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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Leaving 7 year old alone?

147 replies

Rumpapapum · 06/02/2025 07:50

School gate is supposed to open at 8.45 but the teachers usually stroll out and open it as slow as possible at about 8.48.
2 days a week I have a train to catch and it’s cut very fine, if I stay those extra 3/4 minutes then 9/10 times I just miss the train I need.
Outside the gate at that time there’s usually a queue of atleast 50 kids and their parents.
WIBU to just leave my 7 year old in the queue at 8.45? I asked another mum and she said if she spots her she’ll watch her but can’t guarantee she’ll be there. I don’t know any others. Other option is breakfast club at £7.50 to save 3 minutes.

AIBU to leave her?

OP posts:
Zanatdy · 06/02/2025 08:42

I think it would be fine

Onlycoffee · 06/02/2025 08:42

Look at it this way, you're not paying £7.50 for a few extra minutes, you're paying so you can get to work on time and your child is safe.

There's no way I'd leave a 7 year old without adult supervision even for a minute, especially outside a school. You don't know who's around or the possibility of your child wandering off, becoming ill or injured etc

Dramatic · 06/02/2025 08:43

Yeah I would. 7 is old enough to understand they must stay in the queue and not wander off.

SheridansPortSalut · 06/02/2025 08:45

I'd contact the school and very nicely explain the impact of the gates opening late and the dilemma it leaves you with. It probably hasn't occurred to them and you're probably not the only parent with the issue.

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 06/02/2025 08:46

This is stressful for you and DC. Either make some friends with at least 3 parents who are happy to watch DC for a few minutes and who are normally on time themselves, or use breakfast club. Or see if you can start work a bit later?

Ablondiebutagoody · 06/02/2025 08:48

Totally fine. They will just be chatting with their friends for a couple of minutes. What do you think is going to happen?

My son used to want me to drop him off 10 minutes before the gates opened. He enjoyed that time with his friends. Loads of kids around, loads of parents, lollypop man. I didn't give it a second thought.

TonictheHedgehog · 06/02/2025 08:49

You say you only know one parent but is there a class WhatsApp group? Explain your situation there and, unless they’re all weirdly unfriendly, I’m sure plenty of people will say they’re happy to watch your child.

Otherwise you should book the breakfast club and drop them off earlier so they actually have breakfast there. I use ours occasionally and my DC think it’s the most exciting thing ever because it’s a different breakfast to home

caffelatte100 · 06/02/2025 08:51

I would be fine with this

HoneyB2025 · 06/02/2025 08:54

I have a 7 year old as well. This is not even a question to ask. Please pay for breakfast club for those 2 days. Your child is your responsibility and no one else's. Their life and safety is way more important than any job or train time. No amount of money will make me sacrifice or compromise my child's safety. If you do not want the breakfast club, then pay for a nanny to do school drop off on those 2 days or get a family member you trust to do those drop offs. Leaving your child at the gate is not an option.

Keepingongoing · 06/02/2025 09:12

This is fascinating. At 7 or 8 I was walking to and from school with another little girl, on our own, about 10 minutes walk away and including crossing a main road. This was completely normal. Perception of risk has changed so much in my lifetime.

Gcsunnyside23 · 06/02/2025 09:13

I'd email the school and ask for prompt opening as it's leaving you and other parents struggling to make work in time due to trains.
Otherwise it depends on where the queue is? Is in on a busy road, school grounds?
Ours has a bit of an area at the gates where it's off the road and no cars can go on it so I'd let my child wait there with instructions to stay at the top by the gate to enter. Also depends on how your child would be being left

MumonabikeE5 · 06/02/2025 09:17

How does she feel about that? Have you no class parent pals who are standing there? I wouldn’t think twice if I was standing there and you asked me, I’d be happy to make sure she went in, so long as your kid was happy with that arrangement.
I wouldn’t commit to it every day, but I would do it everyday if I was at the gate when you arrived. And if you didn’t get earlier and earlier.

Midlifecrisisxamillion · 06/02/2025 09:23

At 8 and a bit I probably would but not at 7. Breakfast club for another year is worth it I'm afraid. Means you aren't rushing for the train too and don't need to do breakfast either.

mummyofhyperDD · 06/02/2025 09:25

At both of the schools my child has attended children were only allowed to go home alone without an adult from year 6, and parents are expected to hand over their child in the morning so leaving a 7 year old alone to go into school would be noted and raise concerns. Leaving the child with another parent would be fine -

SilverDoe · 06/02/2025 09:28

Given the time of day, they should know many parents are rushing off to work straight after drop off, so I agree that they should be opening the gates on time and would be contacting them to request this.

If you DS was in year 4 and up I'd say go for it, but I think 7 is a bit on the little side and I don't think I'd be comfortable myself.

OwlInTheOak · 06/02/2025 09:32

Have you spoken to school?

kiraric · 06/02/2025 09:35

I would do this with my very sensible 8 year old but I am confident that he knows enough of the other parents that, in the very unlikely event of anything happening, he would know who to approach.

Given that it doesn't sound like yours does know other parents well enough, I think I would do breakfast club this year and then consider it again next year

PeppyTealDuck · 06/02/2025 09:38

You could get in trouble with the school if they noticed this and you can bet other parents would see you leaving before the school gate opens. It would also be terribly stressful for you. I wouldn’t.

insomniacalways · 06/02/2025 09:39

I assume school doesn't actually start until 8.55, so in theory, someone is supposed to be with your child until they are handed over to the teacher at 8.55. This is the case in our school though you can get onto the playground at about the same time you state no earlier as Breakfast Club are using the playground. I would ask on the class WhatsApp or get your child to point out people from their class and talk to them. I'm a massive introvert but it's something I have had to do.

kiraric · 06/02/2025 09:41

insomniacalways · 06/02/2025 09:39

I assume school doesn't actually start until 8.55, so in theory, someone is supposed to be with your child until they are handed over to the teacher at 8.55. This is the case in our school though you can get onto the playground at about the same time you state no earlier as Breakfast Club are using the playground. I would ask on the class WhatsApp or get your child to point out people from their class and talk to them. I'm a massive introvert but it's something I have had to do.

A lot of schools, including the one my kids go to, do a soft start from 8:45 so you can drop and go at that time, they then spend 10 mins having magic breakfast and reading before class starts at 8:45 so it may not be the case that parents are meant to be there until 8:55

ghostboxsters · 06/02/2025 09:45

I have no problem watching an extra children for a couple of minutes if a parent has to run for a train. I've done so numerous times. Ask someone in the queue. Most people are helpful.

Anonymous2003 · 06/02/2025 09:46

If they're standing in a queue of 50 parents and kids for 3 minutes they will be totally fine, it's not as if they are actually being left alone.

IamnotSethRogan · 06/02/2025 09:48

I mean I'm sure there will always be a nice parent about you can ask ? I'd always do this for anyone at the school gates (and have )

I would also maybe have a word with the school and explain them opening up late is causing you to miss your train for work.

BigSilly · 06/02/2025 09:50

If they were 4 or 5, no, but a 7 year old should be fine unless they have form for doing a runner.

Starlight7080 · 06/02/2025 09:53

7 is very young to do this. Would you be able to take her to reception and ask if she can wait with them for a few minutes. If you explain to the school?