Feel like crying! What is it with references??

[LavenderFields7]

Been a stay-at-home mum for 10 years, decided to try and return to work - no luck with paid job positions due to zero ability to provide references. Fine. I will do 6 months free voluntary work - nowhere will take me without 2 references 😭 A charity shop rang me today to say they can’t accept my application offering 3 full days free work a week for 6 months because I can’t provide professional references. They didn’t even ask what qualifications I’ve got (hint, I’m ridiculously overqualified for till work). This is the 5th volunteer role I’ve been rejected for. AIBU? Is this normal for volunteer jobs?? Why don’t they make it easier 😢

We're talking 2014 not 1896, so a company with a HR department will still have records going back. You could get a couple of basic factual references from past jobs and offer a character reference as well?

I’ve provided a few friends with character references, what places are you applying to?

I gave a charity shop reference for my retired neighbour who sometimes helped me w babysitting.
it was more of a character reference (reliable, kind, trustworthy, friendly, helpful etc) but I am sure that’s fine for a charity shop volunteer.

Also many forms have returning to work schemes. We do, it’s a professional role and we only require character references. Try and look for companies that offer this. The last returner we took went straight into a flexi role for £40k base salary.

It’s ridiculous because nowadays most large companies will only say ‘worked here from x date to x date’ whether you deserve a good reference or a bad one anyway

My HR department, in a social services charity, says this is needed, although they do roll over fairly quickly when pushed at least for non-client facing roles. It is clearly a policy which discriminates against women, who are most likely to have career breaks for children and caring. It also makes temps and interims very difficult because they may need to provide a very large number of references and aren't always on HR databases.

I would challenge anyone who demands 5 years of references, explaining in detail what you've been doing and why its difficult to provide references. Try to get some, even if its from a professional who knows you.

Find a role where there's no safeguarding issues - perhaps an environmental charity?

Its not to prove you haven't been in prison - that's what a DBS check is for. Given that most work references these days are just 'Jane worked here from Jan 2010 to Dec 2015. We won't tell you anything else' its hard to see what the point is.

I work in a school, we require references for all of our volunteers as part of our safeguarding processes. I would be concerned about any organisation who would let you work with children, whether paid or unpaid, without references.

Are you all right? 😆

Do you seriously for one second believe you need no references working with children?

Do you really have nobody in your life that would provide you with a reference of any kind? For a volunteering role I’d be surprised if they wouldn’t accept a personal reference of some kind.

I think you took what she said and pulled out the most negative spin on it you could. Clearly she doesn’t think she’s above it because she’s applying for volunteer positions. She’s just frustrated and looking for advice. It’s not an uncommon situation for mothers. You’re on a mothering forum. You could’ve tried to be encouraging or just said nothing.

Also college/university tutors etc. I did a Masters when I was 30 and they wanted a reference from higher education and my degree tutor was happy to provide a reference. They might not remember loads but all you really need from a reference these days is someone to confirm you are who you say you are, aren't an axe-murderer etc. No disrespect to axe-murderers.

I work for a charity, the only roles we require references for are till or finance-based, lone working, or working with children. There's plenty of roles where we don't ask for references, and most of the time it's character references too (with DBS required for certain roles that we will carry out). Lots of positions give certified training too, like first aid.

Try a reference from a professional person who is a friend. The sorts of jobs that can sign a passport photo for you.

What an unnecessarily unkind post
Being out of the paid workforce does not mean incompetent or inexperienced or unqualified or unable.

The OP could be a KC for all you know. People leave paid employment to be carers or parents a lot

And yes if op has tertiary education or a trade or long term experience in the past coupled with the transferable skill
Of caring, she is ridiculously overqualified.

Someone on Mumsnet should be aware of this & if not well the old adage rings true.
"If you can't say anything nice...."

Work coaches can't give references.

I'm a volunteer and the whole process took almost a year, including personal and professional references, forms, meeting people in person, all manner of checks and balances.

Say you've been out of work, and what do they suggest.

YANBU at all, OP. It's gotten ridiculous how many hoops you need to jump through these days.

Funnily enough, charities local to us are constantly crying out for more volunteers yet are adamant they need 2-3 refs and experience for the simplest role. Gone are the days where you would be given a chance to prove you could do the job.

Speak to the HR department where you applied - see if they will take payslips as evidence of work, if you still have them. When we do refencing and receive references from other employers - they state start and end dates of employments on 99% of them only and do not give any personal references anymore due to exposure to legal conflict. So I would take your payslips as evidence of work especially if you spent a good time period with that employer even 10 years ago.

No need.....

I feel your pain op. I'm going through the same process, it's a nightmare. The voluntary sector are supposedly crying out for help but you seem to have to jump through hoops for an unpaid position these days, it's ridiculous. And I'm applying for home based voluntary jobs!
My mum used to volunteer, she asked in the charity shop on a Friday and had started the following Monday.

Supermarkets and fast food will hire anyone. Trust me. Staff turnover is insane.

I'd ask your DCs teacher or health visitor, your local faith leader (if you know them), or even your next door neighbour or leader of a social group.
Failing that, your uni, college or school or any job that you've ever worked at.

I think it is fairly unusual. They usually ask for character references, neighbours would do for that or a long term friend. I've provided references for a neighbour and two friends and I didn't employ them.

Keep trying, charity shops have to be careful because there is scope for all sorts of underhand shenanigans but there will be a place for you somewhere. Why not write in to the head office of a few? Many are also happy with one or two days a week.

In the meantime keep looking for a proper job that will give you some on the job training, or do a course to refresh your skills.

Good luck.