Hairdressers. Why do you do it? Anyone else?

[theworriermum]

I don't know if it's all hairdressers or just my hair type (long, thick, coarse) but unless I'm absolutely prescriptive and borderline stern, they go to town.

Right now, I'm 4 months postpartum, heavier than I usually am and looking tired but my long brunette hair was my saving grace! I walked around with a birds nest in 4th Trimester to give it a break from heat. I straightened it before the cut for the first time and it was gorgeous and healthy. So long, long feathering across my jawline and neck.

I took my eye off the ball not saying 'trim only, no thinning, and please NO dramatic diagonal scissors for feathering'. I did say keep the length and that I liked the existing cut but it wasn't stern enough.

I couldn't see what she was doing at the back but it's clear to me now that she has thinned it without asking. A lot of them do this as I have thick hair but I hate it. At the front I asked for shorter parts to frame my face, which I already had but she has taken it way too far back, I look like a Shetland pony and the most infuriating part.... when she went to feather my hair, rather than trim the existing feathers she angled her scissors away from my face at a drastic angle and before I could say anything she slid them down. I asked her to stop but she said 'it's not even' and kept going, so now between the Shetland pony style side fringe, and OTT angle feathering, my actual hair only starts behind my shoulders. It's so ugly.

I'm devastated tbh. 2.5 weeks on and I still hate it. It's going to take months to grow this out. Last time this happened it took 10 months and I've been growing it and protecting it since.

Why? Why do you do it hairdressers? Anyone else?

I wouldn't mind the Edward scissors hands approach if they knew what they were doing. It's a shame the only person I trust to cut my hair is fully booked for weeks and I only know my window of free time a day or two before being mum of 2.

This is me! so much so I only go once or twice a year as I can't cope with paying for the disappointment.
and my 11 year old son has just started experiencing the same, we are on the 5th barbers now as the last few cuts have made him cry. He searches for styles online, shows what we wants then gets the same cut as he always gets which is nothing like it! so frustrating. He's asked recently if we could go to London to get his hair cut, we live in Wales! hmmmm, No!

You need to go to a good stylist who has had proper training in a good teaching salon. Not someone who has done a short hairdressing course.

Not only is it difficult to find someone with specific training (most salons don’t list their staff and their qualifications) but qualification is no barrier to a dreadful haircut.

Interesting that not one hair stylist has been on this thread to defend their styling…

@Roomforapony

Oh my goodness! That is simultaneously hilarious (sorry!) and horrifying!

At my last appt she gave me these weird curls ... walked out looking like Annie. I'm 56 ffs.

I've been to a hairdresser twice since I was about 14. At 14 a hairdresser sliced a sliver off the top of my ear - that put me off for years.

Then the '70s came along with big curly hair... so I got tempted by a perm. I think it was left in too long - half of my long thick hair fell out and it grew back frizzy and never as thick.

A decade later I got tempted again- by highlights this time. I admit it looked good - but the hours of pain having my hair yanked through tiny holes in a rubber cap!

Never again. 🤕

You need to find a good hairdresser and be a regular client.

It sounds like you're going to a different person every time?

I see mine every 6 weeks and it's always cut the same way we've agreed on that works for me.

I know finding that person can be hard though.

I used to have a side fringe, and I would really struggle getting someone good at cutting it. I always used to say I don't want it in my eyes. I do sport, drive, work on a computer, I don't want to be flicking it out my face all the time. Literally every hairdresser ignored me and would only cut these long, sweeping fringes. I eventually grew it out as I couldn't maintain it and was going back every 3 weeks.

I literally love my hairdresser. I have very fine hair and a sensitive scalp which was so inflamed before I met her. She's so knowledgeable of all hair types and scalp types. she is incredibly well qualified, stays up to date with new research and training. Always excited to share new schools of thought from different courses she attends. She's a lone hairdresser but with her own salon. Feels like luxury.

I'm autistic, so the combination of being touched by a stranger, having to sit still, whilst making small talk is more or less torture. I manage to go about once a year, and it takes me days to get over it.

Those of you that were brave enough to cut your own hair using YouTube videos, could you please post some links that you've found helpful?

I had a quick look, and there seem to be a few hundred to choose from, personal recommendation would be fantastic.

Most hairdressers seem to have little feathered bobs and try to give you a matching one as if that’s the only cut they’ve been taught.

I’ve not been back to one in 15 years. Every time I asked for just a trim because I wanted to start growing it long, I’d once again leave looking like John Lennon.

I sympathise. This happened to me, far too high above my eyebrows and I had a short bob hairstyle too.

I looked like Wendolene Ramsbottom from Wallace and Gromit 😱😆

Definitely. There is a new style that comes through every ten years or so and they are all taught to cut that style. So regardless of what you asked for when you went in, what you will get is some slight variation of it that style because they didn't learn another one.

@Hotafternoon

I think she just didn't want my custom anymore for some reason and cutting my fringe way too short despite me clearly communicating what I wanted ,was a way of getting rid of me I think .

I found another hairdresser who does what I want thank god .

Well just to echo some other posters - I used to go to a hairdressers who would have done the scissoring layering thing before you could stay stop , even if I said I want a blunt cut. My hair can frizz in humid weather let alone wet weather and I need the weight otherwise I do look like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards.

I have found one now , who when I say I want a blunt cut around the bottom and just snipping off split ends around my face does exactly that. She knows what I want. If she thinks I could do something better - I don't know she does - she knows what I like - & I'm the one who has to live with it. It is not the fanciest hairdressers in town but they do a good job and importantly - exactly what I have asked for . If someone did something I did not ask for ( and you - one - does have to be crystal clear ) I would not be going back .

@KnobblyCheeseMix I hack away at my own usually now, if my hairdresser cuts it I emphasise mm. rather than inches off on the occasional time I ask her to snip it. 😀

My hairdresser is great. Been going to her for 40 years or so. In, chop, out. All done in 20 minutes. She knows what I want, I just leave her to it. Sometimes she'll ask what I want, I just tell her to do whatever she fancies, I've never had a bad cut.

I'd been cutting my hair since well before COVID as I was so sick of waiting ages (can only do Saturday appointments) only to have them ignore me saying that hair is much wavier than it looks, very fine and will go very frizzy with layers so no layers and cut it much longer than you think ... only to come out with masses of layers and a too short fringe. The number of times they've said to me in surprise "Oh it really bounces up a lot, doesn't it?" as they try to wrestle a decent blow-dry out of my recalcitrant hair.

I figured I could cut my own hair and get a rubbish cut for free, rather than having to pay for it!

I went to the hairdresser for the first time in years in November - don't even no why the urge took me again. She was on time, she asked me exactly what I wanted, kept asking as she was working - and then did exactly that! And only took 45 minutes. It was so surreal that I almost couldn't actually say what I wanted I was freaked out that she was actually listening to me 😆

It’s one thing hairdressers making a mistake.

It is quite another when they simply do not listen, do something you didn’t ask them to do, and then they say how good it looks.

Mine is ok. She still doesn’t always listen though but I stay there out of convenience. High London prices too..

As a little girl I had lovely curly hair but every time my mum took me to the hairdressers they razor cut it very short or into a triangle, it ruined my hair and it went into a frizzy mess instead of the lovely curls. When I was 16 in the 70s and working I went to a hairdressers, perms were in fashion then. The hairdresser said who on earth permed your hair, it's ruined! It's so frizzy and just awful! I hadn't had a perm, she was saying that about my natural hair. I got up and left in tears without having my hair done! I have never been back to a hair dresser! I have learnt by trial and error how to manage and cut my own hair and now get compliments about it. I will never go to a hairdresser again.

Why are hairdressers not coming here to comment and defend themselves!!

Oh I feel all the pain here. I have put off going for a cut and rough dry as the last one I had was almost Bay City Rollers x unironic mullet.
The sides are taking forever to grow but the back is long and flowing!!
I've been to many places and feel I make a simple request of a bob that's not shaped into my neck, with a side parting and a half fringe.
Is this hard..... because I have had everything but this. I don't want a blow dry as I tend to get given a helmet look and just like it to be natural...
Got to bite the bullet soon as holiday end of March and I can't stand the thought of my dysfunctional hair coming with me!!!

I haven't been to a salon since just before lockdown. I was growing my hair out anyway & now I just cut my own fringe (which works) & occasionally cut the ends (which I can't quite get right).

For anyone wanting a long fringe with some face-framing side bits, I do what my stylist used to do combined with what someone online recommended:

1. Cut off less than you think you need to, because you can always cut a bit more.
2. In the middle, cut to the length you want over the eyes, & then gradually cut less off the sides.
3. Only cut your fringe when you're sober.😂

Ironically, my last salon/stylist before Covid was the best & the only consistent one I've ever had. All the others would do one absolutely brilliant cut & then terrible ones OR refuse to do dry cuts & then use harsh products that didn't suit my hair OR not listen to what I wanted but do some bizarre & unfashionable thing of their own OR have a 'tic' which they couldn't stop themselves doing, e.g. one stylist always cut exactly what I wanted but then at the last minute went back & chopped off one bit too short (always the same bit), another one from time to time put layers in even when I'd said & she'd agreed 'NO LAYERS'.

I think a lot of them must be under-trained so that they don't know how to do a lot of different cuts. And others seem to go onto automatic pilot while cutting & start thinking about other things.

I've not been to a hairdresser in over ten years. i can't bear it. They never listen so I've just given up on them.

'The hairdresser said who on earth permed your hair, it's ruined! It's so frizzy and just awful!'

I once had a cut when the stylist had just had a run-in with her manager & she was so emotional & distracted that she did a terrible job of my hair. I had to put up with it looking sh!t for six weeks. When I went back the next time, she sat me down, put her fingers through my hair & asked disapprovingly, "Who did this? It's awful," which at least gave me the satisfaction of saying, "You did"!

I have run the gamut of hairdressers and had awful ones, good ones and great ones.
The worse was from a girl who was apparently salon trained and she gave me the worse haircut ever and because it was so short at the back it took ages to grow out - I knew it was going wrong from the start and when I made a comment about being too short. She said I have my reputation to think about and will not have you leave the salon without a proper style. I slated her on media comments and told her boss how bad she was when I saw him in the pub a week later. He told me to come back to the salon and he would have her sort it out properly. Not a chance was I going back to her or him for that matter!!
Other hairdressers have started well but seem to think that once they know you that they can become slapdash and careless. Had a few like that where I just didn't go back.
My current hairdresser actually listens - the last time I went I was reasonably happy with the cut - but as the weeks went on I realised I didn't like it. So when I was sat in the chair and we were chatting about what to do - I said I didn't like it and could we make some adjustments? At the end of that session, even she agreed that it looked better, had a better shape and was more flexible if I decided that I wasn't straightening my hair but would still look good if I left it wavy/curly. This is post chemo hair so is very different now to what it used to be. As she said everyone is different and she wants all her customers to be happy with their style. Something I would hope that all hairdressers would want for their clients.

I have the polar opposite issue in that my hair is pin straight, fine but lots of actual hairs. I've given up now, I have to be dead clear that I've not straightened it, that you CANNOT do straight cuts cos every single scissor mark shows. And no, no you won't blow dry in some lovely waves, no matter how good you are cos absolutely shit-all works in my hair. It just sits, that's it.

Annoyingly, two of my sons have my hair & we've found a barber who knows exactly how to cut it (there have been some disasters in the past), it looks great, every time - you'd never know scissors had been near it. I'd love him to cut my hair 😭

DS15 has decided he can trim my hair for me (it's super long) and I might just let him.