Hairdressers. Why do you do it? Anyone else?

[theworriermum]

I don't know if it's all hairdressers or just my hair type (long, thick, coarse) but unless I'm absolutely prescriptive and borderline stern, they go to town.

Right now, I'm 4 months postpartum, heavier than I usually am and looking tired but my long brunette hair was my saving grace! I walked around with a birds nest in 4th Trimester to give it a break from heat. I straightened it before the cut for the first time and it was gorgeous and healthy. So long, long feathering across my jawline and neck.

I took my eye off the ball not saying 'trim only, no thinning, and please NO dramatic diagonal scissors for feathering'. I did say keep the length and that I liked the existing cut but it wasn't stern enough.

I couldn't see what she was doing at the back but it's clear to me now that she has thinned it without asking. A lot of them do this as I have thick hair but I hate it. At the front I asked for shorter parts to frame my face, which I already had but she has taken it way too far back, I look like a Shetland pony and the most infuriating part.... when she went to feather my hair, rather than trim the existing feathers she angled her scissors away from my face at a drastic angle and before I could say anything she slid them down. I asked her to stop but she said 'it's not even' and kept going, so now between the Shetland pony style side fringe, and OTT angle feathering, my actual hair only starts behind my shoulders. It's so ugly.

I'm devastated tbh. 2.5 weeks on and I still hate it. It's going to take months to grow this out. Last time this happened it took 10 months and I've been growing it and protecting it since.

Why? Why do you do it hairdressers? Anyone else?

I wouldn't mind the Edward scissors hands approach if they knew what they were doing. It's a shame the only person I trust to cut my hair is fully booked for weeks and I only know my window of free time a day or two before being mum of 2.

Hairdresser I went to for over 35 years kept cutting my fringe way too short even after I showed her where I wanted it cut , just below my eye brow . She kept cutting it an inch above my eyebrows. It looked like a pudding basin cut . The third time she did it I never went back again. I guess she just didn't want my custom anymore.

Just wanted to say I love my hairdresser — but I (metaphorically!) kissed a lot of frogs before finding her…! I also essentially have the same haircut every time, so she knows what to do now pretty much with no discussion — but the reason I love her so much is that she asked lots of questions about what I wanted (and really listened to the answers!) the first time I saw her…

Your last paragraph...my lovely hairdresser, when I used to straighten my hair, he would dry it straight using the hairdryer and big round brush. He'd get it straighter that if he'd used GHDs!! He's amazing and I'm so glad I found him!

Yep - 'take the weight out'...no no no...I want the weight for my hair so stay in one place rather than layers that wing out everywhere. I swear they do it to justify the cost. Was toying with going to a men's barbers next time to get a trim...

I have been cutting my own hair since the 90s, except for one time I stupidly decided to go to a hairdresser before an event six years ago and, predictably, they messed it up. I asked for it to fall onto my shoulders a bit and got a jaw length bob.

My DH uses the clippers. I learned to do my boys scissors cuts; they don't want to go anywhere else. My daughter always got me to do her hair and now does her own, dye and cuts. Even my eldest son, who I wouldn't say is particularly artistic, learned to do his girlfriend's haircut from watching YT videos. She still got him to cut it after they broke up!

No hairdressers for any of us.

A while ago now I went in to my local salon and showed the stylist (and her colleagues) what I wanted and I specifically said that I did not want a bob cut hairstyle. I had already had one of those and as it was growing out, my hair looked like that which belongs on a Lego person! So I knew what I wanted, showed them pictures of what I wanted and what did I end up walking out with - you guessed it! A bob!!!

Haven't been back since!

I used to be a regular in this salon and would specifically make appointments for Christmas eve for me and my daughter to have a wash & blow dry for Christmas (a nice treat for her).

Now I've taken my business elsewhere.

@theworriermum - you have my sympathies. It will grow out and I'd try as much as possible to style your hair in such a way that the way it was cut is not the bit that you see.

My DM said she’d treat me to whatever hair treatment I liked so after a consultation at a local reputable salon I was booked in for a body wave perm so I could “wash and go”. My hair is thick and has a natural wave so the hairdresser said she wouldn’t need to leave the solution on for too long. DH dropped me off and I sat down, gown on to be told the hairdresser was sick so someone else was doing my hair but had been briefed about what I wanted.
I should have left immediately!
My DH picked me up with our 2 children in the car as we were going to the park afterwards, I got in and he took one look and said “oh I’ll just check I put the football in the boot…” and got out, my son (4) piped up “why is Daddy leaning over? Why is he shaking?” My daughter (6) “he’s not shaking he’s laughing, what’s funny Mummy?”
Mummy was🫣!!
He got back in and said “ you look very pretty, are you pleased?” Pleased? I was in shock, I looked like the leader of The Hair Bear Bunch (google them I looked exactly like Hair Bear)😩 they’d left the perm solution on too long so I had tight curls that they couldn’t brush out. They’d tried to trim some off but eventually admitted defeat so I was booked in for a correction a week later. I couldn’t leave the house without a beanie hat on (this was July🥵), I became a legend in the family, people “just popping in to see DC”, no they weren’t, they couldn’t believe it was as bad as I said!
It was😳
When I went back the original stylist was shocked it was so bad but tried her best, it didn’t relax so I had another cut which made it easier to brush but I still looked like the 118 118 man without the moustache😂 It look a year to cut it all.
I still shudder whenever anyone mentions they fancy having a perm.

I now have a hairdresser that I know and trust. I was traumatised in my early 20's when I went for a cut before heading out to a Big Party (full of people I wanted to impress). I asked for a short, punky style and came out looking like Jane Torvill, so bouffant that it was surprising I could get through the door. It did not suit me or my face and I spent years avoiding having my hair cut after that.

I just tell my hairdresser to do whatever she thinks. I don't even know what a layer is.

I've never been unhappy with the result and she always says how low maintenance I am compared to some of the other people she sees...

I’ve only ever found one hairdresser I trusted. She would spend 45 minutes carefully cutting and making tiny adjustments. Most others take about ten minutes max on the cut, which for me is the important part. They are all obsessed with colouring and just don’t seem to have, or value, cutting skills. That said, I actually have no idea how to ask for what I want in technical terms. I don’t know what feathering is. I’m really a bit hazy about layers. I panic and start throwing words around and when they smile and nod I assume we’re on the same page. I’m resigned to the fact that it’s a russian roulette.

You need to find a good stylist and stick with them. Go with recommendations and go for a consult before the cut. I've been with my hairdresser a good few years now and she understands my hair and what I want. If you post the area you live maybe someone here could make a recommendation

My hair is difficult although it doesnt look it! It's fine but lots of it and its long. My hairdresser knows how to do my hair, but she says it doesn't make sense! Layers stick out so it stays one length. Blow try then cut. But to add hi lights she has to use the lowest possible bleach level and they are done after 15 minutes. I have my hair coloured as well, and it holds the colour so much that it only needs touching up every 14 weeks! She says if I ever went to someone else, she would write an instruction list for them as they would never get it right.

I have very thick hair and I like it. I used to go to a Cypriot hairdresser and I used to have to watch him like a hawk because he had a mania for thinning.

He did a great cut that was easy to style but I eventually moved on because a) He'd keep me waiting an hour or more for every appointment and it was quicker to travel back to my old town and see my old hairdresser than walk 10 minutes to him and b) after very clearly specifying what tint/highlight colours I wanted I heard him ask his assistant to 'mix my colours please'. That was the last straw. I didn't want to come out with the same hair colour as all his other clientele. It was a great colour mix but not what I'd asked for.

Eventually one of his assistants fell out with him and opened a new salon 500 yards away. Also Cypriot. I went to him and he was great. Prompt, quick, listened to what I said and I fell into a false sense of security and started to read while he did my hair. One day I looked up and he was wielding the thinning scissors like Edward Scissorhands. In horror I shouted "STOP' and made everyone in the salon jump! But it was too late the damage was done.

I think it was their training - in Cyprus thick hair is the norm so not valued like it is here and so they routinely thin hair there. It was just a reflex to them to make hair look thinner and more wispy.

I now see a very nice Sri Lankan woman. She works fast, her cuts are great, she's excellent at tweaking the colour when I ask, her blow dry last a week BUT I have to remained her about my fringe every time, I want it long, full, cut into and blended in to the sides but if I don't mention it it will end up short, straight and blunt cut.

You have my sympathies OP. I don't go to the hairdressers very much at all but last year decided I would bite the bullet. I went to a highly recommended salon, always winning awards etc. i asked for a long layered bob. She cut it perfectly. Went back a few weeks later for a trim and she cut the shit out of it. Layered it alot shorter than I wanted and christ knows what she did to my fringe. Never seen anything like it. All the while she was tending to a woman next to me with foils in her hair. Anyway I was so shocked at the time I paid and left. My sister went mad. Rang the salon and complained. I ended up with an appt with the owner. She just made excuses for the shite haircut and cut little bits and pieces off in an attempt to make it look less stupid. Anyway a few weeks later I was booked in with their most senior ‘style director’ to try and sort it out. He talked a good talk but he didn't do a much better job. First thing he said to me was “have you thought about dying your hair?” (Im about 40% grey). I said no I bloody haven't. Cheeky sod. The problem with salons these days, espec this one, is that they are ALL about colouring hair. Loads of SM posts of balayages and the like and bouncy sodding blow dries. I don't think hairdressers actually get taught how to cut hair any more because the money is in the hair dying. As a result I haven't had my hair cut since last April. It badly needs doing but I cant face going to another hairdressers.

My own hairdresser complains about this exact thing. Her sons go to a barbers to get their hair cut as they don't want the "embarrassment" of saying their mum cuts their hair (kids!). She always ends up having to re-do bits of it where they've not blended it properly and the bad bits are hidden with "styling".

Unfortunately barbers just seem to be a conveyor belt of hair cuts - get em in quick and out the door and charge £20 for doing it.

My hairdresser cuts my DH's hair and he says it's the best haircut he's ever had as she does it properly.

I often think she's not done what I wanted when she's finished my hair, but she just styles it differently to me. Give it a couple of days afterwards to settle and styling it the way I do it and I love it again.

There are decent hairdressers out there though it can be a PITA to find them!

This is why I won't go to a hairdresser. I have (had!) long thick curly hair, and as a youngster/teen hairdressers used to always hack into it with thinning scissors, making it look frizzy with millions of short hairs sticking out 😢 I had to use loads of heat and products to try to control) tidy it which created a cycle of damage, eventually had to have it all cut off and it stayed short for 20 years due to the damage breaking the ends off. It's taken so long to grow it back.
I found a hairdresser I liked and trusted but then her salon closed down, so now I just trim the ends myself which doesn't get the best results but I just don't trust anyone else 😆

I thought brutal unasked for cuts were a bit of an exaggerated, urban myth till I got my first, about 7 years ago. Day before my birthday too 🙄I asked for my hair to be cut to the base of my neck, and she cut it to chin length. The worst part is that I saw she was cutting the back a bit a bit too short, but she started acting like she was a bit worried by my reaction and I was such a people pleaser that I actually reassured her. I will always regret that not only did I not stand up and walk as soon as I could see that she was cutting too short but also that I paid £45 for the privilege of it. She said: 'We got rid of all that damage!' The idiot could have made more money giving me a treatment AND the cut I wanted. I sobbed for an hour when I got home.
I should have suspected it could happen, as she had ignored my request for layers on a previous trip as she 'preferred it one-length and straight'. I was very restrained in not trashing her online, and of course I never went back. Her salon went bust in lockdown and Lord forgive me, I may have been a bit amused 😆

Hate it, hate it. Would rather go to the dentist.

I’ve been going to the same small town hairdresser for 20 years, she does a great job, keeps up her skills and training and knows her business. The worst haircut I ever had was from Molton Browns training school in New Bond St. And that was because the trainee was overruled by the know it all supervisor.

Many of them don't take into consideration what suits your face and/or build but will cut it to suit the hair. To be honest I don't think they know how to.

Urgh I've found one great hairdesser in my lifetime so far and he moved away!! Apart from him, I've been disappointed in every hair dresser I've had and have just left it to grow long and I trim it myself.
I've had masses of length taken off when asking for an inch off, an inverted bob where one side was longer than the other at the back, a plain bob that one side was longer etc etc but the perfect example of what you're talking about happened when I was younger. The film sliding doors had come out and Gwyneth had that cute hair cut with the long bits at the front. I walked out with a Dierdre Barlow cut and no way of fixing it. Hairdresser said it was because of my hair texture and i could style it to look that way...I literally have the same hair texture as her and unless styling products can grow hair at the front no mousse, gel , wax or hairspray was fixing that monstrosity! I'm actually scared to go to a hair dresser now, because it takes years for my hair to grow and I don't want to be stuck with yet another awful cut I have to look at every day for what feels like forever.
I feel you pain op and hope you can get it sorted ♥️

They all seem to want to follow whatever the fashion is. My hair is long and thick and I always get "it's very long, there's not much shape to it." Yeah cos that's how I like it. I probably look like a witch or a horse, I don't care. Just make it shorter (A BIT) and I'll see you again in a year.

Yep! I got an amazing restyle a few years ago with my regular hairdresser... been going back ever since and it's definitely been varied. I think they just go on autopilot to some extent.

You've been exceptionally lucky!

I hear ya OP. I have naturally curly hair (not afro but coily) and thick. I wear it both curly and straight at different times of year and have NEVER found a hairdresser that can cater to my hair fully. I have 3 hairdressers in my family and 2 mates who are hairdressers, they’re great at what they do but particularly bad at listening to what I ask too. I have been to so many hairdressers in my lifetime it’s ridiculous. Literally not once have I left feeling that bouncy ‘just stepped out of the salon’ feeling. Even when I’ve invested in super expensive specialist senior stylists in London etc.

Either they convince me to do this or that instead because my hair is so ‘difficult’ or they cater to it being curly without considering the fact I also wear it straight OR vice versa and cut my hair considering straight styling but leaving me with that curly triangle situation.

I was very convinced it was just the way my hair is and the common denominator is me UNTIL I had enough in my late 30s and have been learning about my specific hair type and teaching myself little tips and tricks to do my own trims, what proper tools/products to use, as well as how to apply my own hair treatments (YouTube education).

My hair has been absolutely amazing since! It’s been growing like a weed, it looks brill when curly or straight and I spend so much less time styling now because it just works! I get so many compliments on my hair nowadays and I’ve saved myself an absolute fortune, although I’ve invested in time and professional tools.

My little girl has similar hair to mine and I’m very much considering passing on the wisdom early on so she doesn’t waste as much time as I did!