Feel like crying! What is it with references??

[LavenderFields7]

Been a stay-at-home mum for 10 years, decided to try and return to work - no luck with paid job positions due to zero ability to provide references. Fine. I will do 6 months free voluntary work - nowhere will take me without 2 references 😭 A charity shop rang me today to say they can’t accept my application offering 3 full days free work a week for 6 months because I can’t provide professional references. They didn’t even ask what qualifications I’ve got (hint, I’m ridiculously overqualified for till work). This is the 5th volunteer role I’ve been rejected for. AIBU? Is this normal for volunteer jobs?? Why don’t they make it easier 😢

Do your children do clubs? Volunteer there they won't want references, then use them as references for future applications

Do they have to be work references? Would a friend/acquaintance be OK?

Or volunteer at your kids school

That does seem quite excessive- surely the sort of people wanting volunteer jobs are least likely to have professional references! Do you have any friends who are in professional /responsible roles and might write you a reference?

This is very strange. I read Gransnet sometimes and a lot of the posters on there talk about their volunteer work - mostly working in charity shops. As many of them must have been retired for some time, how do they get references?

I did voluntary work during Covid, they asked for a character reference from a friend. Or could
you volunteer at DC’s school, or do something like being a school governor?

I had a charity shop tell me I needed a reference, but I could just get a friend to do it. The point of this escapes me.

(I eventually got a reference by volunteering with an environmental charity, they don't require references biut will give them.)

Could you massage the facts somewhat, ie get your dh to be a previous employer etc, if they just check via phone call

Sorry but being 10 years out of work you're not ridiculously overqualified for anything.

If you are looking down on roles like they're beneath you, no amount of references are going to help you.

that is weird. try again, I find jobs and volunteering places just like that , with or without references....sometimes I give people to reference me even who have been shit nasty to me LOL and I still get the jobs

I worked in a nice shop in retail and a woman was nasty to me and abused me verbally when I was alone on shift. No cameras in the shop. Then she lied about me to Head office and they decided to pull gross misonduct on me for me being abused !!!!!!!!!!!!!! - GUESS WHAT? I STILL DO GIVE THEM AS REFEREES knowing that my God exist and His justice prevails.

Not at all normal for volunteers roles in my 30 odd years in the sector. References, yes, but character references not professional ones. Preferably from the sort of person who'd be able to sign your passport photo. If it were me I'd ask if that would suffice (it should). If it's still a no then keep trying other places. If you have a council for voluntary services that's a good place to check out opportunities. Unless you've a passion for shop work, I think you'll find there are more interesting roles than those you've been rejected for.

Have you got any other friends trying to get back into work? I was a guinea pig for my friend’s coaching training and a model for another’s fledgling photography business and they both gave me a reference for volunteer work. In fact, quite a lot of my early references were from swapping freelance skills with friends. And I went freelance to avoid the worst of the reference problem in the first place. Any chance you could do that for a bit?

Do a couple of in person courses and ask the tutors.

Some of the skills for life courses offer references after finishing them.

My child's club now requires references!
I'm already a volunteer there - it's another admin task for the people already volunteering there.

Don't get me started on volunteer roles and the hoops you are made to jump through to help THEM!

As others have said, are they asking for professional references? Do you still know anyone you previously worked with? No idea whether your kids head could write anything?
What about a food bank or other voluntary post instead? Or doing a course to get you back into a role?

@RudbekiasAreSun you might like to start your own thread, you clearly have a lot to get off your chest

Do you get / could you apply for universal credit so you can get access to a Work Coach? Our local job centre has voluntary schemes for people who are returning to work after a long break, where they can do a fairly short placement with a local company (usually retail) with a guaranteed reference at the end of it. Maybe your job centre has something similar.

OP, have faith,
I returned to work after 14 years!!

I had a friend with a professional role (nurse) provide a character reference and the chair of the PTA, as I was secretary for a while.

They confirmed who I was, how long they had known me. More so I could prove I hadn't been in prison all that time I think.

So even a rocket scientist would not be deemed over qualified by your standards?

If you worked for a company with HR may still give a ref years later. Dates worked etc.
Would they accept a ref from a friend with a professional job.
Doing a short course is another option then use college for a ref.

Just ignore this person, of course you can do this.

I volunteer for a charit6 y and didn't need references, but I know the CeO. You must be able to get a couple of references, friends relatives etc. my friend runs PDSA charity shop and they are really struggling for them.