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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DD demanding chocolate when she's on her period

614 replies

Homeymum2 · 04/02/2025 16:35

My 14 yo DD insists that all her friends parents buy them chocolates and pamper them when they are cycling -

I'm being told I'm a terrible mum and badgered for chocolates

Am I an outlier to not cater to this?

OP posts:
Dishwashersaurous · 04/02/2025 19:37

The op has clarified that there isn't chocolate in the kitchen cupboard.

That the daughter has eaten her Christmas chocolate.

But that op hasn't eaten all her Christmas chocolate and the daughter asked if she could have some of that.

The op isn't even being asked to go out and get chocolate, but just to give her daughter some chocolate that she has in the house and hasn't eaten in six weeks

StormingNorman · 04/02/2025 19:39

Is this a joke?

Mnetcurious · 04/02/2025 19:40

You’re not an outlier! I have teenage daughters and in no way do I pamper them (including buying chocolate) when they have a period. I’m sympathetic when they moan but that’s as far as it goes, although I offer a hot water bottle sometimes. I’m friends with lots of other mums and as far as I know no one does any pampering. I imagine “everyone else’s parents” means one or two at most.

bridgetreilly · 04/02/2025 19:43

Surely she gets some pocket money that she can spend on chocolate when she wants it?

SemperIdem · 04/02/2025 19:43

valentinka31 · 04/02/2025 19:19

You actually should buy her chocolate.

1.5 days before bleeding starts, chocolate for some reason is a very very common craving and it does help.

So yes, you should.

Only once a month.

And why not look after your baby when she is hurting, and feels vulnerable and unwell? Periods are very debilitating, it is a special few days, we need care and love. Yes pamper her. Look after her like a baby again. Why not?

Please be joking

LaLaLoca · 04/02/2025 19:43

Some food banks/ schools put a bar of chocolate in their period product bags. I get the cravings so really do see things from your daughters perspective. It might not be considered essential, but these things that we can do as parents are nurturing and acknowledge our children’s challenges, showing that we have their backs

CorduroySituation · 04/02/2025 19:45

MajorCarolDanvers · 04/02/2025 17:03

Chocolate, hot water bottle and some paracetamol and stop being a misery guts.

This.

No harm in a little maternal kindness when your DD is getting used to having periods.

Cerial · 04/02/2025 19:47

In my house, periods … it’s just another day.

CorduroySituation · 04/02/2025 19:48

@niadainud Crusts?

I assumed it was a typo for crisps.

Lozzq · 04/02/2025 19:48

What did I miss? People do this for their daughters? My mum would have laughed at me for asking for chocolate but didn’t have the relationship where I even told her about my periods.

Hermitta · 04/02/2025 19:49

My ds12 goes round the shop to buy chocolate for dd15 when she is on her period. He's also been known to take a hot water bottle in for her. Dd tells him he is daft but it always makes her smile.

DH told him once when he was around 8 that it helps, that some girls like dd have quite painful ones and that it's a kind thing to do when someone is in discomfort.

I don't think it's 'pampering' to be nice to people when they are in pain.

BunnyLake · 04/02/2025 19:50

Scentedjasmin · 04/02/2025 19:18

I don't think that it's a healthy choice to use chocolate to compensate for having a bad day or time or as a reward. That's how emotional food addictions start. I've been overweight most of my life as a result.

I’ve been using chocolate like that for over 50 years, no food addictions here (except maybe chocolate🤔). I’m alive and well (physically and mentally) and will be eating chocolate on my deathbed hopefully.

TemporaryPosition · 04/02/2025 19:51

StormingNorman · 04/02/2025 19:39

Is this a joke?

I remember some time ago I had time to kill. I was intrigued by some of these apps that allowed anonymous chat. It really gave me insight into the strange predilections of some. One prominent and recurring theme I identified was young men who liked to "look after" girls once a month. "Look after" is not a euphemism for sex, it involved things like buying them chocolate.

I wonder if the OPs daughters have come across these types and give a skewed impression

CorduroySituation · 04/02/2025 19:51

CharlotteCChapel · 04/02/2025 17:14

I think that this treats periods as an illness. OK I never had pms or period pain so perhaps I'm biased. It could also lead to a disorderd relationship with chocolate. Feeling ill chocolate, in pain choco, having a bad day, choc.

We don't have chocolate in the house as a matter of course.

Yeah, you have NO idea then. Endo pains are recorded as worse than childbirth. So off you trot and leave us with our painkillers and chocolate!

Flick8 · 04/02/2025 19:51

Cerial · 04/02/2025 19:47

In my house, periods … it’s just another day.

Same when I'm on my period but I'm very lucky to have never experienced cramps or heavy periods like many women do. Surely you know that some women suffer with theirs.

biscuitsandbooks · 04/02/2025 19:53

Cerial · 04/02/2025 19:47

In my house, periods … it’s just another day.

Good for you.

What if you had a daughter whose periods made her vomit? Or faint? Would it just be another day then?

FrustratedandBemused · 04/02/2025 19:54

Some people are so… joyless. Sometimes I even have chocolate when I’m not on my period!

Lowhangingfruitisthebest · 04/02/2025 19:54

OP doesn't want to buy skin care for her daughter either, she seems rather....puritanical in her views on bringing up children.

Hermitta · 04/02/2025 19:55

FrustratedandBemused · 04/02/2025 19:54

Some people are so… joyless. Sometimes I even have chocolate when I’m not on my period!

Sacrilege!!!

Simplynotsimple · 04/02/2025 19:56

‘We had a load of chocolate at Christmas’ is peak Mumsnet. You just forgot to add the ‘naice’ in front, or call it ‘special choc’. My mum was so crap I actually told my grandmother when I first started, and it was pretty rotten for the first couple of years. As an adult, all ‘watch what I eat’ is off for 3-4 days, I’m so bloated and miserable that if a bar of galaxy chocolate helps, damn right I’ll eat a ‘family sized’ one (I’m sure that’s the regular sized one from the 90s).

CorduroySituation · 04/02/2025 19:58

ServantsGonnaServe · 04/02/2025 17:28

There's also an element of standard setting.

If I won't nurture my adaughter and show her how she should expect to be treated, why would she expect anyone else to?

It's all very well saying people didn't make a thing of it in our day, but I CAN do better so I WILL do better.

I want my daughter to feel like I'm the mum she wants to live up to being.

You can't pour from an empty cup, so OP, if your mum never did it for you, don't you think it might be nice to give your daughter more than what you had?

I fuck up as a mum in a regular basis, we all do. But this is such am easy win tat I'm baffled you aren't falling over yourself to love your daughterin a way that matters to her.

Love this.

Lourdes12 · 04/02/2025 19:59

Why does she have to ask for it? Can’t she get some herself? It’s normal to crave chocolate when you’re on your period or getting hormonal migraines

Pilloecat · 04/02/2025 20:00

SemperIdem · 04/02/2025 19:43

Please be joking

Show quote history

Why would they be joking? I agree with them, I think some of the responses here quite sad and cold hearted personally. Periods can be absolutely shite and make you feel genuinely ill, why wouldn’t you want to pamper your little girl to make her feel a bit better?

BunnyLake · 04/02/2025 20:00

CharlotteCChapel · 04/02/2025 17:14

I think that this treats periods as an illness. OK I never had pms or period pain so perhaps I'm biased. It could also lead to a disorderd relationship with chocolate. Feeling ill chocolate, in pain choco, having a bad day, choc.

We don't have chocolate in the house as a matter of course.

When I had my periods I couldn’t go to work, couldn’t leave the house, would be on the floor doubled up with pain, and to top all that off I’d have migraines. It would go on for two solid days then ease off, every single month for years and years. One of the best days of my life was having a full hysterectomy. So yeah it can be like an illness and I didn’t even have endiometriosis.

diddl · 04/02/2025 20:01

I think that basically there's nothing wrong with wanting chocolate.

I would say how it was asked for would have a bearing, also "all the parents do it" would piss me off.

All of that said, if she has been asking just about every month since starting her periods I'd just be buying it with the shop.

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