:22

At the end of the day if you’re confident child will go in happily and not get distracted or worried about being left then I can’t articulate a logical reason why this isn’t safe for a 7 year old to be left by school gates with their peers for 2 mins. My kids, like most thrive on being give a small amount of appropriate responsibility and I would categorise this as exactly that.

that said…. I wouldn’t. We have the same and those 2 minutes can really feel to drag if you’re stressed. There’s always another parent or carer I know at least by face to ask and I wouldn’t hesitate. But I’d also work in my fitness to be able to run for the train to make sure I didn’t miss it. And my calming reasoning that missing a train isn’t the end of the world and neither is cutting it fine.

KarmenPQZ · 06/02/2025 11:24

HoneyB2025 · 06/02/2025 11:13

@Keepingongoing and this was how many years ago? This is 2025, times have changed and the world much less safer now, kids can't play outside anymore without having a grown up watching constantly.

Sorry I agree wholeheartedly with @Keepingongoing The world is much much safer but as a society we’re much more risk adverse.

CurlewKate · 06/02/2025 11:36

Why not just ask a friend if he can wait with her?

berksandbeyond · 06/02/2025 11:44

Depends how much you like your kid I suppose. £7.50 doesn't seem much to keep her

berksandbeyond · 06/02/2025 11:46

purpleme12 · 06/02/2025 07:57

Do you mean that they're waiting in the school grounds/school playground?

If yes and you're confident she'll stay there then yes I would do it.
You could get her a phone to have with her so you know where she is as well

You can't give a 7 year old a phone to take to school. What world are you living in where they'd be alright with a y2 dropping mum a text while they take the register? Ffs

Floralnomad · 06/02/2025 11:46

If 2/3 minutes make so much difference I’d just use the breakfast club to make the whole morning less stressful .

Ossoduro2 · 06/02/2025 11:46

Write to the school and explain what you’ve explained and politely request that they open the gates on time.

Redfred00 · 06/02/2025 11:48

Fuck that. I wouldn't be able to rest all day worrying about it.

MsMarch · 06/02/2025 11:50

The problem is thatyou only know one parent. This used to be a common issue at our school gate and it wasn't unusual for someone to grab someone they vaguelly know and ask them to keep an eye out.

At one point (when we had a different school gate system which was even more restrictive), we even had a group of about 10 on a whatsapp and we'd agree that on any particular day, one parent would be at school 5 minutes early and take on all the kids and any one who needed to get the train would dash off!

Kids are a bit older now so the version these days is more likely someone dropping a child at someone else's house just before actual school run.

You need to make friends with the other parents basically.