Page 6 | Leaving 7 year old alone?

Rumpapapum · 2025-02-06T07:50:43+00:00

School gate is supposed to open at 8.45 but the teachers usually stroll out and open it as slow as possible at about 8.48. 2 days a week I have a train to catch and it’s cut very fine, if I stay those extra 3/4 minutes then 9/10 times I just miss the train I need. Outside the gate at that time there’s usually a queue of atleast 50 kids and their parents. WIBU to just leave my 7 year old in the queue at 8.45? I asked another mum and she said if she spots her she’ll watch her but can’t guarantee she’ll be there. I don’t know any others. Other option is breakfast club at £7.50 to save 3 minutes. AIBU to leave her?

ToKittyornottoKitty · 06/02/2025 18:28

This wouldn’t be allowed at my kids school, it’s a safe guarding issue to walk to/from school alone before y4 and they don’t allow it. Ask someone else to watch her or pay for breakfast club. If it was in the playground it would be different but on the street things can still go wrong if no one is watching. And don’t ask another kid to watch her!

Dramatic · 06/02/2025 18:29

Rumpapapum · 06/02/2025 18:23

Thanks for all the replies.

To answer:
Im not sure when school starts, they go in the gates and parents are not allowed through them, they go straight in. I think after 9 you’re classed as late.
The gates are on a road, not a busy road at all. Impossible to drive more than 5mph during drop off times.
its a very residential area, and the only people really there at that time are parents/kids.
shes a very good child. Never say never but she’s certainly not the sort to run across a road or mess about. She is confident and wouldn’t feel anxious about being alone. She often asks to walk to school herself (don’t worry, she won’t be!)

I feel conflicted as some of the responses here make me feel like I’d be risking her life for the sake of £60 ish a month. Equally I feel she would be fine and it feels mad to consider breakfast club. Lots of food for thought. Of course if I saw a parent I knew, I would annd have asked them. Most parents are like me and not at pick up/rushing around so I don’t think it’s as easy to make friends. I do have a friend who’s child is in year 6 at the school and she is always the first in the queue in the morning (without mum), I did consider asking her to watch her if I don’t see anyone else as she’s very sweet with my daughter but I assume that would be frowned upon too!

I wouldn't see an issue with asking the older child if your daughter can stand with her as long as, like you say, your daughter is well behaved and extremely unlikely to do something daft.

Dramatic · 06/02/2025 18:30

Op is she in year 3 or year 2?

buttercupcake · 06/02/2025 18:35

There is a mum that needs to do this at my child’s school. I don’t know her, or her child, but always keep an eye and make sure they go straight in when the gate opens.

HoneyB2025 · 06/02/2025 18:37

At the end of the day it’s your child, noone on this platform truly knows what you go through on a daily basis, so please do what is best for you and follow your gut. All these mixed views, opinions and comments will only set you back and make you more confused.

CowboyJoanna · 06/02/2025 18:41

Unless you live somewhere extremely busy like central london or manchester your daughter should be fine walking to and from school by herself. She's in the queue yees but shes at school around other children and parents

Whippetlovely · 06/02/2025 18:42

I couldnt leave my son in that circumstance as i wouldnt trust him to stay on the school grounds! We are lucky at our school it opens at 8.25 the tas are on the door and kids go straight to class from that time. If your child is sensible enough to wait im sure it will be fine but they do usually like to see a parent is with a child. Ive seen a ta ask a child where her mummy was and had to get her. I think to make sure they havant just walked alone to school so young.

Needspaceforlego · 06/02/2025 20:16

Dramatic · 06/02/2025 18:14

But this is where the op would have to drum in to her child that under no circumstance must she move from the queue, kids aren't daft and can understand why they shouldn't wander off if it's really pressed in to them.

Show quote history

I think that's it exactly "kids aren't daft" yes kids the same age walked to school themselves in the past or with a group of friends. Yes kids still do in other countries.

The thing that's changed is roads are busier and parents fear their child will be abducted.

I honestly think it would be fine to leave her in the que. I'd maybe get her a pocket toy like a yoyo, something to fidget with while she waits, but I think she'd be fine. I'd be loathed to throw £60 a month away on childcare for the sake of a few minutes

Bowling4soup · 07/02/2025 10:11

Haven't RTFT but once they go inside the gate does the teachers take them straight to class? Or is there some waiting around in the playground first? If it's straight to class I can't see 3/4 minutes alone being a big deal at all

JimHalpertsWife · 07/02/2025 11:04

Bowling4soup · 07/02/2025 10:11

Haven't RTFT but once they go inside the gate does the teachers take them straight to class? Or is there some waiting around in the playground first? If it's straight to class I can't see 3/4 minutes alone being a big deal at all

Worth reading the OPs posts. The gates to the whole school and playground are locked. So any waiting time is on the street, not the playground.

ThesebeautifulthingsthatIvegot · 07/02/2025 19:44

Asking the year 6 child seems great, if they'd be keen. But ask your friend to check in that they don't mind periodically. An enthusiastic year six helper is amazing. A disinterested one would be a risk.

Start as early as possible making a plan for next year...

Sunflower2478 · 07/02/2025 19:55

I have a seven year old and I can’t imagine leaving her like that. I think 7 is far too young and the school would also have an issue with safe guarding. I would either use the breakfast club or ask another parent to watch them if there is someone you know and trust and your child knows too.

SunnyDaySummer · 07/02/2025 20:54

Just plop her in the queue and ask the parent behind if they mind checking DC goes through the gate ok as you need to rush off. It might seem awkward but only a ridiculously uptight parent would mind.

It’s a whole different level of favour to get someone to commit to doing it regularly in advance, as you’re asking them to guarantee to always be 4 minutes early and to remember to let you know if their child is sick etc, and to engage with the child (as opposed to keeping half an eye on the back of their head for a couple of minutes).

Barney16 · 07/02/2025 20:58

I would go for breakfast club so I could have a leisurely stroll or drive to the station get a coffee etc without any stress 🙂

JimHalpertsWife · 07/02/2025 21:05

Barney16 · 07/02/2025 20:58

I would go for breakfast club so I could have a leisurely stroll or drive to the station get a coffee etc without any stress 🙂

£7.50 and another £3.50 for a coffee? Alright Mr Rockerfella

Weddingbells6 · 07/02/2025 21:12

On school grounds I think I would with my daughter but not my son (both 7, twins) I would also be calling / emailing school and asking them to open promptly at 8.45. I assume they’re year 3? So, at most schools they can walk home from school without an adult at this age with parental permission, if this is allowed then 2 minutes on a school playground shouldn’t be a problem other than your own peace of mind.

justasmalltownmum · 07/02/2025 21:21

I would be complaining to the school every single day they open the gate late.

Haroldwilson · 07/02/2025 21:43

Get a folding bike, you could save those minutes, be with your daughter and get the train.

Purpleturtle46 · 07/02/2025 22:10

justasmalltownmum · 07/02/2025 21:21

I would be complaining to the school every single day they open the gate late.

It depends when school starts. Opening the gates 15 mins early could just be a gesture of goodwill and not guaranteed.

SnoopySantaPaws · 08/02/2025 17:48

It depends on so many different things

Mainly on the individual seven-year-old and yours sounds quite sensible

What the atmosphere is like with all the children run-off playing near the road or whether they all stand with a parent in the queue

I would do a combination of things already mentioned firstly I would email the school to ask if they can possibly open the gates on time as it's causing this issue and secondly I'd ask an adult already in the if they could keep an eye on her, that she goes through the gates, giving them my phone number in case of any issues and most importantly, I'd be very clear with the Is not to run off playing with anybody or anything and is to stay in the queue until it goes through the gates if you can trust her to do that I can't see an issue.

alternatively, if the money isn't really an issue and there is availability in the novelty of breakfast club twice a week would probably get you through until the start of the new school year and give you a bit more of a leisurely start to your day at work, I take her in much earlier than the three or four minutes that you normally get there for though so she has time for breakfast and to play.

Blondeshavemorefun · 08/02/2025 18:02

Just ask someone. I often do this for dd school friends as know their parents need to be at work

CableCar · 11/02/2025 18:20

Rumpapapum · 06/02/2025 18:23

Thanks for all the replies.

To answer:
Im not sure when school starts, they go in the gates and parents are not allowed through them, they go straight in. I think after 9 you’re classed as late.
The gates are on a road, not a busy road at all. Impossible to drive more than 5mph during drop off times.
its a very residential area, and the only people really there at that time are parents/kids.
shes a very good child. Never say never but she’s certainly not the sort to run across a road or mess about. She is confident and wouldn’t feel anxious about being alone. She often asks to walk to school herself (don’t worry, she won’t be!)

I feel conflicted as some of the responses here make me feel like I’d be risking her life for the sake of £60 ish a month. Equally I feel she would be fine and it feels mad to consider breakfast club. Lots of food for thought. Of course if I saw a parent I knew, I would annd have asked them. Most parents are like me and not at pick up/rushing around so I don’t think it’s as easy to make friends. I do have a friend who’s child is in year 6 at the school and she is always the first in the queue in the morning (without mum), I did consider asking her to watch her if I don’t see anyone else as she’s very sweet with my daughter but I assume that would be frowned upon too!

I think a lot of it depends on the unique circumstances. Do you live in the inner city or a sleepy village? Do other parents leave their children at the gate unattended or is that culture not there? Loads of parents drop their kids at the gates and leave them waiting at our school, although the school always advise a parent to stay with a child until the gate opens. I think it just depends on the unique circumstances!
Really the school ought to be more prompt at opening their gates on time!