DD demanding chocolate when she's on her period

[Homeymum2]

My 14 yo DD insists that all her friends parents buy them chocolates and pamper them when they are cycling -

I'm being told I'm a terrible mum and badgered for chocolates

Am I an outlier to not cater to this?

She's 14 and she doesn't get enough pocket money to buy herself some chocolate?

But that's not the case for everyone. There's always 'treat' food in my cupboards. We're all healthy and not overweight (4 adults). Not everyone has food issues.

I agree emotional eating isn't a good thing, but there's a balance. Over restriction can in some cases cause food issues. It did for dm who has struggled with weight all of her life, because it was restricted as a child. Once she had her own money and could eat what she liked, she did and sadly now has diabetes.

My dd doesn't like chocolate, but I've always run her a bath and made her a hot choc if she's had a rubbish day or she's feeling a bit washed out - for any reason. She's 14, what's wrong with looking after her a bit?

That said, if she's using it as an excuse to demands loads of other people's treats then maybe a monthly allowance for her to buy what she wants and she can put it away for when she wants it? Or if she already gets pocket money then budgeting these treats in should be encouraged.

As long, as it's not being kept from your DD for a serious reason, let her have some chocolate. Periods can be vile and I definitely wouldn't want to have one without chocolate and other treats

I mean.. I would buy some chocolate for the house she would be welcome to crack in to. But pampering?! No... I.. no...

Would make her a hot water bottle and some sympathy but that would be my lot.

Depends. If she is struggling with pain etc. then I would definitely take care of her and yes, probably provide some chocolate because it's a legitimate craving (sugar, magnesium).

If the 'pampering' aspect is in any way related to this social media trend then it would be a hard no from me: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/oAUVtnsThlQ

Me too, chocolate treats, cosy movie night, and a hot water bottle. It's just nice things to do when somebody is feeling off, periods can be really painful, esp for young girls who aren't used to them. I used to be in bed for a day sometimes at that age. My dad would always go to the shop for me if i needed him to, even when there wasn't anything wrong with me! I obviously didn't tell him I was on my period; he probably guessed by my foul moods!

Daughters remember stuff like this when they’re older and in my experience really love the feeling of being giving some extra tlc when they need it. Periods can be v painful and a little bit of chocolate might really cheer her up and make her feel cared for. No need to ‘pamper’ but hugs, kindness, understanding and chocolate make life better.

JEEEZ! How times have changed. I was thrown some sanitary towels and told to get on with it...

Needing chocolate to help with a period is totally new to me (after nearly 40 years of having them). When did this become a thing?

I do like chocolate and eat it if i fancy it but I've never linked it to my cycle.

My mum made sure i had painkillers available and those did the trick for any discomfort. I was/am a very private person though and I would have hated reporting to my mum whenever I was bleeding out of my vagina. I agree periods are yuck and a nuisance but I never felt I needed "pampering". I'm sorry for those who have really debilitating periods but surely womem shouldn't become invalids for 25% of their lives. Men might take over control of the world or something ... oh wait ...

I'm now doubting myself because I have a nearly 11 year old daughter and her time will come and I'm wondering which approach is best. I'm wary that giving her the impression that you need treats and pampering to get through it will make her believe that it's worse than it is.

So bloody true, this site sometimes is bonkers! Just get her some chocolate fgs.

I think it's the balance, not about it's your period so you neeeed this to survive but I know this is happening and it's not the best time so I'd like to do something nice for you?

I see it not as encouraging helplessness but as exploring little things that make her feel better so she can have some coping mechanisms in her arsenal for when things aren't perfect later in life.

Poor thing, I used to want to kill for chocolate around my period, when I was younger! Got such sugar cravings due to hormones. Poor girl show some sympathy, buying her a bar of chocolate won’t hurt 😢

I’d have liked that as a teenager. Wanting to eat chocolate and be pampered isn’t a bad thing.

This is a woman preparing herself a nice snack and drink and lighting a candle before getting into a bath she has run for herself. Giving yourself a little bit of extra comfort when you're feeling a bit rough is not illegal you know. Giving your daughters a little bit of extra comfort when they are feeling rough is also not illegal and isn't going to turn them into entitled monsters.

What struck me is that when I was a teenager I would never discuss that I was on my period with my parents as I felt it was private and would have been embarrassed . Appreciate mine were manageable and not overly painful though. I think it’s a good thing to be able to discuss it openly request chocolate!

I crave chocolate on my period, can't help it!
I would have some of her faves in the house for when she wants some around the time of the month. But demands and pampering etc - no!

14, feels rough, wants her mum to treat her kindly. Is there something wrong with that?

"And I'm suprised at how many people keep chocolate in their house as a standard. I mean, I'd love to be able to but I have zero self control and would just inhale it immediately." Maybe other people have that self control???

Also, chocolate aside, I am loving the idea that you can go to a doctor and tell them, especially as a teenage girl, that you have heavy and painful periods and they can immediately sort you out. It took me several years of nagging before I was even prescribed naproxen for periods so painful I used to vomit.

Bloody hell its not about the chocolate. She wants her mam to show her some care when she's probably in pain and feeling crap. Yes I buy my dd chocolate if I think she's having a bad time of it. Guess what, when she notices i'm having a bad period she'll often go buy a bar of chocolate for me. We must be so dysfunctional.

I rather think that the reason periods aren't taken seriously by medical professionals is because women are treated like silly little girls for expressing any kind of pain or discomfort, and are told to just shut up and get on with it. Perhaps something we could bear in mind on this thread...

Doesn't she have any pocket money she can spend on some?

Me and my mum were never overly close and my mum was far from the panderinf type of mum(typical mum and teenager relationship!) but I'm glad having periods was the one of the things I always felt comfortable discussing with my mum, it was never anything I was embarrassed about. My mum had equally debilitating periods as a teenager so probably why she was so sympathetic and I remember her taking me back and forth to the doctors about it (I later found out about 20 years later I had a tilted uterus which I suspect was the cause of them!).

As someone said it's these acts of kindness I remember. I don't think a few days of extra tlc every did anyone ever harm.

My husband takes our boys out to buy me treats when I'm on my period. I hope they do the same for their wives in the future. I will certainly spoil my girls when they start having periods.