DD demanding chocolate when she's on her period

[Homeymum2]

My 14 yo DD insists that all her friends parents buy them chocolates and pamper them when they are cycling -

I'm being told I'm a terrible mum and badgered for chocolates

Am I an outlier to not cater to this?

I mean is it really a big deal? Just buy her a chocolate bar for once a month.

I don't think that it's a healthy choice to use chocolate to compensate for having a bad day or time or as a reward. That's how emotional food addictions start. I've been overweight most of my life as a result.

I must be a bad mum too! My daughters are 16 and 19, and it's never crossed my mind to buy in chocolate (or pamper them) when they're on. I've never been pampered either!! Having said that, there's usually a range of snacks and treats available for whenever - they are more than old enough to fetch their own snacks. Or they can walk 100m to the corner shop and buy their own!

I meant it more as "This is not a thing that happens". I'm all for being kind, but expecting service is something else entirely!

This seems ridiculous. Not everyone has difficult periods or needs pampering.

Also don't fall for the "every body else's parents...' line. It wasn't true when I was at school in the 1970s and it isn't true now.

OTOH, the fact that she's making an issue of it might be a cry for some attention and I'm a firm believer that if someone is attention seeking it's not a hobby, it's because they need some attention.

Sit alone with her , tell her you don't want to treat her like a baby or make her periods into a problem so why not compromise. You'll up her allowance/pocket money by £x so if when her period is due she thinks she needs chocolate she has the money to buy it but if not it's hers to spend as she chooses. And if when she buys it she still needs a bit of pampering , come to you and you'll have a movie night together.

I always liked chocolate when I was on my period and I’m not overweight.

You actually should buy her chocolate.

1.5 days before bleeding starts, chocolate for some reason is a very very common craving and it does help.

So yes, you should.

Only once a month.

And why not look after your baby when she is hurting, and feels vulnerable and unwell? Periods are very debilitating, it is a special few days, we need care and love. Yes pamper her. Look after her like a baby again. Why not?

If the 80s/90s are anything to go by, then the 70s treatment of periods must have been barbaric, or entirely absent.

Personally I had to have my mother and grandmother keeping a candlelit vigil round my bed all night and absolutely not letting go of my hands when I started my periods...

And ok I guess boarding school/periods was not a good combo. Yes I suffered. Dreadfully. Literally. It was horrific.

So wrap your daughter in cotton wool, if you have that luxury.

For me, chocolate would be the sort of thing kids/teens buy from pocket money/allowance. It's not something I'd have in the house normally.

I would not have an issue with chocolate but the demand. Any demand would mean a resounding no

I always have chocolate when I'm on. I'm not overweight; I don't have a sweet tooth the rest of the month, so I don't buy it. I will, however, buy some for DH when he's in pain or the DC if they're unwell/as a treat. Again, they don't have a sweet tooth often, so no emotional eating.

Buying chocolate for a period isn't giving anyone food problems. 🤣

I must have come from a hard house, definitely no pampering when I was young. Mum would have told me to take paracetamol and reminded me it was running club night 🤣. I won many races while on my period and really would expect to be pampered, although I do eat shed loads of chocolate at any time of the month!

This.
It's actually a lack of vitamin H, makes some ladies on period crave chocolate, regardless of age.
I read it in a book. 😐

I always crave chocolate for a couple of days when it’s that time of the month. I’d hate it if someone controlled and told me I was ‘not allowed’ to have some.

This.

This isn't the hill to die on, OP.

Ridiculous. There's these things called shops and most humans are issued with legs and you can use them to visit the shops and buy chocolate all by yourself.

Im due on a few days and right now i could eat enough for an army.
I dont eat chocolate use to but cant have it now.
But all i want is bloody junk food this will carry on until the 3rd day of my period and then i wont touch any junk.
So far its crisp about 6 bags to day pies and sweets plenty of sweets right now im eating gummy bears and crisp just so peckish but i dont want food just junk.
I feel like a pig my boobs are killing me my belly is bloated and i have 2 spots ill be normal soon i swear.
Happens every month.
In my next life i want to come back as a man thanks for the rant.

Ah, this reminds me of when my mum used to buy me a massive bar of Dairy Milk when I was suffering with my period. Even now she buys me one if I come on while I'm staying with her - and I'm 36

As for everyone saying "if she suffers go to the GP" - I saw my GP regularly for heavy periods from the age of 14 - I only got a diagnosis of PCOS two weeks ago. There's very little help out there for heavy periods except for the pill, sadly.

my mum would buy me feminax, a bar of chocolate, and make me a hot water bottle if it was particularly bad - I don’t understand what’s wrong with giving her a little treat / a £2 bar of chocolate?

is it me or is everyone missing the point
shes probably allowed chocolate and allowed to feel a bit shit but DEMANDING her mum to buy her stuff which i imagine shes fully capable of doing herself is the problem?? she can still function i presume?!!?
it's the entitlement and rudeness for me

I always get my daughter a bit of wholenut when she’s on her period. It’s the only time she’s really bothered about it. Wondering why it is such an issue?

OP says she's demanding, but she hasn't actually clarified the words used. She also thinks her DD is out of order for asking her to spend a couple of quid on makeup remover.

Between the two threads, I get the impression OP just doesn't want to get anything "unnecessary" for her DD.

And also, some women can't function well during periods. I feel faint when I'm on. I'd do it if I had to, but luckily DH is a sweetheart and doesn't make me. Neither did my dad. Neither does my brother for his partner.

Same way I wouldn't make DH limp in agony to the shop if he wanted chocolate. Because, you know...I love him and it's nice to generally be nice to loved ones in pain.

Mumsnet: Women and girls should advocate for themselves and feel free to express their needs.

14yo girl: I would like some chocolate when I am on my period.

Mumsnet: Chocolate??!! On your period? I never had chocolate on my period! Hell, I never even allow it in my house! Buy it yourself if you must but don't let me even sniff it on you! And don't ever expect special treatment at your "time of the month" again, you're pathetic!

The OP, for anyone who hasn't noticed has a second thread running about not wanting to buy her daughter makeup remover.

There seems to be bigger issues and problems in the dynamic going on than meets the eye.

When you’ve already walked a mile and a half home from school and feel godawful with cramps and are a bit over-emotional and weepy, heading out to the shops in February drizzle is very unappealing.

DD’s older brothers would fetch some for her if I or her dad hadn’t already sorted it. A pack of chocolate buttons or Maltesers is a nice thing to do for someone who is feeling low.