Feel like crying! What is it with references??

[LavenderFields7]

Been a stay-at-home mum for 10 years, decided to try and return to work - no luck with paid job positions due to zero ability to provide references. Fine. I will do 6 months free voluntary work - nowhere will take me without 2 references 😭 A charity shop rang me today to say they can’t accept my application offering 3 full days free work a week for 6 months because I can’t provide professional references. They didn’t even ask what qualifications I’ve got (hint, I’m ridiculously overqualified for till work). This is the 5th volunteer role I’ve been rejected for. AIBU? Is this normal for volunteer jobs?? Why don’t they make it easier 😢

I can echo this experience and also found it so strange. I’m also ridiculously over qualified for volunteering posts but want to give back to the local community. Due to a restructure my two closest professional contacts took early retirement and I have found myself not volunteering due to a lack of people to contact.

Is there nobody you used to work with or at the very least the HR department could confirm you worked there?

If I really had to, I could definitely get references from the place I worked at 10 years ago. It would take some out of the blue messages though 😅

I had this too - chicken and egg situation.

This. When I was a volunteer in a charity shop, my neighbour provided a character reference and a friend who worked in a professional role. The shop manager told me that occasionally volunteers were less than honest and had to be “let go”, so they try to take on volunteers who can be trusted etc.

@LavenderFields7 where are you based? I oversee close to 40 charity shops and we could be grateful to have you

The point of references is often (in schools etc) to show that you exist - you are who you say you are as someone has known you for a while. It's all safeguarding!

Your references could be a leader of a playgroup you took the kids to - someone from your kids school office,their cub/scout/brownie leader etc. A mate who has a reasonable job title etc.

If you have NOONE who knows of your exisitance, I can see why they don't want to take you on.

Does the reference need to be relating to your work as a professional, or from someone who is a professional.

I’ve done quite a few for friends for various things, on the basis that I’m a chartered professional and know the person.

Many people volunteer because they have retired, but still want to contribute. Apart from the fact that it may actually cost money to volunteer (parking or transport fares), it can be difficult, especially if you move to an area where you haven’t established contacts or friendships. One of the reasons for volunteering can be to meet people, but you cant do that if you can’t get a foot in any door.

Locally, charities are advertising for staff and say they’re very short staffed. Not surprising, if they require so many hoops being jumped through.

Utter rubbish. The first job I applied for after 15 years out of the workforce (raising children) were concerned I was overqualified and wouldn’t stay for long! Not all qualifications lose their worth.

I was fortunate that I’d kept in touch with a previous boss who gave a great personal reference referring to my time working for him, and my DCs headteacher also gave me a reference based on my volunteering at the school.

As others have said, most volunteer roles will accept personal references - ideally from professionals (civil servants, teachers, doctors etc) but they don't have to know you through work. Or can you put down your previous employer(s)? Even if you've not worked there for years presumably there is still a HR/head office contact who could look at their records and confirm you worked there? This is often all anyone gets in a reference anyway!

It's to check your character. For all they know you have been in jail for petty larceny. And working as a volunteer you will mix with many vulnerable people.

It's ridiculous system as you can get any mate to write you a reference. I've often done it for friends but I wouldn't do it if I had any doubts about them. I say something along the lines

'I've known X for this many years as a friend/PTA volunteer/fellow parishioner . I can confirm she lives at X address. I have always found her reliable and trustworthy and to the best of my knowledge she is of excellent character. '.

As a charity co-ordinator I once got sick of the reference requirement and recruited someone for a p/t role that didn't require any cash handling or contact with vulnerable people. She was excellent and we worked very well together. After a few months she relocated and I gave her a card and a gift and a hug.

when I opened the papers the next week she had indeed relocated - to a prison for quite a long jail sentence for embezzling a lot of money from her employers.

i was more conscientious about references after that.

This is true, a standard reference is nothing more than that and doesn't explain any personal characteristics, so I wonder why companies bother to request so many references really as they don't say anything meaningful.
A character reference probably says more about someone's personal credentials.

I work in a charity shop for a national chain, referees for our volunteers have to be over 18, known them for more than 2 years, not related or a partner. So friends, neighbours, teachers etc are acceptable.

We accept young people doing their Duke of Edinburgh and no way will a 14 year old have professional references.

Have you been involved in any groups with your kids while you've been at home?
One of the peer supporters at my breastfeeding group gave me a reference for a voluntary role, as I didn't want to ask my paid employer. She just said I had been attending the group, was supportive to other members, stuff like that.

Also are there any courses you're doing to get back in the workplace? Tutors from these can often provide references

That’s crazy, my teenager got a volunteer job at a charity shop, obviously they didn’t have references!

The job market is tough for over qualified and over experienced people who have no gaps at all. You could possibly try civil service as they are more lenient with those restarting their career from square one. They will want references but you may be able to use ex colleagues or professional contacts from a few years back.

What about character reference? My friend got a job like that, similar situation to you.

Wow I'm quite shocked at this

Where are you supposed to start then if you can't start with volunteering? Really sad

They probably don't remember you or care.

What a load of nonsense. Time wasting , stupid admin.

Set up some fake email addresses and supply them yourself.

I support someone with Autism and she just got her key worker to write a reference for her volunteer jobs.

Of course references are going to be required. You will be working with cash and with goods that have some monetary value. You might also be working with vulnerable people depending on the nature of the work.

It shouldn’t need to be “professional” references. It could be things like from your child’s school if you have helped out there and are known to them, or from your church.

But I’m just really surprised that some people don’t seem to understand why they might request references, and it’s even worse that some people are suggesting fabricating them.

I’m sorry to say but after a decade out of the workplace you’re no longer ridiculously over qualified for anything.

The number of SAHM CVs I get across my desk where skills include “time management” and the examples given are “getting 3 kids out the door” is insane. You’re going up against people who have spent the last 10 years building real professional experience.

You need to reframe your thinking entirely as a starting point. References for voluntary work can be character references from friends who have known you a long time for example.

No need to be rude. I volunteered at my kids primary school. Helping at a lunchtime club, listening to kids read without giving references. I had been a parent for several years and had a dbs check. This was 8 years ago though so maybe things have changed