Feel like crying! What is it with references??

[LavenderFields7]

Been a stay-at-home mum for 10 years, decided to try and return to work - no luck with paid job positions due to zero ability to provide references. Fine. I will do 6 months free voluntary work - nowhere will take me without 2 references 😭 A charity shop rang me today to say they can’t accept my application offering 3 full days free work a week for 6 months because I can’t provide professional references. They didn’t even ask what qualifications I’ve got (hint, I’m ridiculously overqualified for till work). This is the 5th volunteer role I’ve been rejected for. AIBU? Is this normal for volunteer jobs?? Why don’t they make it easier 😢

Try looking at local committees OP, they're often desperate for volunteers. I am a SAHM but I volunteer with our village hall committee. No references were required. After 6 months or so you may find the committee is willing to give you the reference you might need, plus you're giving back to your local community. Also, you make new local contacts who are always useful.

References are bullshit. Most companies will only provide employment dates anyway

A lot of large organisations are run by robots. Find a smaller charity to work with

Ask a friend who is a professional to supply a character reference

I would have thought that charity shops require character references, not professional references.

They should definitely ask for 2 references! Safer recruitment requires this even for volunteers.

Yes. I’ve needed an enhanced DBS for one role (vol), a basic for others (paid and vol), a gov security check for another (vol). Similarly with references. It is to do with the role and the level of contact and risk, not whether paid or voluntary. For obvious reasons.

See if yiu can volunteer at your kids school reading help and hopefully they give you a reference. Can you do 2 weeks voluntary at friend or family work ? And then add that to cv or reference. Can’t you give a personal reference. Can you contact anyone on linked in that you with 10 years ago ?

Hi. I feel for you. I was a stay at mum for 10 years after having my 2 DC. I was a senior Radiographer before hand. I decided I wanted to go back to work and unfortunately you fo have to start at the bottom again, I started as a GP receptionist and have worked my way back up to where I wanted to be which is a HCA in a drs practice with a good work life balance. With regards to references, I was lucky that I was able to use my last employer as a reference as that was the first job I had after qualifying at uni,I did also have to provide a character reference from 2 people. Good luck with it all, you will get there however frustrating it is.

I work fur a well-known charity as a volunteer coordinator and we do not ask for professional references for our volunteers. 2 character references from friends/neighbours etc are perfectly adequate.

I agree. It totally puts me off doing charity/voluntary work due to all the hoops you need to jump through. It shouldn't be this difficult!

@3678194b it's utter nonsense. We have phones and emails. A quick check.

Surely only asking for professional references is indirect discrimination against women who are housewives.

Arg, I will face this issue at some point.

My old boss was an arsehole. He even refused to give a reference to a letting agent when I wanted to move. He just had to confirm I worked there so they knew I was in employment like I said. He refused.... and I was still working for him at the time!

I needed 2 references when I applied to volunteer for St John Ambulance. One was a course tutor for a night school course I was doing, and another was a friend. She didn't have to be of a particular profession. I don't even think she was working at the time.

I have not worked or been on a course in years though, and at some point I would like to volunteer.

Good luck though, OP. I hope you find something soon.

@LavenderFields7 I started volunteering at my kids school office and also 4 years on parent council. And i also was a volunteer at a local charity. All good for the CV. Then moved onto temping and then moved on to full time work at 51 and having spent a long time at home. You still have skills they may be a bit rusty, but they are still there. When I went to the agency, I got a reference from the school admin I worked with and someone from the charity. Good luck hope you find work soon.

Offer to volunteer at a school that your children go to . They will take you on

@LavenderFields7 what field is your phd in?

Get in touch with you local social services. They may run a befriending service. They would link you up with older people who have similar likes to you. You would visit them in their home, or take them out for coffee, cinema, theatre etc, whatever they liked. You will not be out of pocket. It's a wonderful thing to do, alot if older people can be living alone and would value your company so much. Usually spending a morning or afternoon, whatever you can fit in. It is a voluntary role, but you will gain so much from it. You will need to have disclosure and barring service checks, they would tell you what they need. It is very rewarding on both sides and l promise you there is nothing better than making someone happy.

Read carefully. That isn’t what she said nor the point of OP post.

Do you have a professional friend who can give you a character reference?

schools look for people to help with reading- needs a background check which they will pay for but even better for your cv.

dog walking at dog rescue?

local hospital?

I've been asked for references for voluntary work, but personal references - not professional. Asking for professional references seems a bit strange? most of volunteers in my experience are retired and would struggle like you to provide professional references. There must be other organisations out there who are more reasonable in their requirements.
Alternatively, just provide personal references from amongst your working friends (so use your own interpretation of the term!). Not family/relatives.

..and to add
My council has a Volunteering service with website with a whole list of organisations looking for volunteers, so you can browse and pick something that suits your interests and matches your future work aspirations.

its all well and good saying get a friend to do it, but what if you have NO friends?? I do not have any and one point of doing vol work is to meet people😪

There are ways around it.
Volunteer at school and get refs from them.
Do some casual work for a small local firm - maybe run by a school mum.
Do some self-employed work and get refs from clients. E.g. do some paid babysitting/after school care for friends, or help a friend who runs a small business or craft set up a stall at a local fair or fete and get a ref from them.

Or set up as self employed properly. If you are massively over qualified for cashier work, don't go for cashier work, find a way to monetise your skills as a freelancer. That's what I did. It was brilliant. I worked hours to suit myself - was always free to pick DC up. If they were ill I looked after them, then worked at night when they fell asleep. I took on extra work if we needed money to pay for some big item, less work if DC needed me around more when they were going through tough times.

Please don't do this, My mum did it and it makes it really hard to make friends when you're mum is one of the "teachers"

I had a parent who really was one of the teachers. It happens.

School I think unlikely to give a reference. My school wouldn’t.