We have no bedroom and it's stressful

[Fishandchipsareyum]

Hello

We have a small 2 bedroom house and the girls each need a bedroom as they are both autistic and eldest is a pda and 7 years older than the youngest. The girls don't get on my eldest needs a lock on her door inside so her sister isn't allowed in. We are going to put a little latch on it for her.

We initially thought it was going to be ok, we bought an expensive sofa bed from ikea. It was hideous to sleep on so had to replace with a day bed that pulls out to a double but the sofa is in the way so it can't be moved to pull day bed out ( it's a tiny livingroom also) we have so much stress and we have no adult space and all my clothes are mostly in box's under the day bed. Husband sleeps on a mattress.

Guess I'm just wondering if anyone else has no adult bedroom because the children need a room each.

We can't afford to buy a bigger place. So we are stuck.

All that fits In the living room is the seating and the day bed ( single size pushed in) and a small unit for my things. Tv is on the inbuilt fireplace.

Youngest room is large but awkward so I'm not sure it could be split into 2. There is her bed and toys and books and I need to store towels and husbands clothes in her room.

I just can't help dread getting older in this place. I try and be positive but I feel quite down. I work 24/7 ( minus the sleeping tike lol) and I would have enjoyed a place to call my own bedroom for rest.

Dining room? Ikea do a very high adult appropriate loft bed.

It’s not always a given that moving to a bigger house maybe more expensive. You may be able to find some where that’s bigger but cheaper, thus reducing your mortgage? I have four kids and when more space was needed, I spent two years planning a loft extension then one went to uni and we didn’t need it, her room became a study. So if your situation can soon be relieved by child moving out to uni stick with the furniture solutions. If you extend go for good space ? En-suite.

Thanks. Yes we will actually have to stick to the furniture idea for the long term the loft idea is just going to be far too much upheaval ( new loft hatch and everything) so we need a good sofa bed I think.

Anyone have a good sofa bed recommendation? One that feels like a bed to sleep on ?

We had two girls so they shared the biggest of two bedrooms. So your problem has arisen because of their autism issues. Really feel for your situation and if there is anyway to separate their bedroom so both can have some privacy that would the best solution. My two girls used to argue a lot but they had to put up with it. To be fair they would have argued no matter what. Eventually one got married and the other started training as a nurse so lived away from home. Usually things don’t go on forever but it is so hard at the time.

Yes you need one thats not just for occasional use , you need to have a Google for one you can use every night.

Another option would be a good mattress stored on its side behind sofa or some where which is what I did for a while and just had it on the floor every night.
I love my sleepsoul mattress.

The DFG option is Def worth exploring for you all.

Very best wishes whatever you decide as its bloody tough.

There are many good beds that are just in the wall and look like a cupboard when out of use, would that work?

I would share with your youngest with the bunk bed, big bed on the bottom. Or split the large room with a wall divider
Or buy a loft bed for the lounge with a queen size bed.
You need to have a bed ready to go, it is unfair for you to have to make up the sofa bed every night.

Or I would just get two single beds and put them in the lounge room, in an L shape and dress them during the day with cushions and a throw over it to make them look less like beds, but have them made ready to go

Yes I know someone who did this, really successfully.

Saw this and thought of you.

That’s brilliant idea! Well done you! If the steps were storage too with the treads lifting up that would be ace! Think this is a winner.

Oh that is lovely, thanks for thinking of me and posting, it's amazing what can be done.

We had three boys in one room. They didn't get on either. No regrets and it did work most of the time. I would split the larger room into 2 as you need a proper room.

@Fishandchipsareyum you should be able to post a pic now of floorplan

i know you said was going to go via the lift but many in here are clever with ideas for space

I do love the idea @Familysquabbles23 posted

Hello OP. Firstly, sympathies. That's a very stressful situation to be in.

Re the diving wall upstairs - which I think is your best solution

1. Think radical. If the 2 bedrooms are adjoining, consider getting rid of all of the walls and reconfigure the entire sleeping space. Slightly more expensive but better in the long run and you can share the overall space more efficiently. Put in one seamless flooring type to make it future flexible and look bigger.

The Japanese are very space challenged and they use a lot of sliding walls /doors to make the space flexible.

1. Think outside of straight lines for the diving walls. For example have a dog -leg shape wall so that you can fit a bed across each room - think of it like the head or foot of the bed is in an alcove which is 'stolen' out of the next door room.

1. In terms of light.

If the dividing wall can't be dog-legged to allow sharing of light then consider a frosted glass /glass bricks part of the new wall. That will let light in to the non windowed room

Or use a light tunnel. - you can probably DIY one much cheaper than this wikes example. www.wickes.co.uk/Keylite-SLFST-350-Flexible-Sun-Tunnel-including-Tile-Flashing---350mm/p/158963

1. Think of having sliding doors or pocket doors to save space. They make a HUGE difference to what is possible in terms of layout.

1. Declutter ruthlessly.

If there are any houses on rightmove with the same layout floor plan you could share that as photos are currently not available on here ? Might help us to come up with some partial ideas.

Thanks ,we had to shelf the loft idea.

Who has ceilings that high in normal houses?

Just a thought Op, I wonder do you have a cellar that could be used as a bedroom?

If the OP had another room that could be used as a bedroom, I am sure she would already be doing it.

Who the fuck has a cellar in an average house in the uk

Op you have my sympathies, I did this for three years and it was tough.

I echo what others have said though, you are a really great parent for putting your children first, and it helped me to remember that when it felt suffocating living and sleeping in the same space.

I tired lots of alternative beds, folding bed, Argos sofa bed, ikea day bed with trundle.

Eventually I bought a joules corner sofa (with deluxe mattress option) on finance. I also got an additional mattress topper which I kept behind the sofa.

It was a pain making it into a bed on a night, but because it looked aesthetically good it made the room feel a nicer place to be in the day.

I also built in a cupboard in the room either the cheapest wood available with loads of shelves and I painted it the colour of the walls. I then stored all my clothes, shoes etc in there. I fixed a mirror to the back of the door and I'd sit on the floor to do my hair/ make up etc.

I actually know how somebody that received a government grant for this reason to have an extension

Oh no. Why

Money mainly, plus we don't know if it's doable without major upheaval as a new hatch will need be cut into one of the bedrooms ceilings ( the largest)I had a beautiful vision for it actually, but the cost is stopping us from going down that route, at least anytime soon.

Thank you, that's is a beautiful idea, well done. I will definitely look into a quality sofa bed.