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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DD demanding chocolate when she's on her period

614 replies

Homeymum2 · 04/02/2025 16:35

My 14 yo DD insists that all her friends parents buy them chocolates and pamper them when they are cycling -

I'm being told I'm a terrible mum and badgered for chocolates

Am I an outlier to not cater to this?

OP posts:
Duckies · 04/02/2025 17:49

ERthree · 04/02/2025 17:42

My periods started when i was 8, absolutely flooding by 10 and on the pill by 14 to try and ease them, i had endometriosis for 30 years, 5 pregnancies, 3 births, a hysterectomy and i am in the middle of the menopause and yes i can honestly say i just get on with it, of course i have whinged about it all, ran a hot bath and taken pain killers but i haven't had to have a pamper night, the world didn't stop because i had my period.

Show quote history

This all sounds really difficult, I think you deserved some caring and kindness from yourself and others

SpanThatWorld · 04/02/2025 17:49

Pocket money so she can buy her own chocolate.

Noone needs to be pampered because they're having a period.

Kindness is due if people don't feel well whatever the reason but you don't need baths, candles, fluffy socks or whatever 5 days out of every 28.

Trimalata · 04/02/2025 17:49

My word, some of you sound like Mrs Doyle, "Maybe I like the misery".

You don't get medals for martyrdom, you know..

Gizmo1983 · 04/02/2025 17:50

Chocolate and painkillers if needed yes why not, pampering no

WattleTyler · 04/02/2025 17:51

We never have chocolate or biscuits in the house…but why can’t she buy her own if she wants it?

Globusmedia · 04/02/2025 17:51

RampantIvy · 04/02/2025 17:47

No. We don't keep chocolate in the house as a rule.

Maybe we are the weird ones 😁

Show quote history

This whole thread is making me feel like a massive weirdo.

  • I never have chocolate just in the house
  • I've never craved chocolate on my period
  • I would never have told my parents when I was on my period
  • I didn't realise 14 year olds couldn't buy themselves chocolate or run a bath
  • I wouldn't find it romantic if my husband was fussing over me while I was on my period
NiftyKoala · 04/02/2025 17:51

JandamiHash · 04/02/2025 16:37

FGS OP it’s chocolate not crack cocaine. Why won’t you buy her any?

My mom always had some in the house. Now I do that for my daughter. Couldn't you get some mini bars to give?

SemperIdem · 04/02/2025 17:52

Spicycake · 04/02/2025 17:27

Yes, you do crave chocolate when you have your period. Why are you denying her this

What, every single woman?

Dweetfidilove · 04/02/2025 17:53

Hopper123 · 04/02/2025 16:45

It's a tik token thing where mums make them whole boards of snacks and treats with cooling pads etc it's so OTT I imagine that's what she's demanding?? I wouldn't donthat I'd simply get a big bar of dairy milk in tell her to help herself there's some in the cupboard and pass her over the box of ibuprofen if she needs it. I'm all for understanding it sucks especially if it's new to her but she also has to understand she's just got to get on with it, obviously might be a bit different if she has pain as bad as endometriosis etc but if it's just normal heavy periods I'm afraid it's a case of suck it up. We'd all love a day off and pampering but it doesn't happen in the real world

Sweet Jesus 🙄. This does sound rather OTT.
Chocolate and hot water bottle is surely sufficient.

Rocksaltrita · 04/02/2025 17:53

I don’t think a little TLC and understanding would go amiss, but I’m not one to link food with rewards or to comfort eat. I’d rather run her a nice bath, scented candles, relaxation-centered stuff and painkillers than stuffing her full of chocolate. Some in moderation maybe, or her favorite dinner, but I wouldn’t be peddling the message that period equals junk food outright.

Trolllol · 04/02/2025 17:54

Some people see affection in the action of giving gifts. More talked about with romantic partners but connection takes many forms. It would be a nice gesture to show you care about her needs.

StormyPotatoes · 04/02/2025 17:55

My lovely DH supplies me with chocolate, hot water bottles and wine if I fancy it. It’s just being kind to your loved ones.

Just pick her up a chocolate bar and a £1 face mask. It’s just showing a little consideration for others and just maybe she can model how she treats others based on how you treat her.

Maboscelar · 04/02/2025 17:56

I eat my own bodyweight in chocolate when I'm on. DD does too. Everyone in this house knows that day one of a period is for lying on the sofa eating chocolate. Just buy her some!

BunnyLake · 04/02/2025 17:56

So is there a reason why you won’t buy her chocolate? Any reason is a good enough reason in my books to have chocolate. Sounds rather joyless of you.

CautiousLurker01 · 04/02/2025 17:56

I think the chocolate is sort of a metaphor here, OP. It’s her asking her mum for a cuddle and to acknowledge she hasn’t taken periods/puberty in her stride and that part of her is still a little girl wanting her mum to kiss her owie better.

So, just buy her some chocolate? Show her you love her and she is still your little girl.

This is not the hill to die on today…

LuluBlakey1 · 04/02/2025 17:57

Lovebirdslovetea · 04/02/2025 16:48

I think you should buy her chocolate. Her body needs it during her cycle.

What a heap of rubbish!

IWillAlwaysBeinaClubWithYouin1973 · 04/02/2025 17:57

That's your DD and she's 14. To coin a MN phrase "give your head a wobble".

My eldest DD is 23 now and was a bit down this week so I sent her a small bar of chocolate in the post, I think it's a privilege to be able to do that for your own child. FFS, competitive misery on MN sometimes. Makes me think how on earth you will cope with problems as she grows older and you feel the need to restrict the comfort available to her.

BunnyLake · 04/02/2025 17:57

SemperIdem · 04/02/2025 17:52

What, every single woman?

Show quote history

I certainly did when I had periods.

2024onwardsandup · 04/02/2025 17:58

I always eat chocolate the day before my period - craving I can't stop. If she wants it get it for her

LooksThroughaGlass · 04/02/2025 17:58

Globusmedia · 04/02/2025 17:51

This whole thread is making me feel like a massive weirdo.

  • I never have chocolate just in the house
  • I've never craved chocolate on my period
  • I would never have told my parents when I was on my period
  • I didn't realise 14 year olds couldn't buy themselves chocolate or run a bath
  • I wouldn't find it romantic if my husband was fussing over me while I was on my period
Show quote history

I agree.

I'm team @Globusmedia

Where did all this come from?

LondonJax · 04/02/2025 17:58

When I was 14 I sometimes had painful periods - not to the point that I couldn't go to school but still heavy cramping. Both my parents could tell when I was having a time of it as I'd look tired apparently. It wasn't every month but when I had a bad first day it was horrible.

When I got home from school my dad, who was always in before my mum, would hand me a Mars Bar and tell me a hot water bottle was on my bed. He knew the benefit of a bit of sugar and some TLC. I didn't become a person that 'gave into period pain', nor did I get 'hooked on chocolate'. I just learned what I needed on the occasional time my period caused me problems - better to have a bar of chocolate, feel better and carry on rather than having to take a day off because you feel like shite. And anyway, what's wrong with giving yourself some TLC occasionally?

I'm also someone who can get a bit 'woozy' if I give blood or when I had to have investigations because I was having problems conceiving. I don't know if it's blood pressure or 'shock' related. But chocolate used to be my stand by as it would give me a hit that seemed to stabilise me so I used to buy a bar on my way to hospital. If I needed it, it was there and would be guaranteed to work.

SereneCapybara · 04/02/2025 17:59

When I was young, I ate chocolate just once a month - I'd get an intense craving for it during my period. Maybe there's something in it that her body needs.

Why not buy it and give her a hot water bottle or whatever pampering she wishes she had? It costs nothing to show a bit of loving kindness to your child.

ChangingHistory · 04/02/2025 17:59

Wow this must be a social media contagion thing. Why on earth would you need someone to pamper you and buy you chocolate?

I have horrendous periods, I want someone to buy me Co codomol and keep my hot water bottle topped up. I don't want a crunchie with a bow on it and a shoulder rub.

Surely this gives the nessaged that periods are something we must suffer and therefore we deserve pampering for making it through? Periods are normal. If you feel crap you need to get whatever helps but if you're OK you get on with it.

Surely at 14 she can drop by the shop on the way to school and buy some chocolate or grab a chocolate biscuit out of the cupboard?

FindusMakesPancakes · 04/02/2025 18:00

Globusmedia · 04/02/2025 17:51

This whole thread is making me feel like a massive weirdo.

  • I never have chocolate just in the house
  • I've never craved chocolate on my period
  • I would never have told my parents when I was on my period
  • I didn't realise 14 year olds couldn't buy themselves chocolate or run a bath
  • I wouldn't find it romantic if my husband was fussing over me while I was on my period
Show quote history

Yup. Same here. Age 52, no one has ever treated me like I am some delicate flower that has to be handled with care just because of something entirely normal happening.
God help these kids once they reach the workplace if they think that a period needs special treatment.

LooksThroughaGlass · 04/02/2025 18:00

It's not chocolate per se that women 'want'.

PMS is known to trigger cravings for carbs and sugar.

It's not a 'thing' though to eat them once a period starts. Or create a competition of which mums buy you sweet stuff or not.