Hairdressers. Why do you do it? Anyone else?

[theworriermum]

I don't know if it's all hairdressers or just my hair type (long, thick, coarse) but unless I'm absolutely prescriptive and borderline stern, they go to town.

Right now, I'm 4 months postpartum, heavier than I usually am and looking tired but my long brunette hair was my saving grace! I walked around with a birds nest in 4th Trimester to give it a break from heat. I straightened it before the cut for the first time and it was gorgeous and healthy. So long, long feathering across my jawline and neck.

I took my eye off the ball not saying 'trim only, no thinning, and please NO dramatic diagonal scissors for feathering'. I did say keep the length and that I liked the existing cut but it wasn't stern enough.

I couldn't see what she was doing at the back but it's clear to me now that she has thinned it without asking. A lot of them do this as I have thick hair but I hate it. At the front I asked for shorter parts to frame my face, which I already had but she has taken it way too far back, I look like a Shetland pony and the most infuriating part.... when she went to feather my hair, rather than trim the existing feathers she angled her scissors away from my face at a drastic angle and before I could say anything she slid them down. I asked her to stop but she said 'it's not even' and kept going, so now between the Shetland pony style side fringe, and OTT angle feathering, my actual hair only starts behind my shoulders. It's so ugly.

I'm devastated tbh. 2.5 weeks on and I still hate it. It's going to take months to grow this out. Last time this happened it took 10 months and I've been growing it and protecting it since.

Why? Why do you do it hairdressers? Anyone else?

I wouldn't mind the Edward scissors hands approach if they knew what they were doing. It's a shame the only person I trust to cut my hair is fully booked for weeks and I only know my window of free time a day or two before being mum of 2.

This is why I've cut my own hair for years!

I moved from the north east to the midlands ten years ago and had no idea where to go, went to the best rated one on google and turns out the girl who did my hair was a trainee but being trained by family (who were barbers) do be a hairdresser! I also have long, thick, brunette hair and she hacked the life out of it, thinned it so badly even though I asked her not to, she kept insisting my hair was too thick. She cut so much off and none of it was even the same length. I cried for days.

Never again. I bought myself some nice hairdressing scissors and do my own now and cut my mams for her too.

I think it says a lot about hair cutting that I have very fine hair and 50 percent of hairdressers will say it needs layers to add volume and 50 percent will say it needs no layers to add weight to the ends.

I can recommend a hairdresser who always listens and never ever scissor-happy "because I had it done to me once" and she is close to J10 of the M40. Very nice personality too.

Moving a lot before settling up here I suffered with maybe 30 different hairdressers chopping off too much, the desire to give my fine hair and fat face "a nice bob" surfaced many times often overrode my preference for a light trim, and it took two decades to get it shoulder length. Once I even had to grab the cutting wrist in a "cease or desist" move as she wouldn't listen. Cor. Why do they do it. Restraining techniques should not be necessary!! I remember I noticed once that after going round taking off the 1cm I asked for, a previous hairdresser then started all over again, round 2 if you like, which is nuts as it must take
twice as long.

OP did ask WHY...? All I could think was that being not naturally gorgeous, I do smile a lot which makes me look better and the longer I was in the chair (ie the more hair was coming off) the more I smiled and looked better so somehow taking off more hair got associated in the hairdresser's mind with improving my looks. It sounds barking but I used to puzzle over this so much too, and it's all I ever came up with.

Anyway please DM me if you would like the details of this hairdressing haven salon in North Oxfordshire.

The recommended hairdresser is close to J11 off the M40! Not J10 as I said, but actually not that far from J10 either. Feathers!

And what is with the obsession with bouffant hair drying? I like my hair dried straight. I don’t want ‘big’ hair with lots of volume. However, many times I say that, I leave with high volume hair. I have to go home and flatten it down. I look like I’m about to perform on a cruise ship.

I have found a hairdresser who knows my hair and cuts it well. If I ask for anything it won’t do well (like a fringe) she just refuses 😂 which is fine with me.

costs me an arm and a leg but I’ve been happy with my hair for nearly 20 years. I dread the day I have to change.

Here's one of my bad cuts
I cried a lot, then grew it while looking for another hairdresser. He gets that most people with wavy hair have had bad cuts and understood why I was so nervous
Second pic is the cut he gave me. I am NEVER leaving him

They also don't understand products - I need hard hold gel! Not serum or creams with no hold

I would rather go to a dentist than a hairdresser. Finding one of the former that will even take you on the waiting list and one of the latter that is any good is a mission.
For my hair it is a health and safety pony tail. I also hate, after telling hairdressers that I dont want anything that involves horribly complicated styling (because I am pants at styling, I have explained I use my straighteners for making sugar shapes for cakes and I don’t know where my hairdryer is), they then whack out the dryer, round brush and the whole shebang.
My hair never looks like it is styled that day ever again.

I have similar hair type to yours (mine's naturally wavy/curly - is yours?) and gave up with hairdressers a couple of years ago. I had everything from borderline rude comments about how "bushy" my hair is, to annoyance that it took longer than other clients, to people who genuinely tried quite hard to do a good job but just didn't know how to cut the texture.

Curly cuts from specialists were good but way too expensive for me.

I cut it myself now using the "double unicorn cut" method - its really quite easy, and looks good. Wouldn't work on straight hair though.

If you provide a photo and give clear instructions on how much you want cut off and they ignore your request, you are entitled to leave without paying and to give them a poor review on social media. If more people did this the bad hairdressers would soon be out of business or would need to buck up their ideas!

The trouble is, you don't always realise. I just had mine done after two years of hairdresser avoidance. I showed a picture, I said I wanted shaping round my face but no short layers overall. So she snips away, and then dries and straightens to death and it looks all right.
The style I asked for I have had before. It shouldn't need straightening at home, but I got some straighteners if I fancied doing it.

First wash since having it done yesterday and that's when I saw how short the layers were. Upshot is, I look like an old English sheepdog! Instead of just shaping round my face, she's made a layer as though she was giving me an angled bob. So what I have is basically two hairstyles. An angled bob top layer and the rest of my hair. It's awful. Fortunately, I can still put the angled bob bit up in a scrunchie, but the whole point of a fringe was to stop having to wear it up so much. At least the fringe is OK.

Complain to the manager?
I know it's two and a half weeks ago but it's causing you distress.
Speak to the manager and tell her what you asked for and when she asks why you didn't mention it on the day, tell her your 4 months post birth and quite frankly you were shell shocked.
Manager needs to have a word with their staff and I think you should get your money back.

Beautiful curls!