To complain about the amount of bereavement leave a colleagues has been given

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To preface, this is not about my colleague who I really like and I feel truly horrendous for her that she's lost her Mum. By all means, they should do what they need to for them and why not take this if its being offered. My issue is with the management who have approved it.

The problem is we are a very small team and she has been off for a month. She is now about to come back but has an agreed phased return in place that will last another month and the rest of us in the team are having to cover an awful lot that we simply don't have the capacity for. We have a lot of responsibilities that, from upper management, all need to be prioritised so everyone is now having to squeeze in a lot more to accommodate this colleague's leave and it has been incredibly difficult. Several staff have acrewed significant TOIL which my manager will not approve for them to take back yet because we are so short staffed.

The policy clearly states that bereavement leave can be offered for 3 days. Whilst I know this leave can be extended at the manager's discretion, what has been approved feels so excessive and with no consideration to the impact having so much leave has on the rest of us.
I have worked in the NHS a long time and never known anything like this amount of bereavement leave being approved. The most I have seen a manager approve before is 2 weeks and no phased return. And before anyone says, I know it is being recorded as bereavement leave and not sick leave because part of my responsibility is to log it on ESR as a proxy for our manager.

WIBU to go above my manager and complain about the decision to approve this.

You haven't mentioned how you coped when your mum died, OP. Was 3 days about right to get it over with and crack on with normal life?

YABU YABU YABU
The conversation is about workload distribution not about your poor colleague

Disgusting post.

Not being able to adequately cover or resource a staff member off for a month with a phased return is just bad management. Tell them you need a temp to take up some of the slack.

You sound utterly unkind and uncaring.
If you're so overworked stop trying to pick up the slack and let it fall down so management can see what is unworkable.
Don't be a martyr. It benefits only management in the situation be abuse you're allowing it.

Ours is 5 days and I think it’s pretty bad. Of course colleagues can get signed off if they need longer, and many do, for a lot longer than a month. It is rubbish you’ve all got extra work to do, but I guess that’s team work. It’s pretty mean to complain you think a month is too long to take off when you lose a parent. I only took 5 days but that’s me, i’d prefer to be busy, for others it would break them going back to work a week later. Have a little compassion.

I had a colleague signed off for three months after her mum died. She'd been with company nearly 20 years, and had been extremely close to her mum. If she'd been a newbie I would have eye rolled, but I knew it'd been very sudden and taken it out of her, and she was a good egg. It depends on situation.

What it's logged as doesn't make a tap of difference to your issue - that you're struggling with the increased workload. If it was recorded as sick leave rather than bereavement that wouldn't improve things in the slightest. You're narked off about the wrong thing.

I don't think you are nasty OP just worn down. I expect you and your colleagues are exhausted and many of you had to work and grieve without adequate leave before.
If you all stopped cramming additional work in, let things build up and ask for help your management would see the issue. At the moment you are all suffering from exhaustion.
Do you have a union who could support you?

You need to be complaining to management regarding the extra workload, that a small team is having to cover. Management should have tried to cover the bereavement leave by your colleague, rather than expecting everyone else to cover. I understand the leave was unexpected, but if you are on 'the front line' as in nursing, surely someone temporary could have been drafted in? If you're team is more admin based, again a temp could have been employed to cover the extra. It sounds as if management don't want to pay-out on employing someone temporary, and are expecting existing staff members to simply cover. This situation is not your colleagues fault, it's down to management to do their job and manage.

You usually get 3 days leave following a bereavement? It's not even enough time to properly arrange a funeral for them! 3 days is a disgracefully pitiful period of time.

It doesn't matter why she is off work. You raising 'it shouldn't be bereavement leave' doesn't highlight the right thing (and makes you look like an arse...)

The issue is cover and how this happens.

Wow heartless

Her mum has died, fuck work.

YANBU for how you feel, your management should have got cover in

But, losing a mother is going to hit hard and without knowing the circumstances it could have been expected or it could have been sudden. A funeral could take 2 weeks to arrange and have and there is a lot to sort out after that but also grieving. Personally a month is the least I would take off.

To reiterate what everyone else is saying OP you are complaining about the wrong thing, the real issue your team has is lack of cover arranged for absence not that your poor colleague is being given a reasonable amount of bereavement leave, if you complain based on that people will lose respect for you because you will sound like a complete arse.

IIn all honesty it’s got nothing to do with you, it’s between the manager and the staff member.

complaining about something like this after someone losses their mum is disgusting!

Go and complain to the manager about you not managing the workload but don’t complain about the bereavement leave.

YABU
The death of a mother is devastating and three days isn't nearly enough to process that. So unless you want her back at work in tears and fragile...

Your current workload is your responsibility to manage with your colleagues and that's the only thing you should mention to your manager, being realistic about what can or can't be done.

Talking about your colleague's time off for bereavement is quite frankly none of your business and if your colleague gets wind of it you'll be seen as being petty, cruel and having a lack of compassion.

I wouldn’t complain about the leave OP I would complain about the lack of cover and foresight from management that significant cover would be needed. Please speak to your manager, managers manager or HR about your team getting burned out and ask for a solution. Also flag that you are all being denied TOIL.

This

A month is no time at all. As others have said, the issue is about being understaffed, not about humans needing time to reel from shock, as the latter is part of life and death and not something we have much control over, whereas, knowing this will happen, we can prepare by ensuring we're not understaffed when it does.

If they're not ready to come back to work (understandable) then they'd be signed off anyway if not on bereavement, so how the absence is coded is irrelevant.

The issue is the lack of resource and the workload, neither of which are the colleagues problem and are likely a big contributor to requiring a phased return. That's your issue.

Go ahead but it will make you look awful. You have no idea of her circumstances.

The phased return makes me think she's been signed off sick too, even if you're convinced she hasn't. Only time I've ever had a phased return was coming back after a mental health crisis. My colleagues were told I was on bereavement leave as well because my mental health is none of their business, only my manager, supervisor and HR knew why I was actually off.

If you must complain, complain about your manager being incompetent, not covering the department properly, and having co-workers logging eachother's leave instead of doing it themself. Leave your poor colleague out of it, it's hard enough coming back after an extended break without it potentially reaching her ears that one of her co-worker thinks she has had too much time off for their liking.

Of course you would be unreasonable to complain about this.

She could have taken a month off sick and then phased return and the consequence for you would have still been the same...over worked and too stretched.

How her time off is taken doesnt matter and frankly is absolutely none of your business.

What is your business is the workload...you need to speak to management about the workload and how it is unsustainable and refuse to work anymore toil.

People get maternity lrave. In the nhs, that is hardly ever covered.
Bereavement affects peole in different ways. What do you think is causing her to take so long?
You're in the nhs, some compassion from the team perhaps