We have no bedroom and it's stressful

[Fishandchipsareyum]

Hello

We have a small 2 bedroom house and the girls each need a bedroom as they are both autistic and eldest is a pda and 7 years older than the youngest. The girls don't get on my eldest needs a lock on her door inside so her sister isn't allowed in. We are going to put a little latch on it for her.

We initially thought it was going to be ok, we bought an expensive sofa bed from ikea. It was hideous to sleep on so had to replace with a day bed that pulls out to a double but the sofa is in the way so it can't be moved to pull day bed out ( it's a tiny livingroom also) we have so much stress and we have no adult space and all my clothes are mostly in box's under the day bed. Husband sleeps on a mattress.

Guess I'm just wondering if anyone else has no adult bedroom because the children need a room each.

We can't afford to buy a bigger place. So we are stuck.

All that fits In the living room is the seating and the day bed ( single size pushed in) and a small unit for my things. Tv is on the inbuilt fireplace.

Youngest room is large but awkward so I'm not sure it could be split into 2. There is her bed and toys and books and I need to store towels and husbands clothes in her room.

I just can't help dread getting older in this place. I try and be positive but I feel quite down. I work 24/7 ( minus the sleeping tike lol) and I would have enjoyed a place to call my own bedroom for rest.

Could you split the living room into 2 rooms and use on le of bedrooms as a living space and one as your bedroom?

alternatively make a kitchen/living room then the current kitchen as a bedroom?

Do you have a floor plan? I’m pretty good at reworking spaces if you want to share it. Even a rough one would work

Have a YouTube watching session of 'New York city tiny homes' They manage to cram entire apartments into one room in really ingenious ways sometimes.

The best ones I've seen normally have a mezzanine bed- gives a full double bed on a platform with space underneath for seating/ storage etc. With some research and good tools you could probably do it yourself to save costs.

Honestly have a look at the link I shared yesterday to a flat in Copenhagen where the owner (a single mother) put up a partition wall with a hatch in it . By day her bed slides under her son's taller bed on the other side leaving space in the room . At night time she opens the hatch and rolls her bed out again. It looked really good in the pictures.

Loft windows are about £700
Lighting and plugs about £300
Boards - cheap and can be installed with a nail gun!
Same for plaster boards/ insulation.
Plasterer - depends on size for £500
Pulldown loft ladder now more than £500

You can do a good enough job for less than £2000

Are you claiming all the benefits you are entitled to?

Assuming you're in England you should apply for a disabled facilities grant.

We got one for having a third bedroom built so our sons could have a room each.

There's obviously a detailed assessment process but it makes sense to push for it. The worst that can happen is they say no.

I work in sen but not clued up on any grants/assistance etc…… however I have heard of disabilities facilities grant. This may be worth looking into, seeing if they will help with costs to enlarge what space you do have. May be a battle to get anywhere, but word of advice don’t give up easily

Don't think we can post pics on here yet? But yes I could draw one up and post when we can. Thank you.

That sounds tough and there are no perfect options.

I would suggest you look to divide up the large room. There are loads of videos on this on youtube - including a rather random but very talented man called Dear Modern - he spends his time redesigning tiny interior spaces in Asia and the US and I have definitely seen videos where he has divided a room in half to best effect for a bedroom so that each child has a completely separate area. It may not work with your daughters' needs but worth researching.

I would also ruthlessly declutter so you feel like you have a bit more room.

OP if funds are limited I would seriously consider the loft option. I think just having a dedicated sleeping area and freeing up the living room will make the whole place more relaxed for you. Board the loft, some nice lights, a bed and a rug and some storage boxes in the eaves.

https://pin.it/3pAMG4wJv

Oh fuck off what do you think big families did for years? 🙈 Do you honestly think everyone can afford a 3/4 bedroom house? In social housing same gender siblings can share to adulthood! The OP can’t return one of her kids because her house is too small! How did she know she was going to have children with autism/PDA? Most siblings at those ages would co-exist just fine in a bedroom!

This is incredible. Not sure what budget OP has but this is genius if she could make it work.

We have a two bedroom house, also two autistic children who are opposites and fairly far apart in age. Getting a bigger mortgage or moving wasn't possible, we looked at splitting one room, which is fairly cheap as it doesn't have to be a permanent structural change. We do have a living room and dining room, so we were able to turn the living room into our bedroom and now have a small communal space. Before changing around rooms we tried a partition with Kallax furniture etc, and using cabin beds to give extra room, but despite not seeing each other it didn't give them privacy. Hopefully you might be able to use the loft as some point. Partitioning could be an answer? And if it's at all possible to split a bedroom, that could help if you use space-saving furniture.

Not sure if it's been suggested but do you have a couple of meters at the back of your house? If so Dunster do add a rooms. Basically an all year round conservatory. They are about £10,000. Not sure if they do finance or if this is an option.

@Fishandchipsareyum Just wanted to post in solidarity and experience as we are in this boat. Small 2 bedroom place and 3 kids so we have done this for a good few years now.

The difference is, we really don't mind and find it quite cosy. Multifunctional furniture is important. We've use external cupboards in hallways etc, as well as wardrobe space in the children's rooms for clothes.

The kids have set ups in their room so that even as they get older they can go and hang out in their rooms too (though they are too little at the moment for this to be a problem) - desks, games consoles etc and their own TV or tab. This means that when they get old enough to have a bed time similar to ours, we don't feel guilty about still sending them to their bedrooms at around 8pm.

I don't like traditional sofa beds but we do like the comfortable corner ones that just require one bit to turn it into a big double bed - these types normally have storage too for your blankets.

What I also like about the corner sofa model is that somebody can still be using the sofa function (I tend to go to sleep earlier than DP).

Other advice is, keep the living room as free from toys as possible once it's time to settle down for the evening. It mind sound a bit mean but we really don't allow kids stuff to take over, we've already given them the bedrooms!

Also, section parts of the room for different uses. We have an office space, vanity space etc. These can be really small but still nice.

Focus on room flow and make sure furniture is arranged in a way that makes sense and feels nice to walk into/around.

Make use of upper wall space for storage without taking up floor space, either through floating shelves or cabinets.

Might you be eligible for this? www.gov.uk/disabled-facilities-grants

Have a Google of bunk bed room dividers. Probably need to get custom built but there are some good ideas out there.

Also I've been looking at doing those temporary divider walls. I think my son with SEN will always need his own room, but have been thinking a lot about how we can divide up our decent sized living room into either 2 bedrooms, or a living area and third bedroom.

I've been doing a lot of this type of planning, it's nice to hear we're not the only family in the same boat!

Good grief! Give me strength. 🙄

'Oh just put an extension on your house! It will only cost £10,000!' FGS!

I haven't read everything so apologies if this has been suggested before, but could you split the large bedroom the way that gives you the best layout, so one room has no window. Then instead of putting a stud wall all the way to the ceiling put a glass internal window along the whole top of the new wall. High up enough so they have privacy but big enough to give natural light.

Personally I'd make the lounge into a bedroom for one of your girls, then you have the biggest bedroom as a bed/sitting room. It's certainly the cheapest option and if it doesn't work you can reshuffle and rethink without having spent on new walls and doorways etc.

Remember your house just has to work for you, stuff what other people think about the layout.

Just want to say I have a PDA DD and I don't think people get how utterly exhausting this type of autism is.

Can’t do full conversion but if it’s just for you two adults to sleep in eg mattress in floor could you diy it with a proper ‘step’ access lift ladder?

otherwise remove the awkward fitted wardrobes and split the large bedroom up

will your older dtr be living with you as an adult or do you see her being able to be independent?

or invest c £3-4k on a really good flip out sofa bed so you don’t need two lots of furniture. There are some really easy to use and bedding stays in position. I am not convinced Murphy beds will be cheaper or space saving

Great idea. It could be split into 2 narrow rooms instead. Maybe get a bifold door for one side ( other side could just be open from main door) at least 2 singles would fit.

You are not alone. I agree, it makes me feel better knowing this too. Sounds like you have some good ideas.